Best Filipino Jokes

“There was a fucking earthquake. It caused an avalanche on the mountain. Didn’t you feel it, you lazy piece of shit?” I yell at Kaleb. “No, I didn’t. I was fucking sleeping. Quit bitching at me.” he says. He’s wearing nothing but grey sweats that hang low on his waist. God, how can someone so fucking hot be so fucking annoying? “We are stuck here. There’s at least 25 feet of snow blocking us in this cabin. Lily and your parents can’t get back either.” I tell him. “Thanks for the observation. If we can’t get out, they obviously can’t get in.” “Can you not be a snarky asshole for 2 minutes?! We are literally fucking stuck in this cabin together for god knows how long!” I yell at Kaleb. He’s so infuriating sometimes. “Relax. I’m sure we’ll probably be out in a few hours.” “Oh you’re sure, are you? Well, guess what dipshit? The guy on the radio said they’re focusing on the surrounding areas first and then they’ll be working on the mountain. That could take fucking days, Kaleb.” Kaleb takes a step closer to me. “Don’t talk to me like I’m fucking stupid, Riley.” “Oh yeah? What are you doing to do?” “If you don’t stop with this bratty attitude, I’m going to fuck it out of you.”

I had fallen in love with my father’s friend—the man I was supposed to call “uncle,” Kael Viremont. For a while, I thought he loved me too. We even had this silly little promise—that if I turned twenty-seven and still want to be with him, then we could be together, publicly. Five days before my twenty-seventh birthday, I overheard him saying he’d never liked me. That he was going to marry his childhood sweetheart. And as if that wasn’t cruel enough, he was planning to use the wedding to cut me off for good. So I did the one thing I should’ve done a long time ago—accepted that he and I would never belong to the same world… and disappeared from his life for good.

“I know you want me. Petals.” His husky voice broke the silence in the room. “And I want you too.” My excitement spiked up as he ripped off my nightwear and did the same with his clothes exposing his well-built body. We were naked now, and his scrutinizing gaze made my heart race with anticipation. It was as if my mind had gained complete control of my body even as I willed myself to stay in control, it wasn’t working. “Uncle Ivor. This can't… you know Dad will–” I tried one more time, still in shock that this was happening. “This will stay between us. It will be our little secret, petals.” He whispered again, climbing the bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every girl has that time when they crushed on that one person they shouldn’t crush on and couldn't have, and it was quite the same for Renee Morse, especially when that harmless crush turned into something as endearing as obsession. She always dreamed about herself in the strong arms of her godfather and her dad’s best friend, Ivor Walker. His voice alone is enough to make her knees weak and nipples erect. Her body aches for him, her fantasies of him leaving her trembling, and her desires unrelenting. When her parents moved away for work and she had to spend her holiday with him, she took it as a sign from the universe and decided to seduce him until he wanted her as much as she wanted him. She succeeded, but little did she know that forbidden relationships always bring havoc and nothing is as simple as she thought. With enemies lurking and secrets from Ivor's past resurfacing, how long can they keep their relationship hidden? Will their love last the test of time, or will they drift apart?

#ALERT# THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT STEAMY SCENES. AND YOU MIGHT FIND CERTAIN CHARACTERS DISTURBING INCLUDING MORALLY GRAY CHARACTERS. #R18# THANKS FOR READING 😊 I’m Karima Heart, and I basically live a double life. In school, I’m the quiet, nerdy bookworm. At night, I’m the seductive, high-demand stripper every one screams for. But everything’s about to change. My perfect secret is on the verge of exposure because my brother’s best friend just caught me. Now, to keep him quiet, I have to play his little obedient girl… and with him living under our roof, it's getting harder to resist the pull between us...

I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to graduate top of my class, get into the best law firm, and make my brother proud. What I’m not here for? Sharing an apartment with Cade freaking West. My brother’s best friend. Tattooed, cocky, insufferable. A walking red flag on skates with a motorcycle named Roxie and a different girl in his bed every night. We don’t get along. We never have—especially not after what happened. He hates me for it. I don’t regret it. I was right. But the longer we’re forced to live under the same roof, the harder it gets to ignore the heat. The tension. The way he looks at me like he’s two seconds from ruining my entire life.

I never expected to fall for him, my best friend's father. From the moment I saw Marcus stride across the deck, water dripping from his shoulders, I knew this summer would change everything. I was eighteen now, no longer the little girl who used to play in his backyard. But to him, I was still just Lily's friend. Still off-limits. Still invisible. One vacation. One chance. I'd make him see me differently, even if it meant playing a dangerous game. Because some desires are too strong to ignore, and some men are worth every risk.

When Sylvia lost her last family and thought this was where her life as a rogue began, the most powerful Alpha dragged her to his mansion. "I owe your father a debt," he said to her. "Anything you desire, I’ll give it." But as he leaned closer—cedar and danger swirling in the air—all she wanted was: His teeth on her neck. His kiss like a brand.

“Say my name, baby. Tell me who this pus sy belongs to.” “Damian…” she moaned softly as I curled my fingers, hitting her just right. “Louder.” “DAMIAN!” Inside the bathroom, Henry let out a wrecked sob, as if her screaming my name had just carved his heart out all over again. Perfect. I pulled my fingers out, brought them to my mouth, and licked them clean while she watched over her shoulder, her eyes glazed. Then I dropped to my knees like a man ready to worship his god. Because yes, I would worship this pus sy like it was my god. **** After sacrificing her legs and her freedom to save a stranger, Cindy Hart becomes the crippled wife of a man who only loved her out of guilt. When he brings his ex into their home and throws Cindy aside, she decides she is done being the victim. With her billionaire identity hidden and her brother’s dangerously hot best friend pretending to be her lover, Cindy begins her revenge. But when the lines between fake and real blur with the playboy she once rejected, Cindy finds herself fighting not just for power but for a love she never saw coming.

Walang maramdaming kahit na katiting si Lucilia mula sa asawa. At kinamumuhian siya ng anak niyang lalaki dahil gusto nito ng ibang nanay. Hanngang sa mapagod at mapuno na si Lucilia ay nakipaghiwalay siya sa asawa. Iniwan niya ito. Umalis siya kasama ang anak na babae. Nagpatulong siya para ma divorce sa asawa sa pinakasikat at high paid na lawyer na si Donovan, na best friend ng asawa niyang si Nolan. Matagal ng gusto ni Donovan si Lucilia pero naunahan siya ni Nolan. Pero ngayon ay hindi niya na palalampasin ang pagkakataon na mapasakanya si Lucilia. Kaya gumawa siya ng kasunduan na tutulungan niya si Lucilia na ma divorce sa asawa kung papayag itong magpakasal sa kanya pagkatapos. Papayag ba si Lucilia? Makukuha ba ni Donovan si Lucilia? Abangan ang kwento nina Donovan at Lucilia...

TW: ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DARK ROMANCE, DADDY KINK. THERE WILL BE MM, MF, and MFMM sex At 22 years old, Alyssa Bennett returns to her small hometown, fleeing her abusive husband with their seven-month-old daughter, Zuri. Unable to contact her brother, she reluctantly turns to his asshole best friends for help-despite their history of tormenting her. King, the enforcer of her brother's motorcycle gang, the Crimson Reapers, is intent on breaking her. Nikolai aims to claim her for himself, and Mason, ever the follower, is just glad to be part of the action. As Alyssa navigates the dangerous dynamics of her brother's friends, she must find a way to protect herself and Zuri, all while discovering dark secrets that could change everything.