Best Dark Jokes

"I won't let them hurt you," Jade vowed, staring intently into Kalista's tearful eyes. "I will protect you with my life, even if I have to choose you over my own pack" Kalista felt her heart flutter at his words. She tried to smile as he wiped her tears. "You would do that for me?" she whispered. "I will do whatever it takes to protect you," Jade replied and gently kissed her. ... Kalista, leading a quiet life in the human world changes her fate when she discovers a mysterious gem in the forest. This discovery unveils her true identity as a halfblood; a forbidden creature that isn't meant to exist; half-human, half-werewolf, mated to Jade, the Alpha Prince. Alpha Jade, the most powerful and strongest lycan ever, lost his parents to his evil uncle and now, avenging their death is the only thing he can think of. On his quest to find the Soul Gem that was stolen, he finds his mate, a halfblood who possesses part of the powers of the gem. She becomes his obsession and he was prepared to destroy the entire realm to keep her safe. As both humans and werewolves pose a threat to her due to the gem's powers she possesses, and her forbidden existence, Kalista has no one to rely on for protection except her mate. But when trials and conspiracies arise against them, with Jade's evil uncle threatening to destroy the entire world with the Soul Gem he stole, only one thing can save them both, and the world. The sacrifice of a halfblood. Will Jade stand back and watch his mate give her life to save the world?

BOOK ONE OF THE OBSESSION SERIES. ~~~~~~~ "Who hurt you?" Antonio's deep voice cut through the air like daggers. Isabella lowered her eyes timidly, holding on to her wounded arm. "It was Master Pedro." Mario, his bodyguard, answered instead. Antonio said nothing more. He uncrossed his legs and grabbed the large butcher knife on the table. "Wait here." He murmured to Isabella. He stormed into the gambling parlor, his face set in a deep scowl, his eyes burning with rage, his grip tight on the knife. When Pedro spotted him, he grinned and waved. "Antonio, have you come to join us?" Antonio marched up to him, grabbed his hand and chopped it off. Pedro's painful scream echoed all over the gambling room. "Don't touch what is mine!" … Orphaned at a young age, Isabella Valdez always thought her aunt Sophia who raised her wanted her to have a good life. But it was all a lie. She was being sold off. At the auction center, tied to a stake, she watched as the crowd of men bargained loudly, each trying to buy her for the highest amount. Until a deep, emotionless voice spoke calmly from the crowd. "A hundred thousand pieces of gold." … Don Antonio de Marino is the ruthless El Capo of La Vendetta Oscura, the powerful and most feared mafia organization in Las Vegas. His world revolved around three things: Wealth. Power. Revenge. But nothing could have prepared him for the chaos that came with the innocent Isabella Valdez. … This is a Mafia dark romance story and strongly rated 18. COMING SOON. BOOK TWO: THE BODYGUARD'S OBSESSION BOOK THREE: THE DEVIL'S OBSESSION

Three months after my baby was born, I found out my husband, Joe, was cheating. The other woman? Hailey. Pregnant and smug. Joe actually got on his knees, begging for a divorce. I said yes. Until I could find a place, Joe's mom, Claudia, let me stay at the house. "Hailey," Claudia said, "you'll handle all the household responsibilities now." Hailey, all fake enthusiasm, chirped, "I'll take good care of this family!" Claudia replied, "Great. You'll start your day at five making breakfast. When Luca's hungry, you'll feed him and change his diapers. Once he's down for a nap, clean the house, grocery shop, and prep lunch. Laundry in the afternoon, tea service mid-day, then bathe Luca and cook dinner. After that, you'll put him to bed." Hailey's face? Priceless.

“Please, Mr. Kaiden, this is enough,” I begged, forcing my voice and face to look weak, almost tearful. “I’m not done.” I stared at him in disbelief. This man was insane. What more did he want than this? One kiss was not a big deal, but what we were doing was still betrayal. On both sides. “Both of us? You and I are cheating…” He cut me off, rolling his eyes with boredom. “It doesn’t matter who gets hurt as long as we both enjoy what we’re doing. When you’re with me, don’t think about anyone else.” “That’s not easy for someone getting married in two months.” “And what about someone who got married a month ago?” After I said that, he spoke words that hit me like lightning. “Married a month ago.” “A month and a half, to be more precise.” Damn it. I wish I had even a little of his cold calm. “It was like the first day of my honeymoon was yours. I played for you that day.” I froze. “Do you mean you left your wife sleeping on the very first day of your honeymoon… and went out to play music for a girl on the beach?” “Exactly.” ************************×************************ Tara Blackwood never thought her quiet life would turn upside down because of one man. A forbidden man. Kaiden Draven. A powerful lawyer. Her father’s closest friend. Married. A man older than her, dangerous enough to tear down every rule she had lived by. Caught between an engagement that suffocates her and a marriage bound with no love, Tara stands on the edge of a choice that could destroy everyone… or save her heart. So can she resist a man she should never want?

