Clever No Soliciting Sign Funny Novels & Stories

I failed my university's mandatory physical education class, but I didn't want to go for the training. Uncle Grant came and helped me, but I only did a few squats, and I could already feel my chest hurting so much. I fell right into Uncle Grant's arms, and I said, "No, I can't do this, Uncle Grant… Do you have any sports bras…?" My uncle's breathing became rapid, and he said, "Let me help you, Carmen." I didn't expect that the way he helped me was to use his hands to correct my posture from the front. As he squatted alongside me, it was only getting faster…

When my son was born, I noticed a small, round birthmark on his arm. But the weird thing? By the time I opened my eyes again after giving birth, it was gone. I figured maybe I'd imagined it. That is, until the baby shower. My brother-in-law's son, born the same day as mine, had the exact same birthmark. Clear as day. That's when it hit me. I didn't say a word, though. Not then. I waited. Eighteen years later, at my son's college acceptance party, my brother-in-law stood up and dropped the truth bomb: the "amazing" kid I'd raised was theirs. I just smiled and invited him and his wife to take their "rightful" seats at the table.

My grandmother only knows how to draw one thing—infants. They're ugly, but people line up to buy the paintings. I watch as she takes those women into unlit rooms. Then, their bloodcurdling screams will ring out. Oddly enough, they always thank my grandmother when they're leaving. One day, I finally find out what exactly my grandmother paints. I discover the truth when I see an infant crawl out of one of the women's bellies—it looks just like the one my grandmother has painted.

I was the sole front desk clerk at a haunted hotel. Welcoming players, checking in on the bosses’ quarters, and slacking off a bit were all part of the job. At least, that was what I thought. It turned out my days were far from ordinary. A blood-drenched little girl in a tattered red dress kept ringing the service bell. Her eerie voice echoed, “Miss, why didn’t you come play with me?” A creepy black cat with glowing eyes wouldn’t stop meowing and rubbing against my legs. And then there was the old woman with claws like knives, cheerfully knitting me a sweater… out of players’ skin. One day, I took a day off to care for my sick mother. That was my biggest mistake. The entire game instance erupted in chaos. Bosses interrogated players, demanding to know where their precious front desk clerk had gone. “Did she abandon us? Is she never coming back?” I ran. They chased. But no matter how fast I fled, their grip on me only tightened. In the end, escape wasn’t an option.

In my previous life, my best friend gave me a lock-shaped good-luck pendant. I never expected that once I put it on, it would never come off. Soon after, I came down with a fever that lasted seven days straight. When I finally woke up, everything in my life began to fall apart. Misfortune followed me everywhere. That was when I discovered the truth—I had swapped fates with her husband. He would get my wealth while I would get a short, ill-fated life. From then on, the two of them lived a life of effortless wealth, making money without even lifting a finger. Meanwhile, I sank into poverty, plagued by constant bad luck. I struggled through life and did not even make it to 30 before I was killed in a car accident. As I died, my mentally disabled younger brother cried out and rushed in front of me to shield me. However, he could not stop the incoming vehicle, and we died there together. When I opened my eyes again, I had been reborn back to the moment she was about to put the pendant on me. I let out a cold smile and pondered. Since she was so desperate to steal my wealthy fate, then she could have a XYY husband instead.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

I spent five years chasing Tyler Watson, only to get kidnapped right in front of him. He just stood there and watched. As a result, I suffered. After I escaped, he acted all high and mighty and proposed to make up for his tiny bit of guilt. The second we got our marriage certificate, the Simp System’s voice rang in my head. “Congrats, host! You’ve completed your mission.” Just like that, my sanity finally returned. While Tyler waited in a hotel for me to bring him contraceptives, I went live to expose his cheating. For good measure, I even called the anti-vice office to report my dear husband for soliciting prostitutes.

Twenty-six year old, Master William Gallagher, the last born in the Gallagher family of seven. The Gallagher family are the sixth richest slaver owners in Britain. Having land in Africa as well as multiple plantations in Britain. Master William is married and has a five year old son but that doesn't stop him from soliciting his maid. An innocent twenty-one year old, Panashe whose confidence is none existent because of the verbal, sexual and physical abuse she continuously faces in her day to day life. He took her virginity, he took her first , he took everything until she felt she had nothing to offer. Having to keep everything under wraps from his wife, family and society. Follow their ups and downs in this forbidden affair.

Blurb: What happens when a Queen Serpent falls in love with an Alpha running for the king? Her Nemesis and the creature who killed her husband? Serpent Queen Liza is funny, witty, arrogant, a little stubborn, and a bit short-tempered, but a cunning cobra with a golden heart. A shape-shifter, Queen Liza has been blessed with the power to guise into any living creature. Be it a vampiress or a she-wolf. Twenty and four, she thinks of herself as tough, bold, fearless, and rebellious who is complete as she was. It was until she stumbled into the arms of her sworn enemy. And she likes it. Alpha Ibhaan is the ruler of the Taksh peck. A thirty-something, he is a smart, powerful, intelligent, clever, and drop-dead gorgeous black wolf. His heritage, Taksh Pack, is magnificent. It is developed, rich, and famous among the 49 subcontinents Packs of Chaitali. The wolves are living ahead of time in a super luxurious and comfortable lifestyle with elective democracy. It has everything that Liza’s country lacks. But will she ever be able to cherish it with revenge and desire pumping in her veins? Recently, the government has taken over the Ahi-Empire, the country of serpents co-ruled by Queen Liza and her husband King Maurya, putting a full stop to age-old rivalry, and destroying her world. Will Ibhaan be able to resolve the conflicts between the two races when his conscience is repenting an age-old stigma? Chaitali is not as glorious as it appears on covers of the ‘Wolf-Street’. It has a history comprising a million mysteries.

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.