Best Yo Mama Jokes 100

What was it like to grow old? Graduate college? Have a career in life? Get married and have your own family with your own kids? I am Celene Monte and I dreamt of those once maybe somewhere in my other ninety-nine lifetimes. Once the hands of the clock struck at twelfth midnight on the 22nd of April again, the day I turned eighteen, I died all over again and reincarnated to another world. And now this will be my 100th new cycle of life to live before turning 18. But I didn't knew that in this lifetime, new things would begin again when I met a crazy but famous lead vocalist of Dare, the Interhigh Academy's most famous band. And a very stubborn girl who was determined to beat Dare and dream to become the best band in the world. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wordcount per chapter excluding the Prologue: 1200-2000 words A/N: Happy Reading to all!

Eight years married, and my wife? She asked for a divorce 99 times. I thought it was just her usual drama—testing me. Then I found out she'd been wiring half a million every year to some dude. Always with the same note: ILU. When she hit me with divorce number 100, I finally signed. I pulled my money out of her little passion project and ghosted—moved my company overseas, wiped my tracks clean. Now she's out there losing her mind, trying to find me.

Lagi akong ikinukunsidera ng pamilya ko na tagapagdala ng kamalasan. Dahil ito sa nakikita ko ang countdown bago mamatay ang mga kamag-anak ko. Sinabi ko sa kanila kung kailan mamamatay si lolo, ama, at ina. Nagkakatotoo ito dahil sa iba’t ibang mga aksidente. Ang tatlong mga kapatid ko ay kinamumuhian ako mula sa kaibuturan nila dahil sa tingin nila isinumpa ko ang mga magulang ko at lolo. Ang nanay ko ay namatay matapos iluwal ang nakababata kong kapatid na babae, pero ang mga kapatid ko ay walang tigil siyang iniispoil. Sinasabi nila na siya ang suwerte nila dahil nagiging okay ang lahat para sa pamilya sa oras na iluwal siya. Pero hindi ba’t namatay si Ina noong iniluwal siya? Sa ika-18th kong kaarawan, nakikita ko ang death countdown kapag tinitignan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin. Bumili ako ng urn at naghanda ng pagkain. Gusto ko kumain ng huling beses kasama ang mga kapatid ko, pero walang nagpakita sa kanila noong nag zero na ang timer...

Deux frères Seth et Cynthia vont connaître les vicissitudes de la vie mais grâce au bien de leur mère vont bénéficier des grâces passés.

Sera, janda muda nan cantik mencari pekerjaan yang lebih layak untuk pengobatan anaknya. Sera berpindah dari perusahaan biasa ke perusahaan yang sangat megah, Sera berjuang dan berusaha mengumpulkan biaya untuk operasi anaknya dengan kerja keras dan rasa hormat. Tapi takdir berkata lain, Dia harus mendapatkan uang itu dalam waktu tiga hari, Apa yang harus ia lakukan?

Pito kami sa barkada: sina Laila, Janine, Eve, Alden, Dan, Jomari at ako —si Bianca. Sa maniwala kayo’t sa hindi, apat na ang nalagas sa amin matapos magpunta ng iba sa isang bulung-bulungang manghuhula sa University. Hindi nito hinuhulaan ang love life mo, o kung ano ang magiging career mo in the future, kundi ang petsa ng kamatayan mo at kung paano ka mamamatay. Sundan ang kuwento ni Bianca. Makatakas kaya siya sa kamatayan niya, o magaya rin kaya siya sa mga barkada niya? “BUKAS” na... Nakahanda ka na ba?

Bertemu dengan seorang Langit Anggara adalah petaka terbesar dalam hidup Asila Arya Kusuma. Langit datang seolah membawa cinta yang tulus, namun ternyata semua itu hanya permainan. Asila hanya di jadikan bahan taruhan oleh Langit dan teman- temannya. "Dalam waktu lima bulan, Lo harus bisa merenggut keperawanan Asila Arya Kusuma." Bunyi taruhan yang membuat takdir mempermainkan hidup mereka bagai rollercoaster.

When my best friend and I realized we had been reborn and traveled back several decades, we locked eyes, collapsed into each other's arms, and sobbed, shouting that we wanted to break off our engagements. The entire neighborhood whispered that we had lost our minds. But only we knew the truth. In our past lives, this was the day everything was sealed: she married a battalion commander, Ned Stark, and I became the wife of a high school teacher, Robbie Stark. My husband betrayed me. For the sake of that pretentious whore, Scarlett Wheaton, he stole my university admission letter and let her take my place on campus. The world mocked me as a failure, and Robbie stood by in silence. After we married, every time he touched me, he would immediately write another love letter to Scarlett—atoning for his supposed guilt. "Scarlett, even if I can't be with you in this life, my soul will always belong to you alone." Even my own child despised me, calling me an ignorant village woman, urging me again and again to divorce so that his father could be with his "true love," Scarlett. And my best friend, Rachel Croft—born the daughter of a factory director—was tricked by her husband, Ned, under the pretense of buying a house. He drained her savings and her wages for twenty long years. It wasn't until she fell gravely ill and went to sell the house that she discovered the deed he had given her was a forgery. The real house—the one paid in full—was in Scarlett's name. One of Scarlett's dresses cost more than my friend's entire monthly salary. When Rachel begged to reclaim what rightfully belonged to her, she was met only with contempt from Ned and her child. "All you ever care about is money. You're nothing like Scarlett, who isn't materialistic at all. Your illness is retribution," Ned had said. "Exactly. Only someone as noble and kind as Scarlett deserves to be my mother!" her child had said. Rachel and I both spent our lives working ourselves to the bone, only to end with nothing—dying bitter and broken from the injustice. But this time, fate has given us another chance. I will go to university. Rachel will become a wealthy woman. This time, without us paving the way, those shameless men and that wretched woman think they can still live happily ever after? Dream on.

When I was waiting for Theodore at City Hall from dawn to dusk, he was accompanying his first love on a hike. I called him dozens of times, but he rejected my calls instantly each time. He finally picked up on the twentieth call. "Why are you blowing up my phone when you simply didn't see me for a day? Why are you acting so desperate? Sammy's feeling unwell because of her heart and I still need to take care of her at the hospital. We'll talk later about registering our marriage." Ten years of love. This was the 100th time Theodore had left me alone in front of City Hall for his first love. I hung up and calmly tossed the wedding ring away. This marriage? I was done with it.

I, Isabella Norton, once made a promise with Julian Lawson, the billionaire CEO. After 98 proposals, he vows to appear at the doors of the city hall on my 99th attempt. But when the day comes, he doesn't show up. Instead, he brings his mistress, Natalie Mayer, to a concert. The sweet kiss they share under the camera's spotlight quickly turns into a trending sensation. At the same time, I also make headlines for turning up at the city hall for the 99th time. Speculations about the mysterious groom who never makes an appearance run wild. Everyone wonders when I will make my 100th attempt to propose. Out of guilt, Julian promises to show up next time when he realizes that I have carried out my promise. But when he finally arrives there clad in an impeccable suit, all he receives is a text message from me. "There won't be a hundredth proposal. It's over between us."