Contoh Stand Up Comedy Tentang Jomblo

“I love having you at my mercy... And you love it, too.“ Fabiola Brosnan had two goals! To lose her virginity and to find her parents before she dies. After being diagnosed with a brain tumor, she was determined to enjoy every second of her life. And that led her to spend a sizzling night with a handsome stranger. Only to discover that this stranger was Don Lorenzo Martini…one of the most powerful men in Spain. As if that wasn’t enough, he took her most precious possession and wouldn’t give it back easily. “Marry me and you will get your bracelet back…plus..I will offer you protection and everything you’ve ever dreamt of…what do you say?”

The Mafia Boss Kylo Lucian.Kilala sa pagiging mahigpit, malupit, at walang awa.Wala siyang pinapalagpas na atraso ng kahit sino man. Marami ang umaasa na balang araw kapag may napusuan siya babae ay magbabago ang pag-uugali niya.Magbabago ang  malupit na Mafia Boss.Subali't posibli nga ba? Kahit na parang wala itong balak na pumatol sa babae o mag-asawa? Akala ni Kylo ay hanggang hindi siya mag-aasawa ay walang makakapagpaikot sa kanya na kahit sinong babae sa palad nila.Hinding-hindi siya bibigay sa kahit na sino. Yan ang pangako niya sa sarili. Pero sino ba ang mag-aakala na hindi nga asawa ang makakapagpabigay at makakatunaw ng matigas na puso ng isang Kylo Lucian—Kundi isang 4 na taon na batang babae, anak ng lalaking nagkakautang sa kaniya na bigla nalang nawala.

Isa si Earl Miguel Avelino Concha sa hinahangaang bachelor sa bansa. Nasa kanya na ang lahat kaya naman maraming mga babae ang naghahangad na mapansin niya. Ngunit ang binata ay may mahal na at walang iba kundi si Caroline Velasco Abad, isang sikat na modelo. Ngunit lingid sa kanyang kaalaman ay niloloko lamang siya ni Caroline sapagkat mayroon talaga itong totoong minamahal. Natuklasan ito ng kanyang kapatid na si Claire kaya naman agad niya itong sinumbong sa kanyang kuya Earl. Hindi naman naniwala ang binata sa kanyang nakababatang kapatid sapagkat alam nito na hindi talagang gusto ni Claire si Caroline para sa kanya. Alam ni Claire na wala nang magagawa ang pagsasabi niya ng katotohanan sa kuya Earl niya dahil head over heels ito sa nobyang si Claire at saka magaling ding magpaikot ang huli. Kaya naman umisip na lang siya ng paraan kung paanong hindi matutuloy ang kasal ng kanyang kuya at ng nobya nito.

(SPG WARNING! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!) Matapos ang isang hindi inaasahang one night stand, nagkasalubong muli ang landas nina Mariah Isla Ledesma at Dominic Camero sa isang pagkakataon na hindi nila inaasahan. Inalok ni Isla si Dominic ng isang part-time job bilang personal assistant at driver, sa akalang siya’y isang simpleng lalaki na may sapat lang na kinikita sa isang araw. Hanggang sa tumagal, unti-unting nauwi ang kanilang boss-employee relationship sa pagiging fuck buddies. Ngunit ano ang mangyayari kapag nalaman ni Isla na ang lalaking pinapasahuran niya ay mas mayaman pa sa kanya? Could this be the beginning of a love story they never saw coming, or will unexpected challenges put their connection to the test?

I had it all planned out—my perfect life with a fiancé I was set to marry in a couple of months and a good job that paid my bills. But it all came crashing down when I caught my fiance cheating on me. And as if fate wanted to add insult to my injury, I lost my job the next day. Guess who I also ran into? Zachary Montgomery, my evil ex-boss. Despite our turbulent history, our connection was instant. Unexpectedly, he offered me a job, reigniting the sparks between us. I managed to maintain professionalism until he asked me to marry him so he could secure a contract. Now, I'm torn between the wild flames of passion that still exist and the heartbreak that still lingers from my rough past. Will I surrender to the allure of Zachary and the possibility of a new beginning? Or will I let my heartbreak dictate my future?

