Best Funny Jokes Tagalog

In my past life, my mate Marcus ran off to the forest to make love with my best friend Scarlett, who was eight-month pregnant. That’s when they'd be surrounded by a pack of rogue wolves. Scarlett, heavy with child, started bleeding heavily. Both of them desperately called for the Border Guard. As the Chief Warrior, I had risked everything to fight those rogue wolves. But Scarlett still died along with her unborn pup. My mate Marcus led others to accuse me of using my position for personal revenge. He personally severed both my hands with a silver blade. "A warrior without morals like you deserves to burn in hell!" he snarled. But I remembered clearly—when I drove off the rogues and got the pack healer to Scarlett, she barely had a scratch on her. Finally, Scarlett's parents arrived. I begged them to examine her body and investigate the truth. Instead, they reported to Alpha that I had neglected my duties. They claimed I was high on wolfsbane while guarding the border. Alpha exiled me for fifteen years. With both hands severed, I had no way to fight or shift properly. I survived by begging scraps from neighboring territories. Fifteen years later, I returned to the pack. I saw my mate Marcus walked through the airport's first-class terminal with Scarlett and their son. They were using my inheritance to fund their luxury vacation to the Maldives. They spotted me. Without hesitation, they pushed me into a silver pit to destroy all evidence. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Scarlett faked her death. This time, I took one look at the scene and declared them beyond saving. I told my assistant to send them to bury them directly.

Isang kontrata ang magtatali kila Ysla at Nathan. Kasunduan na may hangganan at dahil lamang sa mga personal nilang dahilan. Si Nathan upang masunod ang kanyang lola at si Ysla upang makaganti sa kanyang fiance at sa mga taong inakala niyang pamilya. Paano kung magbago na ang pagtingin nila sa isa't-isa kasabay ang pagbabalik ng dating pag-ibig ni Nathan at pagdating ng mga problemang dulot ng pamilya ni Ysla?

"Don't deny it. You want it." Killian said to me, stroking the nape of my neck with his thumb. His face is so close to mine and I forgot to breathe. I gasped when he pushed my dress higher, revealing my thighs to him and let his hands rest between my thighs. I tilted my head to the side to avoid his lustful gaze, penetrating deep into my soul. "Your body craves it." He said, firing kisses down my neck till his lips touched my hard, naked nipples. That sent shivers down my spine. My body erupted with goosebumps and I exhaled sharply. I want to speak, but I can't. He has that much effect on me. His tongue played with my nipples and I mewled. That felt so good. "You want me as much as I want you." He whispered with his lips pressed on my skin. I shouldn't be doing this. I know I should stay away from this man but how can I when he invades my thoughts daily? When he's the only one my body wants. It's frustrating because no matter how hard I try, I can't say no to him. And I am this close to making the worst mistake of my life. I swallowed, trying to fathom the words out.His fingers brushed my core and I jerked forward, pressing my body on his. "I don't want you." "You're lying." He said, playing with the strap of my thong with a lazy finger. My eyes rolled back in my socket with pleasure. I am lying but he's making it so hard. "We shouldn't be doing this, Killian." Killian? Do I really have the right to call him that? "Give me one reason why and I won't touch you." "Because you're my best friend's Fiance."

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” his raspy voice dripped with lust and uncertainty as his eyes scanned my exposed cleavages, “your father…” “Shhh.” I stopped him mid-way, placing my finger on his soft lips, “We both want this. I have seen the way you look at me, Mr. Richard. Do not hold back now.” I whispered sultrily. He swallowed hard and I saw him clench his well-chiseled jaws. I opened my mouth to continue my protest when all of a sudden, he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me closer and covered my lips with his in the hungriest manner ever. My body melted, succumbing to his burning desire. *** He was my father’s childhood best friend. He was always there for me since I lost my mother at the age of four. My father grieved hard and found it difficult to recover for many years, so Mr Richard was the father figure I had. However, he left the country after my thirteenth birthday and I almost forgot about him until he returned. I had turned twenty-one and when I laid my eyes on him, all my childhood memories came rushing back. But that wasn’t all there was. I noticed how hot and sexy he looked for that age and how his gaze lingered way too long on my mature body. And then, fate kept bringing us together, all I had to do was call on him. He was just being nice, right? Nothing more should have happened but my body refused to listen to my brain. I wanted him! I wanted him around me all the time, I wanted him to whisper in my ears and punish me accordingly if I did something wrong… I wanted him INSIDE ME.

Nang malaman ni Marissa na ikakasal siya sa hindi pa niya nakikilala na groom. Labis ang lungkot niya dahil may boyfriend siya na mahal na mahal niya. Nagulat si Marissa sa sampal ng daddy niya at binantaan siya nito na papatayin ang boyfriend niya. Kaya wala siyang choice kundi sumangayon sa kasal na hindi niya inaasahan. May nalaman si Marissa kay Austin na lubos niyang kinatakot. Pero habang tumatagal natutunan na niya mahalin ang asawa niya. Magiging masaya kaya sila sa huli?

