Dad Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

As an ordinary human being on the earth, Tang Long was brought to the Cultivation World by a lost immortal, and relying on his amazing talent, he made it to one of the five emperors in that world. However, struck by Thunder of Nine Heavens, he lost his life. It was lucky for him to rebirth in the human world as an intern who was named Qin Haodong. With his excellent medical skills, he became a divine doctor of traditional Chinese medicine and a father of a baby girl, whose mother was as pretty as a fairy. The little girl even asked him to find more lovers. What a cute girl...

On my 18th birthday, my stepmother, Sheila Coleman, teams up with her secret lover, William Lynch, to kill me in cold blood. After that, she carves my femur into a bone sculpture and presents it to my dad as a gift. Dad loves the sculpture to no end. Thanks to Sheila slandering me in the past, he doesn't give a damn about me at all, even after finding out that I've gone missing. In fact, he even declares that he wants to cut off all ties with me. "Don't bring that brat up in front of me from now on! I hope that she dies out there!" But when he finds out that I'm really dead, he goes crazy from remorse.

Upon my returning from the special ops mission I took on three years ago, I open the door to see my fiancee, Erica Lewis, pregnant and holding a child. "This is your son," she declares as she passes the kid to me. I freeze in shock. My parents chuckle and explain, "You were gone for so long. Erica had to carry on the family name without you, so your older brother decided to help you with it. Isn't that great?" Just like that, I'm forced to be the officiant at the wedding ceremony I spent the last three years eagerly anticipating. I'm expected to stand beside Erica and my brother, Alex Sherman, to watch them exchange wedding rings and to see them kiss each other passionately. They have lied to all our friends and family, claiming that I couldn't have children. They humiliate me in public. They've also spent all of my savings and moved into the villa I bought using the monetary reward I got from the army after completing a deadly mission. Erica and Alex even lie on the bed I'd picked out myself and take intimate photos of themselves to send to me. "Don't be so sensitive. We're just helping you carry on the family name. Our kids are going to call you dad anyway." I give up. "Don't bother. It's over between us, Erica." After that, I call the army on the phone.

When Frank Zelhar, my best friend’s father, taught me how to drive, he told me to sit in his lap while he instructed me. Since the road was bumpy, I kept jolting on his body, and I could sense a hot, hard thing behind me. As I moved, it poked against me. He touched me on the pretext of helping me hone my willpower. When he touched my most intimate parts, I could feel a wetness coming from within me, and I knew that things were about to get out of control.

This is a seductive book with a lot of mixed up, wild and taboo smut stories. All stories here are a product of my imagination.

Aurelia had always hated the Thorne twins, and it was no secret. She hated the way they looked like she mattered only to pull the step siblings card… she hated the way they always had their stupid signature smirk on their faces whenever they pulled her leg… hated the way they knew how to pull the right strings to get her and most importantly hated the way, they acted like they weren’t watching that day, watching her as she climaxed alongside them. So no, she definitely didn’t watch them when they weren't looking and absolutely didn’t care who they were smiling at when it wasn’t her. Their friendly step- siblings rivalry had ended on her send off party and 20 year old birthday when she had confronted them and ended up in their bed… only to wake up to their leaked tape. They however did nothing but watch as her dignity was rubbed all over the ground. Five years later, she had moved on and built a perfect life with her 4 year old baby girl and her best friend from back home. Life was perfect until his proposal was interrupted by the Thorne brothers while she was on their cruise ship sailing to the city of her dreams to her dream vacation. It all happened in the blink of an eye and she had woken up to see that their ship was floating in the horizon, leaving them on an abandoned island with nothing but their clothes. Old hatreds ignite. Old secrets surface. And this time the twins aren’t just watching in secret like they had all these years. They’re here to finish what they started… this time they have no plan to let her GO…

"Fuck, you're so tight for me," Ryder growled against my ear, his hips slamming forward in a deep, punishing thrust that made my back arch off the bed. I gasped, nails digging into his shoulders as he filled me completely, stretching me. "Harder... please..." He pinned my wrists above my head with one large hand, the other gripping my hip hard enough to bruise. "You want it rough, baby? Then beg for it properly." My body trembled under him, slick and desperate. The words spilled out before I could stop them. "Please... Daddy... fuck me harder." A dark, satisfied rumble vibrated through his chest. He leaned down, teeth grazing my neck, voice low and filthy. "Good girl. Come all over Daddy's cock. Show me how much you need this.” *** On my wedding day, I caught my fiancé Dylan Voss and my step-sister Helene fucking each other in a room. Heartbroken and humiliated, I walked away from the altar. That's when Ryder Hawthorne—Dylan's powerful, ruthless stepfather—found me. He carried me to his penthouse, and in a haze of rage and need, I seduced him. We fucked like it was war: rough, and desperate. When Dylan walked in and saw me riding his stepdad—he felt betrayed and stormed out. I felt satisfied and vindicated. It was supposed to be one night. We were never supposed to see each other again. Until I desperately took a job at Hawthorne Prosperity Group to save my dying grandmother…and discovered Ryder was my new boss. One rough, forbidden encounter in his office, and he offered me to be his personal slut, in return he'd pay Gran's bills. I had no choice and accepted. Payback became obsession. My ex wants me back, but Ryder refuses to let go. Now I’m caught between revenge and surrender.

In the dark circles of the elite world, he is one of the Saints—most gorgeous, wealthiest, sexiest legacies of old money familias. Objectified and revered, they can do nothing wrong. In truth, Giancarlo Verrazzano came dangerously close to perdition before earning his title. He now lives a life forged out of this past, whilst staying away from its clutches. Then a young daughter of a family friend is sent to him to mentor before their families present her to society as the Von Schiller heiress. Elise is grown up, desirable and exquisite—it’s torment not to touch her. Everyday, he tries to protect her from himself. But when danger stalks her steps, sexual crimes of a serial killer persist and another Saint fixates on her, he gives in to his desires so he can publicly own her. He will do anything to shield her from the shadows that targets her as a result of his teenage obsession with her beautiful mother. Elise dreads the day she must face the world as a Von Schiller and she clings to the man whose blanket of protection has always kept her safe. If only she doesn’t want him, he wouldn’t drive her nuts! The nasty rumors about a dead ex should have repelled her, but Gian can never scare her. So when she finds out she resembles this ex and a sex club exist in her memory, she has to step back and see with unbiased eyes what kind of man truly lurks behind his beautiful mask.

Audrey has a crush on her best friend single father, Mr. Knight from a young age. She didn’t dare to tell him because Knight had always taken her as his daughter because of the huge age gap. At her 18th birthday, she finally had the courage to confess to him but shit hits the fan as she finds him kissing her sister. Feeling betrayed she heads off to college and tries moving on until he comes finding her…and this time he isn't willing to back down.

My boss gives me 200 thousand dollars in cash so I can pay his workers their salaries. I leave the house to buy some envelopes to put the money in, but that's when my father lends the money to our neighbor so they can buy a house. I question him about it, but he says I know nothing about forging relationships. Even my mother and brother blame me for not keeping my things properly—they say I'm dumb for leaving money lying around when I know my father likes to lend money to others. Later, my boss fires me but doesn't call the cops. All he wants is for me to repay him. To do so, my father finds me a high-paying job. It's only when I get there that I realize I'm supposed to be an old man's housekeeper. On my first day there, he violates me. I want to call the cops, but my father tells me to be forgiving of him. After that, the old man's daughter thinks I seduced her father and has me beaten to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day my father lent money to our neighbor.