What's worse than being trapped in an elevator with your gorgeous, Rich boss? Being trapped with all three of them. Jack, Gavin, and Harrison aren't just my bosses; they're my brother's filthy rich best friends. After a steamy, unplanned hookup when the lights went out, I'm about to become much more than just the girl next door. There's Jack, whose touch drives me wild. Gavin, the cocky CEO whose dirty orders I can't wait to obey. And Harrison, the sweet, passionate one who pours his heart into everything... including me. I've waited years for these men to finally see me. Now, I belong to them. My body is theirs to devour, my bed is theirs to break. But giving them my heart is a terrifying risk, and I just pray they don't shatter it.

At my five-year mating anniversary celebration, my best friend who had vanished years ago suddenly appeared with a six-year-old child. The child's father was my mate, Alexander, I am the Alpha King's only daughter. Alexander was one of the top five Alphas in the northern territories. He pursued me for five years before I agreed to bond with him. We even had an adorable four-year-old daughter together. Yet my mate not only refused to explain his betrayal, but now he expected me to accept my friend and her child into our home. He favored the illegitimate son in everything, even allowing him to harm our daughter. When I finally rejected him and found a new father for my daughter, he used the entire Stormfang Pack to try to win me back.

"I didn’t know," I said, trying to steady my voice. "And stop throwing it in my face like I planned this. Bella is my best friend. I would never do anything to hurt her or ruin our friendship." He let out a low, dark laugh. "And she has no idea how sweet her best friend tastes when she is soaking wet on my tongue." **** Aria Grace loves to play dangerous games, but nothing prepares her for the fire she feels after her one-night stand with a cold, rich, and unforgettable stranger. She thinks it is just one night until she walks into her best friend’s mansion the next morning and sees him again; Nicholas King is her best friend’s dad. Aria knows she should run far away, but she keeps running back into his arms. But when his hidden life and her mother’s old lies come crashing down, will their dangerous love survive? Author's Warning: This book is sinfully steamy and not for the faint of heart. Expect explicit adult scenes, a forbidden age-gap romance, and a dark, dominant daddy who breaks all the rules. If you're under 18 or easily scandalized, turn back now. For the bold, the curious, and the daring, welcome to your next obsession. 18+ only. Read at your own risk. NOTE: You'll also find other bonus, short stories aside the first story that are strictly 18+ as well, and contain graphic sexual contentl, hardcore sex, stepfather, double penetration, multiple partners, gangbangs, taboo fantasies, and emotional entanglements. If you cannot handle messy emotions, power games, and men who do not play fair, this story is not for you. Proceed with caution. You have been warned.

Xavier Woods is a biker with a secret and an obsession with a woman he should not want but does. Rei Draven navigates the aftermath of an unexpected event, striving to rebuild her life. As a divorced mother of three, her world is shaken again when the man from her dreams appears and challenges her to embrace love. Can troubled soul Xavier mend Rei's shattered heart? What unfolds when love is presented unexpectedly? Will Rei take a leap of faith into love or run? Set in a small town, this is a love story between two destined individuals, the delicate balance of light and darkness, hope and despair, and the profound impact of love.

Tentang dua orang yang bersahabat - Rigecherta dan Tivane - yang bersahabat dari kecil, namun tragedi saat mereka duduk di kelas 9 SMP membuat mereka harus berpisah karena Tivane yang hilang ingatan. Berpisah selama 3 tahun dan bertemu saat kelas 12 SMA. Namun Tivane akan di jodohkan. Bagaiman nasib Rigecherta yang menunggu 3 tahun dan diam diam suka terhadap sahabatnya itu. Akankah dia berhenti berharap kepada sahabatnya itu, atau mereka akan kembali bersatu.

"Come for daddy, little Eli." Those words from my dad's best friend, were my undoing. I lusted over this man for years and he never noticed me. To him, I was just a kid. I devised a plan to get him to fuck me. When the truth gets out, will it be the end of this fire between us? And what happens when my dad—the world finds out about us?