Black Humor Jokes

"How dare you?" Zack rages on, staring intensely at me, "How dare you bring back a bastard and try to call it mine! You have got some nerve coming here to tell me you're pregnant" "Zack please, it's not like that. The doctor said it was a mist.." I didn't even get to finish my sentence before he interrupted me midway. "...If it was a damn mistake like you claim then why did you even bother to come back in the first place. Why didn't you get rid of it?" My eyes widen at his words as more tears continued to trickle down my cheek. Did he just said to get rid of it? Just like that? ** After trying to conceive for her mate for so long, twenty two year old Meghan dream of becoming a mother come to pass when her doctor announced she was pregnant. Meghan joy was short lived when she was told her pregnancy was not for her mate. Meghan thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to her until she broke the news to her mate only to get rejected and thrown out of his life. Broken, unmated and Oregon, Meghan is left to fend for herself far away from everyone else, leaving her painful past behind. Six year down the line, Meghan is now living her best life with her twins babies and as a well sort after lawyer but soon enough, duty came calling and she is forced to return home where she would not only face her past once again but get a second chance at love again.

Christine comes home early from college to find that her mother shacking up with a vampire. After the initial shock, she is adamant to move to the coven where her new stepdad plans to change her mother into a vampire. Christine is skeptical, she is there to protect her mother from the dangers of a vampire because she doesn't believe in love. No, her love had cheated on her just weeks ago after she walked in on them doing it on their bed. Now Christine is stuck in a vampire coven, with other guys and girls who are experiencing the same thing she is. One of their parents changing into vampires all because the vampires say there is a 'soul bond' that connects them. Sebastian is hunting for his second chance mate after his first mate was killed before he could officially make her his. It has been five hundred years and he's lonely, tired of being alone. He isn't sure if he will find his second chance, but fate has brought him to the Black Raven Coven which looks like it straight out of 1950s America. What will happen when these two quite different individuals meet?

Three years ago, Caroline Hill married the man she thought could one day love her. Caroline believed that her arranged marriage to ruthless CEO Knoxx Wayne would eventually blossom into something real. She gave him her heart—only to watch him trample it. On the night of their third anniversary, Caroline’s world shatters. Knoxx arrives at the restaurant not for her, but for his ex-girlfriend, Dolly—dripping in the ruby necklace he claimed was for someone important. Her hopes, her dreams of a future with Knoxx, are crushed. But the worst betrayal is yet to come. When Knoxx accuses Caroline of cheating on him with another man—throwing incriminating photos at her—she realizes how little he’s ever trusted her. When love turns to betrayal, can the heart survive?

Camila thought she'd hit rock bottom when she discovered her husband's infidelity with her own cousin, but that devastating betrayal turned out to be only the beginning - a life-altering accident would soon strip her of her very identity. But when she was forced to fake her own death and assume a new identity, she realized she had been accidentally given a second chance. This new life came with a new discovery that Camila, the once shameful and disgraceful wife of the powerful Miller family, turned out to be a force to be reckoned with, a rival worthy of respect, and a woman not to be underestimated. Not even her husband stood a chance.

What happens when kindergarten teacher Nicola comes face to face with her high school bully, now a single father to her favorite student, Arabella? Cole Harrington never imagined he'd be raising his daughter alone after the tragic loss of his wife. Struggling to connect with Arabella, he's stunned to see her blossom under the care of her teacher, Nicola. Desperate to give his daughter the stability she needs, Cole proposes an unthinkable solution: marry Nicola, the girl he tormented in high school. Nicola is determined to stay professional, but sparks fly as old resentments and unexpected attraction collide. Can Cole prove he's a changed man and win Nicola's heart? Or will their tumultuous past keep them apart? Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of passion, redemption, and sizzling chemistry in this steamy romance where love might just heal old wounds and create new beginnings. Dive into the fun and fiery journey of Nicola and Cole as they navigate their way from enemies to lovers!

"I have to say I quite like the sound of my name on your lips," he bent over until they were face to face. He smiled at her as if to let that piece of crucial information sink in. Anelia's breath caught at his close proximity. "Come now, breathe Anelia. I have hardly started," butterflies and even more butterflies erupted in her stomach. Anelia Telford only cared about three things in her life; taking care of her sister, doing her job and staying off the radar. Being a loving and hardworking person she had no trouble keeping the former two in check. The latter? Well, that didn't exactly work out considering she ended up encountering a man whose comings and goings alone were a mystery at La Vida; the hotel she worked at. As if being manipulated by a whirlwind, her life gets entangled with Dexter Black's, a man she would have only used the words arrogant, annoying and sly to describe. But what happens when two people from two different tracks of life suddenly develop feelings beneath the dislike they have for each other? Will Anelia be able to handle the complications, manipulations and pain that come with loving a wealthy man such as Dexter. Find out in this heartwarming story where true love wins! *Unedited*

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT It was supposed to be a fun night. Ava and her best friend, Evelyn venture into The Fantasy Club to unwind after writing their final college exams. Things take a drastic turn when Ava gets out of control and begins to strip. She gets noticed by Ace, the leader of The Black Scorpion Mafia Gang, and from that moment, Ava's life as she knows it, changes.

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

"She thinks I deceived her. How would I tell her that she is the only person I have ever fallen in love with." ✧●✧ "L-leave me." She murmured as his proximity was making her senses erratic. "Because you don't want me."Only she knew the pain she felt while saying that sentence. "What if I say I want you?" His amusing smirk made her breath shaky. There was something changed in him but the eyes were the same as before. It was hard to find which side of him was true. "Why do you want me?" She wet her dry lips as he came closer tightening his hold around her waist. He chuckled at her sentence. "We are married." He said with an amusing smirk when he added. "I just realized that, I am married to the best person in the world who can fulfill my needs only." His black midnight eyes were getting darker.

For the last two years, Kane has been dreaming of the day when his mate finally turns 18 and they can finally claim each other. However, his world suddenly comes crashing down and his dream is instantly destroyed when the alpha announces that his son (Kane's mate) has found his mate, who is the daughter of a neighboring pack's alpha. However, he can't bring himself to say anything. He has kept this a secret for two years and he was waiting for another few months until his mate's birthday, but that day is never coming now. He can't stand seeing his mate with another, and he can no longer handle being in his pack. He can't let his father know either, since he is the pack's Beta. What can he do? The only thing that he can think of.... He will keep his secret and run as far away as possible. He will no longer be Kane, but he will become a new person, with a new name. Blake. That sounds nice. It also reminds him of black, which is what his past is now.