Kylie never thought she would end up falling inlove with her bodyguard slash soon to be brother. Taga bantay at driver niya lang dapat ito, pero nahulog siya sa binata, sinong hindi maiinlove sa lalaki? He's perfect! Para sa kanya ay perpekto na ito. gwapo, mabait, masipag at higit sa lahat matalino! Hindi man ito mayaman ay ayos lang sa kanya. Ang problema nga lang sa binata ay lagi lang itong seryoso. Bibihira magsalita na kulang na lang ay mapanisan ng laway. Masaya siya ng malamang may nararamdaman din pala sa kanya ang binata. Dahil gusto nga ng magulang nila na ampunin ang naging lihim muna ang relasyon na meron sila. Kaso wala talagang sekretong hindi nabubunyag nalaman ng parents niya ang relasyon nila. Dahil doon nagdesisyon ang mga ito na ipadala sa ibang bansa ang binata at kuya niya para doon ipag-patuloy ang pag-aaral. Hindi niya iyon alam. basta pag gising nalang niya kinabukasan. Wala na ang lalaking mahal niya iniwan siya ng walang paalam. Years past nakalimutan na niya ang lahat. Naka-move on na siya at masaya na ulit. Pero mapag laro talaga ang tadhana kung kailan ayos na siya bigla namang bumalik ang binata at hindi na ito basta basta dahil nalaman niya na isa na itong bilyonaryo. At ang masaklap pa, makakasama niya ulit ito sa iisang bahay at trabaho. What will she do? How will she deal with the man who broke her heart then?

Just when Elaine's husband, Tan De Marco, needed her most, she left him. Tangay ang limang milyong pisong hiningi niya bilang kabayaran sa "panahong nasayang kasama ito." After three years, Tan had moved on with his life and became a successful surgeon. Nalagay sa problema ang DM Textile-ang kompanyang pinalago ng Lolo Daniel ni Tan noong nabubuhay pa ito. The only way to save the company was to remarry his heartless ex-wife na hindi na uli nagpakita. Pero para kay Tan, mas gugustuhin pa niyang gumapang sa hirap kaysa maikasal uli sa dating asawa. Upon knowing about Daniel De Marco's will, Elaine reappeared and approached Tan again. Nagawan niya ng paraan para maikasal uli kay Tan sa kabila ng kaalamang wala nang pagmamahal para sa kanya ang lalaki. Elaine tried to do everything to win Tan's heart back. But her efforts were in vain. Until she met SPO3 Marco Figueroa who kept on saving her. Tan would be battling not only with the handsome cop but also with Elaine's painful past. May happy ever after ba sa dulo ng daan kung malalaman ni Tan ang totoong dahilan kung bakit niya ito iniwan tatlong taon na ang nakakaraan?

Blurb: Pakiramdam ni Graeson Santillan, may kulang pa sa sarili niya kaya hindi niya magawang magseryoso sa buhay. Kaya hinanap niya ang sarili niya. Nilibang din niya ang sarili sa mga babae, bar hopping, car racing at iba pa. Pero gano’n pa rin ang pakiramdam niya kaya nagdesisyon siyang sumama sa kaibigang si Isagani pauwi ng probinsya, baka sakaling mahanap niya ang sarili doon. Hindi niya akalaing magiging wild ang unang gabi niya sa bayang iyon. Isa yata iyon sa hindi niya malilimutang karanasan. Pero minalas siya dahil basta na lang siya iniwan ng babaeng nakaniig na nagngagalang Beth. Hindi pa naman niya nakita nang malinaw ang totoong itsura nito. Hinanap niya ito ng mga sumunod na araw pero walang nakakakilala sa kanya. Saka naman dumating sa buhay niya ang Ate Athena ni Isagani, na matanda sa kanya ng anim na taon. Ginulo din nito ang naguguluhang puso niya, na mas lalong nagulo nang makatanggap siya nang balita tungkol kay Beth…

Nawalan ng trabaho si Letisha Chayo Tuazon matapos magsara ang BPO company na pinagtatrabahuan niya. Habang ang mga dati niyang officemates ay nakahanap agad ng bagong trabaho, siya naman ay naiwan na walang income, baon sa utang, at hinahabol ng bills at loan collectors. Out of desperation, sinubukan niyang lumapit sa mga kaibigan, ang iba para singilin, ang iba para manghiram. Pero lahat sila, wala ring maibigay. Hanggang sa dumating ang isang offer na hindi niya akalaing tatanggapin niya: ang maging mistress ng nag-iisang Shaun Kamikaze Del Valle Siya ang taong pinakakinamumuhian ni Letisha. They met once before. Isang gabi lang. Isang pagkakamali na kumitil sa kanyang pagkabirhen, at pagkatapos noon ay iniwan siya ni Shaun na parang wala lang nangyari. Simula noon, isinumpa na niya ang pangalan ng lalaki. Pero ngayong lugmok siya, siya rin ang taong muling kahaharapin niya. Sa huli, Letisha was forced to be Shaun's mistress… kahit para kay Letisha, mas katanggap-tanggap pa sana kung maging legal na asawa na lang ang inalok sa kanya ng lalaki. "Be my mistress. Take it or take it?" — Shaun Kamikaze Del Valle

Love is more than just an emotion. You can feel it but you can't explain what truly it is. It just happened. It only takes a snap of fingers or blink of an eye to fall in love with someone. It do not require too much time to like a person.Two people with different set of attitudes destined to meet each other in a very odd situation. One is being already fallen and the other one is about to fall. One is already broken but the other one is still raw and whole. Yumi Illona Perez, a man-hater, who was stuck up in a situation of being the master of Rave Castillo, the Prime Master or popularly known as the Campus King of Kingston High University. Their ‘master-slave relationship’ all started with a deal. They made rules to keep the boundaries between them. But, it's true that love conquers all. It has no territories nor boundaries.Is there any chance that they will deeply love each other despite of their differences? He is sweet. She is bitter. He has a warm heart. She is cold-hearted. Love acts in a very strange way. So be prepared when you fall in love. “Is it necessary to love with a reason? If you love someone, then there should be no reason at all. Dahil kapag may dahilan at sa sandaling mawala ito, hindi mo na mahal 'yong tao. It is not called love anymore.”- Rave Castillo