Because It's My First Life Novels & Stories

- He whispers weakly but then falls silent with his eyes open. My body was frozen. My lung stopped inflating, my heart gave one last hard beat and all my blood stopped flowing. It was probably white. "The sunflower still lives as long as there is the sun" I was still alive... "Killing was the first thing you did when you came to life, and it will be the only and last thing you do in life." ...with no trouble getting up... "You came for deaths and therefore you will live for her." ...and strength and motivation like never before in my life.

“HENRY, YOU WANT TO CREATE ME, YOU WATCH ARON GIVES ERIC, SO ERIC MAY ALIVE. YOU HAVE TO BE HEALTHY-FAST TO Defeat ARON BACK ERIC. YOU WANT TO WAIT FOR NIGHT!!” Nathan growled, grabbing Henry's shoulder and rocking it back and forth. As for giving Henry a few more punches to the face to wake him up, Henry was a little shaken when he heard that Eric might be alive. “It's MY ME, ALL MYSELF. IF I WAS NOT THE GENERAL, IF I WAS NOT GOOD, ERIC DID NOT HAPPEN, IT'S ON ME.”

“Your memories. We had no time for ourselves but the few memories we made kept me alive.” “In my life, I’ve always been asking myself what I was born for. I had no use to anyone around me. I’ve been empty but that day I met you… I felt alive. I’m sorry I didn’t think of this before killing myself. I just realized now that you are the only reason I have to live.” She was meant to say it with a smile but she cried instead. “Alexa, what’s wrong?” “Life gives you something and takes it anytime it likes. It’s cruel. Life is cruel.”

The first strike is always the worst. Not because it hurts more—pain is relative when you’ve felt it your whole damn life. No, it’s because it reminds you that you’re back here. That no matter how far you try to run, how many masks you wear, how many times you tell yourself you’re safe—you never fucking are.

Because in a world where I can’t afford to let anyone in, this is the only way I know how to survive. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up early again. And the cycle will begin once more.

-Jacob- The crisp and fresh scent of the air, the steaming coffee and the peaceful afternoon, nothing I could imagine to be felt so divine before. Just few months ago, I kept questioning myself, constantly. What's the reason for my existence, the reason for my hard working or the reason being so patient with my parents who never valued me as a person. What's the reason for me to stay alive even after knowing I am different than others? What's the point of living even after everything? All those questions I have kept repeating in my head until I saw her. The first thing I felt inside was - It was worth of living.

Whatever I had turned into, wasn’t normal. That was my first shift. The first time I had taken someone's life. But it was far from the last time…

Life can be cruel to us every time. Sometimes we think nothing good is going to happen—that’s where we go wrong. That we are waking up each day, that we are surviving, we can be the happiest person in the world. Waking up is a chance, to make a difference, to do what we want to do. . . to love ourselves and to be true. The first day I opened my eyes with no memories at all, I felt like my life had stopped as well. It was as if I was dead, but I can still feel the pain in my heart.

And when the world comes back— It breathes. Not broken. Not whole. But alive. And for the first time since this began— That feels like enough.

Because for the first time—I realized that the truth of my life might be far more dangerous than the lies I had been living in. —------------------------------------