Black Humor Poems Novels & Stories

The table erupts in laughter, but I’m already vibrating, whiskey sloshing in the bottle as I slam it down hard enough to crack the glass. “Oh, that’s poetry,” I crow, voice pitching high and wild, bunny helmet spinning faster on my finger like a propeller. “I want that stitched on a goddamn patch—‘Left in a ditch with his own chain.’ Hell, I’ll mail their prez a bunny helmet engraved ‘Hop along, asshole, love, the Fallen Gods.’” I throw my head back and cackle, the sound bouncing off the rafters, and Caleb nearly chokes on his beer while King just shakes his head, grinning like he’s proud of the lunatic he’s allied with.

he walks away I let out a sigh Don't worry mum, I'll find you and am going to free you from him This monster, I hope you're still alive Roses are red And so are some lipstick My poems probably making you guys sick But once you see it you'll know you've come to the end of another episode You could do something better than reading it though Like maybe kissing Santa on a mistletoe Yeah you got me I just wanted a rhyme Thanks for reading my lines (see what I did there) If you laugh you'll surely die Sorry don't be scared I'm just kidding Am probably sure you're wishing for this to end

The asshole has the most poisonous tongue that I've ever heard speak and always knows how to render me speechless with the words he hit me with and how hard he hits. My two backups, Ivar and Henrik, are not with us, making me feel more vulnerable. "A hyena! A grinning hyena! I look like a grinning hyena when I laugh? C'mon bro, are you crazy? You couldn't compare me to a more majestic animal like a– a Lion? It had to be a Hyena!" "What!?..." He says, still chuckling. "You compared me to a pussy, chicken, and many more some minutes ago. They're not majestic so what's the big deal?"

His brother fell in love and finally became a comedian? Then Harold sent some jokes. Rhino saw the jokes and said to Calista, "Wanna hear a funny joke?" Calista was looking down and uttered,"Say." Rhino started to crack jokes. " A bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whiskey and … cola.' The bartender looked at the bear and asked, 'Why is there a big pause between whiskey and cola?' The bear shrugged. 'I’m not sure; I was born with them.' " Calista smiled faintly. But her upsetness hadn't decreased even a little. Rhino was disappointed again. He told a few more jokes like this. But still Calista was not smiling. Rhino's rhythm was sweaty. It seemed to him that he was giving a big exam

“I’m so-“ she tried again. But this time he put his hands on her lips and shushed her. “Except you give me blue balls, you don’t have to apologize shuga” he said in his best fuck boy accent. She laughed and then there were a few seconds of awkward silence. “I’ll try not to give you blue balls shuga.” She replied. His face broke out into a half smile. “Do you ever laugh?” she asked. “Only when hearing the screams of my enemies as I torture them shuga.” He was slightly offended that she looked a little horrified. Did she actually believe? When she finally replied it was with a “You have a weird sense of humor Mr Black.”

"Pregnancy has become disadvantage to you, Kitcat...I bet he'll tell you the grass is too green for you to step outside tomorrow." "Shut up, Liam. I'm not trying to make jokes." "And see...your pregnancy has become a disadvantage to me too...look at him snapping at me because of a fetus." "I'd advise you to shut your mouth, Liam...his face is getting red, it's about to swell...he's transforming into..." "Angry bird!" Liam and Fredd bursted out into hysterical laughing at their apparently funny joke...but Zillon didn't seem to find it funny, he was as serious as judge. "F*cking idiots..."