Satya Cordovez never imagined her simple life as a nanny could spiral into chaos overnight. It started with an invitation—an exclusive, high-society event na hindi niya dapat pinuntahan, pero sinama siya ng amo niyang mapilit. Sa unang pagkakataon, nakatikim siya ng mamahaling alak at sa sobrang saya ng gabing 'yun, she let her guard down. Lasing na lasing siya, her memories of the night a blur. Ang huling natatandaan niya ay ang mapanuksong ngiti ng isang lalaking hindi niya kilala at ang init ng kanyang tingin na tila ba siya lang ang nakikita nito sa buong kwarto. Kinabukasan, nagising siya sa isang kuwarto na napakalaki na parang kuwarto na ng isang hari. Napansin din niya na may suot na siyang wedding ring sa kanyang daliri. Sa tabi niya, naroon si Colter Alcazan, ang kilalang trillionaire na hindi lang makapangyarihan, kundi isa ring tanyag na bachelor na hinahabol ng lahat. “Good morning, Mrs. Alcazan,” bati nito sa kaniya na may confident na ngiti. “Wait, what?” Napaangat siya ng upo habang nanginginig ang boses at tinitingnan ang singsing sa kaniyang Daliri. “You’re my wife now,” sagot ni Colter, his voice dripping with authority. Satya’s life just turned into a whirlwind she wasn’t prepared for—and there was no way out.

Nelina and Royce met when they were both messed up. They promised themselves that being in a relationship was not their priority as they've experienced life's cruelty at a young age. Losing their prominent status, Nelina experienced bullying in school and had an abusive boyfriend. At the same time, Royce lost his grannies and was left alone. And when his then-girlfriend Roxie dumps him with no explanation, his life falls apart. However, they somehow grew affection for each other because they shared the same sentiment. But the past relationship's pain comes haunting them again when both of their exes came back at an unexpected time. How will Nelina and Royce step out from their shell and heal the wounds of the past? Will they give themselves a second chance to love again?

Isang mainit na gabi, ang unang pagkakamali ko. But the hell I care? Dinala ako sa langit ng lalaking iyun, magpabebe pa ba ako? sh*t gabi gabi kong hinahanap ang katawan ng lalaking iyun kaya gabi gabi akong bumalik sa bar para sa kanya. Doon ko lang rin siya makita sa bar sa gabi. Nanlaki ang mata ko ng makita ang news at nakita ko ang mukha ng ng lalaki, he's a billionaire!? the hell! may asawa ba yan!? Mabilis kong sinearch ang pangalan sa internet. Oh, single but delikado parin ang buhay natin sa lalaking iyan. Iiwasan ko na yan, hindi na ako babalik sa bar. Every night hinanap siya ng aking katawan pero tiniis ko lahat at ako nalang ang nagpapaligaya sa sarili ko. Hanggang sa nahanap ng lalaki ang condo ko. Umaga, tanghali, gabi man ginawa namin iyun pero syempre nagiingat kami lalo na ako! lugi ako pag may makatakas na sperm. Pag bumisita iyun wala kaming ginawa kung ang painitin ang isa't isa. Sa kusina, kwarto, sa hagdanan, sa sofa.. kahit saang sulok sa condo ko. Ngayon naiisipan niyang gawin namin iyun sa iba't ibang lugar, like beach, hotel at marami pa. Sino naman ako para tumanggi diba? argh! Pero hindi ko inakalang tumibok na ang puso ko para sa kanya. Hindi na ang katawan ko ang naghahanap sa kanya, ang buong pagkatao ko na. Delikado ako pero anong magagawa ako? napapasaya niya ako, hindi naman ako. Napapasaya ko rin siya. Fubu lang ang relasyon pero ginusto ko to, panindigan ko.

The day my husband left the country on a business trip with his assistant, I learned—by sheer accident—that his archenemy was plotting revenge overseas. Without a second thought, I raced to the airport and stopped him from boarding the plane. But his assistant went ahead, alone. And over there, she was killed brutally. Not a trace of her remains was ever found. When my husband received the news, he fell apart. Wracked with guilt, eaten alive by remorse, he spiraled into a relentless, violent mania. In the past three years, I'd been in and out of hospitals more times than I could count because of him. And this time, he pushed me so far—I lost our child. Then I overheard a conversation between him and his secretary. "Sir, Casey is still alive. Why keep pretending you're sick? Aren't you afraid your wife will find out and leave you?" "Leave me? What right does she have to be angry?" He laughed coldly. "If she hadn't stopped me from going abroad, Casey would've never been lured away by that bastard. Everything Linda's suffering now—she brought it on herself."

Alcohol and heartbreak are definitely not a good combo. Too bad I learned that a little too late. I’m Tessa Beckett and I painfully got dumped by my boyfriend of three years. That led me to get drunk at a bar and have a one-night stand with a stranger. Before he would see me as a slut the next day,I paid him for the sex and deeply insulted his ability to please me. But this stranger turned out to be my new boss!