Can T Control Myself Novels & Stories

It would seize every opportunity to abet me to kill others or seize control of my body. I must always restrain my desires and impulses to keep myself from becoming a tyrannical sinner. I had forgotten what truly mine looked like. I try every day to appear decent, calm, and gentlemanly, trying to ignore my possessiveness and control and all my dark thoughts. I've restrained myself for eighteen years. I've gotten used to this life. However, every time I see my son, Mark, I lose control.

“He found me through the bond we shared, and it was terrifying to see that distance didn’t make any difference. No matter how far I run, they can always find me. I swore not to use the ability anymore because I don’t know how to control it. I’ve been trying to find a switch or something—anything—that helps me regulate it, but I don’t think there’s anyone who’s experienced something like this. So, I decided I would never let it happen.” “If you don’t know how to control it, why do you think you’d be able to stop it from happening?”

I wanted her and needed her in a way that was completely out of my control. "Damn it!" I growled, pushing away from the wall and running a hand down my face. I looked down at myself, my cock standing rigid, refusing to subside despite the icy water. My hand twitched in a fierce desire to release some of the unbearable tension but I forced myself to stop. "Control yourself, Nicholas. Get it together" I muttered, glaring at my hands clenched to my side, as though the command would quench my throbbing arousal. How the hell did I let myself go like that?

I added, waving Nikolas off. "What the-" I pushed at his arm, asking him to shut up as I try and talk with the kid, "So as you see, those people, they made me hate something about myself that now I love the most," I added, trying to make him comprehend it, "It's what some does, their insecurities push them to make you feel bad, about things that you shouldn't feel bad about, they do it only to satisfy themselves, it doesn't necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you," I added and he intently listened, needing to hear some encouraging words, "The thing you need to know is that you can only control your own behavior, " I shook my head, "You can't control other people's."

If I can’t control this— Then I control something else. The game. My future. My path. I double down. Because that’s what I know how to do. Because that’s what I’ve always done. But as I keep walking— There’s one thought I can’t shake. No matter how hard I try. I can control hockey. I can control my game. I can control everything out there. But her? This? Us? I don’t control that. And that might be the thing that breaks me first.

I made my way to bed, still thinking about how bold I was with Nathan. Despite feeling sexual arousal more often than I probably should have, I never did anything like that. I was never so forthcoming. I typically tried to control all of my emotions and have become quite well at it. I have to be, else I would be an emotional mess all the time. Most emotions I could control, but those on the extremes were much harder. The grief over the last year, for example, had been extremely difficult. If I didn’t use some sort of emotional control techniques, I would literally be a tornado of emotions all the time. Think of a moody teenager but on steroids. It would not be a pretty picture.

“All I need to do is start a little fire.” I chanted those words in my head until they became an illegible, jumbled mess. A little fire, key word being little. That meant I needed to control the surge of power that threatened to break free every time I used my abilities. The lack of confidence I had regarding my own self-control was astounding, and did nothing to settle my trembling hands.

I wasn't ready, I know I'm not and I'm still trying for her sake. "What? Is it something I did?" She sat up and reached for my hand but I pulled it away, unable to handle her touching me anymore. "Not it's … I'm just not ready." I sighed, pacing my floor in self anger. She scoffed a little which brought me attention to her. "I'm trying to be considerate and understanding but it's really hard, Azrael. I think this is the least you could do." There it is, manipulation. The very thing she uses when she can't have her way.

But it's not an easy thing without a process to realize. I stared frustratedly at her. "It's easy for you to say, but can you listen to me?" He was interrupting my reasoning. Atlas sighed softly. He seemed to be trying to control himself and compose himself. "It's not a matter of me not trusting you, Atlas. It's that I'm having trouble controlling my thoughts. Even if they don't notice me, I still think they're looking at me, teasing me, and I still feel the panic in the crowd because I've experienced it for years." my tone of voice was rising and slightly uncontrollable. "It's hard for me to be okay in such a short period of time."

We would have never stopped kissing if it hadn't been for my phone beeping. Where is my self control? Where is my shame? I am losing my head and act without thinking when it comes to Aiden. I hate myself for it. "Well, that was a moment of w… weakness," I stutter. "So, you are saying you are not weak now?" Aiden probes. I nod. "Yes, I've got a grip on myself,” I answer. Aiden leans closer to my desk, resting on it. He folds his arms over his chest, staring down at me.