Best Dark Jokes

🥉3rd place in the writing competition "Me and My Womens" [21+, harem] Marvin Rock is the dream of many women because of his wealth and power, but his sincerity surpasses everything. His wife said proudly, "Not only loyal, you are also mighty!"

"I'm sorry, Daddy..." The massive length shoved in and out of me from behind. A heavy hand slammed against my ass with a brutal crack, and my hair was yanked back, forcing my head up. "Suck it." My mouth was stuffed over and over again, cum dripping from the corners of my lips. "I was wrong, I was wrong, Master..." ******** My name is Aiden, and I'm a college freshman. I have three roommates: the quiet and shy Jovian, the playboy Ethan, and my secret crush—the cold and aloof Chris. I used to be their roommate; now I am their sex slave.

Isang masayahin at palakaibigan na dalaga si Bella. Matalik niyang kaibigan na lalaki si Vin simula pagkabata. Magkapitbahay lamang sila at madalas na magkasundo sa lahat ng bagay. Naging magkaklase sila ni Vin simula elementarya hanggang high school. Sobrang close nila sa isa't isa kaya madalas silang magkasama. Ngunit pagdating ng college ay kinailangang umalis ni Vin upang mag-aral sa ibang bansa. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ni Bella na nagmula si Vin sa mayamang pamilya kaya hindi na sya nagtaka nung kinailangang umalis ni Vin upang mag-aral sa ibang bansa. Lumipas pa ang mga taon ay bumalik na si Vin sa Pilipinas at nalaman eto ni Bella. Nang magkrus ang kanilang landas ay nagtaka si Bella kung bakit parang iba ang pakikitungo ni Vin sa kanya at madalas ay iniiwasan pa nga siya. Doon na nalaman ni Bella na may nararamdaman na pala si Vin sa kanya. Higit pa sa matalik na magkaibigan. Sobra ang tuwang nadama ni Bella dahil napagtanto nyang mahal na rin nya ang binata. Ngunit isang araw ay napalitan ng lungkot ang saya na nadarama ni Bella nang makita nya si Vin na may kasamang ibang babae, si Nicole, at napag-alaman nyang ikakasal na ang mga eto. Labis na nasaktan si Bella. Akala nya kasi ay si Vin na ang nakalaan para sa kanya pero may ibang plano pala ang tadhana para sa kanila. Magagawa pa kayang ipaglaban ni Bella ang pagmamahal nya kay Vin? O hahayaan na lamang nya etong magpakasal sa ibang babae.

"You belong to me Ralia . I would make you love me, bend you to my will, but you will never have my heart, to me, you would remain a weapon to be used against the moon goddess." Ralia is a pure innocent, dedicated to the moon goddess since birth. She is not allowed to think any bad thoughts, or do any bad thing, otherwise her family would lose their fortune. When she is eighteen, her sister out of spite dresses her up like a whore and sends her to Lord Lesley, the dark Alpha, so he can seduce her, and destroy the family's fortune. Alpha Lesley, thinking that she is nothing but a whore seduces her. They are found by the rest of the family who demand they mate officially. Ralia is already in love with the dark Alpha, but Lesley only agrees to mate her in order to use her to revenge against the moon goddess.

My biased mother brought my sister, Irene Baxter, to help me with my child. But one day, I forgot to bring a contract to work. When I returned home, I saw two bodies entwined. To cover up their secret, my husband, Sam Hodgson, and Irene pushed me off the tenth floor. It was only after my death that I realized I had been nothing more than a tool for carrying on the family name. "It's better that she's dead. Now my sweet girl can be a mom without having to go through childbirth." "Sleeping with her was revolting; she was like a block of wood. Irene is so much better." Even Irene had regrets. "Still, we shouldn't have pushed her down. She was smashed beyond recognition—otherwise, we might’ve been able to sell her corpse for a pretty penny." When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day they pushed me off the building. This time, I wouldn't let any of them off the hook.

Olivia Holton used to have a secret crush on her brothers bestfriend, that is until he changed. Once they had gotten into high-school his entire personality changed. He forgot that he used to wear braces, and was a nerd before working out two summers ago constantly. He worked out until he was built like a god, got rid of the braces and suddenly popular girls were falling at his feet. It also doesn't hurt when he wears that black leather jacket, has brown shaggy hair and dark green hazel eyes. Jesus the boy is gorgeous but she couldn't can't stand him now. Her secret crushed faded when she realized it was never going to happen with Sean Walker. She gave up on getting her brothers best friend to notice her a long time ago and she wants to move on. She needs to move on but as soon as she started dating a boy, Sean had problems with it.

The story about a young bright girl whose life got destroyed because of her father's believe. Alexa is lost and faded, shattered and broken as she writes about her dark past on her death bed just after she finally finds true love and wishes to live instead.

I am a first-time writer so please enjoy... Ciara isn't your average werewolf; she's a chemically and magically altered therianthrope or a multi-shifter. Wolf, bear, owl, mouse and fox. Ever since she was found in a laboratory when she was a child by the Alpha of her pack, her shifter abilities have prevented her from getting what she truly wants... Freedom and love. When the Summer Moon Festival is held at her pack, Ciara's world is turned upside down by the people who supposedly care about her and when she finds her mate, things start taking a turn. However, he isn't just any werewolf, he is the future Alpha King. The Alpha of War. Alpha Mars doesn't want a mate, but his parents are forcing him to take a chosen mate. He is determined to leave the Summer Moon Festival without a mate. However, when he meets a corky, she-wolf with a sassy attitude, he can't stay away from her. But both Ciara and Alpha Mars intend to secretly reject the other... eventually... What happens when the mate bond is stronger than their own individual plans? What will happen when Ciara's past comes back? Will Alpha Mars accept Ciara's secrets?

"Tsk." "See, what your disobedience did." He rasped in a mocking tone. His head tilted to the left as he peered down at her with a smirk so malicious, that one would immediately know that he was the cause of the disaster around her. Sasha scooted back in horror and turned around, she stood up on her trembling legs, and just as she took a few steps to get away from the monster behind her, she ended up facing him. He was pale, he had red eyes and he was everything but a gentleman. Only if that one unfortunate day, she didn't help him, hell wouldn't have cocooned her in its embrace. ********* Sasha Walton known as the kindest princess among the kingdoms was a twenty-two years old sunshine of her kingdom that once bloomed in glory. Every other person admired her because of her kind and friendly nature. With her kindness came her bravery...but with her kindness she ended up falling in the claws of a merciless beast who wasn't even a human to begin with. Ragnar, was a king no one had ever seen but was feared by the whole world. He lurked in the shadows of the night and feasted on his enemies. He was known as the cruelest king and on one fortunate night, he came across someone so opposite to his world. He was intrigued and obsessed with her. He yearns to possess her, claim her, and captivate her in every possible way he can because little Sasha belongs to him.

Three months after my baby was born, I found out my husband, Joe, was cheating. The other woman? Hailey. Pregnant and smug. Joe actually got on his knees, begging for a divorce. I said yes. Until I could find a place, Joe's mom, Claudia, let me stay at the house. "Hailey," Claudia said, "you'll handle all the household responsibilities now." Hailey, all fake enthusiasm, chirped, "I'll take good care of this family!" Claudia replied, "Great. You'll start your day at five making breakfast. When Luca's hungry, you'll feed him and change his diapers. Once he's down for a nap, clean the house, grocery shop, and prep lunch. Laundry in the afternoon, tea service mid-day, then bathe Luca and cook dinner. After that, you'll put him to bed." Hailey's face? Priceless.