Best Dark Jokes

I roll my eyes. "Why are you being nice to me? Did your therapist say it was good for your mental health?" *************** Jeanet and James have been together for four almost blissful years. Two years ago, James bumped into his ex-girlfriend and realized he still had feelings for her, but every time Jeanet asked him, he denied this, until one morning when he does something that makes Jeanet finally lose it. She moves out of their shared apartment, but she has nowhere to go. She can barely afford rent with her failed business, and no company wants to hire her due to her past. She ends up forced to work for Damien, the Italian hotshot who barely smiles, who is also her best friend's uncle, and who has always despised her, but she never cared, because she despised him back even more. How are they supposed to share space when they are a true definition of a cat and mouse?

WARNING! SMUT! SMUT!! SMUT!! “Open your fucking legs wider, bitch, and stop pretending this isn't what you have always wanted.” I flinch at the boom of his voice and do as he says. He drives in three fingers into my pussy as he pounds my ass and all I can do is moan and take it. “Take it, you filthy fucking slut,” he says, pounding harder into me. “This is what you want right? To be a filthy fucking slut. If this is what you want, you can fucking take it.” And I can feel his cock hitting my guts. ***** I am Holly Winterbourne. I am a young girl with a secret forbidden crush on her best friend's father. I shouldn't want him. I shouldn't even think of his touch on my body and most importantly, I shouldn't be FUCKING him. But fate brings us together during the holidays and I realize I can't resist my best friend's father, no matter how hard I try.

R-18 content. Have you ever been in love with your father's best friend? Do you wonder how on earth you got yourself into this mess and how you can get out of it? Anyssa is a young omega, the illegitimate daughter of Alpha Calder. Young and witty, she is asked by her father to intern at his best friend's company as his secretary. What started as a simple job grows into something much more forbidden. She falls for her father's best friend, and worse, becomes pregnant by him even after she finds her mate. Will this work, or is it just a fleeting romance? Something that should never have happened? Alpha Ronan: When my best friend asked for a favor, I didn’t expect it to come in the form of a red-haired, annoying girl with big tits and a slender waist. Anyssa Black is more than just a ‘pretty girl,’ and she is mine to claim.

I made a mistake that could ruin me. I fell for a man I should’ve feared. At sixteen, I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Gianni Rossetti. My best friend’s father. A ruthless billionaire. A cold-blooded villain. A man twice my age, who could destroy me with a single look. For years, I was nothing to him—a silly girl with a foolish crush. But I couldn’t forget those icy blue eyes, the way his presence made the world feel small and dangerous. By the time I was twenty-one, I knew I should’ve walked away, left my fantasies behind. But then, one night, Gianni noticed me. And my world turned upside down. He didn’t just see me—he ‘claimed’ me. Every forbidden fantasy I’d ever had, he brought to life. He touched me, possessed me, made me feel things that shattered everything I thought I knew. With him, I wasn’t just a woman; I was ‘his’. But the deeper I fall, the darker it gets. Gianni’s world is filled with secrets, shadows that whisper of violence and betrayal. His past is more than just a dark history—it’s a deadly curse that threatens to consume us both. I knew he was dangerous, but I never imagined this. Now I’m trapped, caught in a web of desire and deceit, and the deeper I go, the harder it is to find my way out. But the worst part? I’m not sure I want to escape. Not if it means losing him.

Paulyn is his best friend's daughter. She's off-limits. Alfredo doesn't want to be tempted. He can't be tempted. That's why he keeps his distance from her. He tries to avoid her and stay away. But every time he moves away, every time he avoids her, it seems like the girl's desire to get closer to him, to get his attention, only grows stronger. She wanted him to give in. She wanted him to submit himself. And as time goes on, he feels like she's gradually getting him. He's gradually falling for her charm. Paulyn is a walking temptation. A sexy vixen that could awaken every man's sexual fantasies and he is not an exception to that.

"...If these feelings were not meant to be, why do they arise, especially when I'm naked? If these feelings were unnatural, why do they consume my thoughts, constantly drawing me towards him? How much longer can I keep these emotions bottled up in me? If this is truly how I feel, I must find a way to express myself when I am alone with him….” ************************************* Ava thought that the best way to help her best friend, Charlotte, after her boyfriend broke her heart publicly, was to persuade her to come along on a family vacation. However, before the vacation, Charlotte decided to go on a secret intimate blind date to help mend her broken heart. Little did she know that the person she was about to sleep with was none other than her best friend's dad. The blind date prevented the two strangers from seeing each other, and their eyes blindfolded during the process. Due to Charlotte's short encounter with an older man, she started developing love for Ava's dad. However, Charlotte came across a secret about Ava's family that Ava herself was unaware of. The secret could tire down Ava's family. Charlotte found herself torn between remaining loyal to her best friend or keeping the secret and continuing her forbidden relationship with Tyler. How would Tyler and Charlotte manage to keep their love hidden? Would Ava regret inviting Charlotte when she discovered the romance between her best friend and her own father? Would Tyler and Charlotte choose to pursue their love, even if their relationship was eventually exposed?

Matagal na si Divine na may gusto sa best friend ng Kuya Ivan niya na si Marcus ngunit nililihim lang niya 'yon. Hindi niya sinasabi 'yon dahil nahihiya siyang umamin na may gusto siya rito. Ulilang lubos na silang dalawa ng kuya niya. Isang araw ay kinailangan ng Kuya Ivan niya na pumunta sa ibang bansa dahil napili itong isama ng boss nila na magtatagal ng isang buwan. Hindi naman puwedeng tumanggi ang kuya niya kaya pumayag ito. Ang problema lang ay wala siyang makakasama sa bahay nilang dalawa. Ayaw pa naman ng kuya niya na mag-isa lang siya. Naisip ng Kuya Ivan niya na doon muna patirahin sa bahay nilang dalawa na magkapatid ang best friend nito na si Marcus para may kasama siya. Mapagkakatiwalaan naman ito at higit sa lahat ay babantayan siya. Imbis na matuwa ay kinabahan si Divine matapos niyang malaman 'yon na ang matagal na niyang gusto na lalaki ay ang makakasama niya sa bahay nila habang wala ang kuya niya. Ano kaya ang posibleng mangyari sa kanilang dalawa na magkasama sa iisang bubong? Masabi kaya ni Divine ang totoong nararamdaman niya para kay Marcus? May chance kaya na mahalin rin siya ni Marcus pabalik kung umamin siya ng totoong nararamdaman niya para dito?

“How do you like your cock sucked?” He throws his head back and laughs. My brows furrow. Then his gaze drops to mine again. “You’re cute. But not tonight, Chan.” “But—” “Another time.” Before I can respond, he scoops me up like I am his newlywed bride, arms under my knees and back, and carries me to the bed. He slowly lowers me onto the mattress. His hand slides to the nape of my neck, fingers working into my hair, and he pulls me into a deep, claiming kiss. I close my eyes and melt into it, arms curling around his neck. A moan escapes me when his mouth leaves mine and closes over one nipple. The wet suction sends a jolt straight between my legs. His hand drifts lower, fingers finding my clit and rubbing slowly. The pleasure becomes tight. More moans spill out before I can stop them. I bite my lip hard, trying to stay quiet. My family is downstairs eating dinner. If they hear—if anyone hears—they’ll kill me. He switches to the other breast, sucking harder while his fingers keep working me. ~~~ Chancé has been in love with River Dawson for four years. The charismatic hockey captain is everything she should avoid—magnetic, reckless, and dangerously irresistible. River doesn’t believe in relationships. He doesn’t do love. And according to his twin sister Cortney—Chancé’s best friend—he definitely isn’t someone Chancé should ever get involved with. But when Chancé saves River during a near-drowning accident, the boy she’s secretly loved finally notices her. What begins as a stolen moment quickly becomes a secret, intoxicating affair built on strict rules: no love, no labels, no drama—and absolutely no one can find out. Especially not Cortney.

Triggers; Explicit s*xual content Forbidden/taboo romance —- “Don’t stop, Ethan… please.” Her voice cracked on a moan as his fingers dug into her thighs, spreading her wide in the dark truck. For years, eighteen-year-old Mia has been hopelessly in love with Ethan — her older brother Jake’s twenty-two-year-old best friend. To him she has always been “squirt,” the little sister he swore to protect. But now their parents are gone for two weeks, and Mia is no longer willing to stay invisible. She launches a slow, relentless seduction: tiny bikinis by the pool, lingering touches in the kitchen, whispered questions that make his body betray him. Ethan fights it with everything he has — the bro code, his girlfriend Sarah, and years of loyalty to Jake. Every time he almost gives in, guilt forces him to pull away. But when Mia starts making him jealous, the tension finally snaps. One explosive night in a dark, secluded spot, Ethan stops resisting. He pins her down and devours her completely — raw, desperate, and utterly consuming. Now the line has been crossed. And neither of them knows if they can ever go back.

The worst thing for Elena Ryder was crushing on Harry since 5th grade but he never had feelings for her except for his best friend, Shawn. Elena, Harry, and Shawn have been friends since elementary. Elena closed feelings for Harry and accepted Shawn to be her boyfriend after his confession but now Harry is back from England re-opening that lost feelings Elena hid in her closet.