Dark Humor Dad Jokes

Audrey has a crush on her best friend single father, Mr. Knight from a young age. She didn’t dare to tell him because Knight had always taken her as his daughter because of the huge age gap. At her 18th birthday, she finally had the courage to confess to him but shit hits the fan as she finds him kissing her sister. Feeling betrayed she heads off to college and tries moving on until he comes finding her…and this time he isn't willing to back down.

Every person is unique. We might not have control over the things that distinguish us, DNA and all, but we are also formed by personal experience and the environment that grooms us. Lina, a girl who is extraordinary, meets Ashton who is astounding and they have a connection. Although there are some puzzles that have to be solved and obstacles they need to clear, they get together to fight all those and still come out on top. They manage to restore some things that were changed in the past, took down a stumbling block that proved to be a big obstacle in their interaction. Facing all these troubles brought them closer and formed a formidable bond that proved hard to break through difficult situations. A love that managed to withstand the differences between them.

Book 1 - You'd better watch out. The danger is not just lurking in the dark. accompanies each of our steps. Instinct drives them.In a world full of monsters, there are those who are willing to risk their lives to save humanity from ruin. The hunters.After the trauma of her childhood, the ambitious young Grace decides that she will be one of those who hunt down the monsters and does everything she can to achieve this goal. She only wants one thing, to take revenge on the beings that her parents once snatched from her. But when Grace is forced to meet the grouchy Reese and his troubled brother Nick, she has to admit that the monsters of this world not only lurk in the dark shadows of the night. She is drawn into a vortex of intrigue, power struggles and greed for money and soon finds herself confronted with a creature that is more dangerous than anything known before.-------Book 2 - You'd better watch out. The danger is not just lurking in the dark. accompanies each of our steps. Instinct drives them.In a world full of monsters there are those who are willing to risk their lives to save humanity from perdition. The hunters.Finally, the years of hard work are paying off, Grace is officially a Venator and with Reese at her side she believes she can cope with anything that fate throws at her. But an unbelievable message from Jilin pulls the shadows from the past and stirs her thirst for revenge. Grace takes on this challenge and gets a stone rolling that cannot be stopped and slowly not only she begins to doubt her sanity.

May isang malaking organisasyon sa bansang Pilipinas na pasimuno ng lahat ng iligal na gawain kaya buong tapang na tinutugis ng gobyerno pero sa sobrang makapangyarihan ay hindi nila ito magawang mahuli. Ang mga matataas na opisyal ng pulisya ay kusa ng sumuko na hulihin at pakialaman ang sinasabing orginasasyon na kung tawagin ay Tushkin Mafia pero iba ang paninindigan ni Kiara Gallano. Kiara Gallano is a loyal police officer of the Philippines. Sumumpa siya sa bansa at sa sarili niya na gagawin niya ang lahat para sugpuin lahat ng masasama at iligal na gawin dito. And, when she heard about the Tushkin Mafia, she challenges herself to dig deeper even if her higher officials surrendered. As she investigate alone about the huge Mafia organization, she got to know an ordinary and low-key lawyer that she thought could help her upon investigating the Tushkin Mafia. Pinilit niya itong tulungan siya at nagawa niya naman itong kumbisihin. Sa bawat araw na magkasama sila ay napalapit na siya sa lalaki. She wants to protect him with all her heart, but what if she discovers his dark secret? Paano kung ang lalaking palaging nasa tabi niya siya ring lalaki na hinahanap niya upang sugpuin? Patuloy niya bang panghahawakan ang sinumpaang tungkulin o pagbibigyan niya ang puso? Can she accept the fact that she's falling for the Mafia Boss? She's falling for Xavier Jan Tushkin, the man behind those illegal doings in the nation she wants to protect.

"Aku akan menemukanmu. Tidak peduli berapa lama dan berapa kali mencoba, aku akan kembali dan mencoba lagi hingga semuanya bisa berakhir bahagia."

When the college admission notice arrived, I suddenly developed a high fever and was bedridden. My sister encountered a kidnapping on her way to help me collect the notice, and her life was uncertain. My parents hated me deeply. After tearing up my admission notice, they forced me to give up my studies and work in a factory. Later, I experienced a kidnapping as well. After narrowly escaping, I hid in an abandoned factory and sent them a message for help. My dad called me and shouted at me without restraint, “Lena, are you even human? How could you play such a joke on us on Jessica's memorial day!” “Do you have any idea how much your mom and I wished it had been you who died back then?” In my last moments before death, their insults echoed in my ears. I was tortured and killed, turned into a monster, and my body was thrown into a stinking ditch for three full days. Even my father, the most experienced forensic expert, couldn’t recognize me. When my sister returned home with the guy she eloped with years ago, my dad had just restored my appearance through technology. They knelt before my decaying corpse and cried until they fainted.

(21+) Harap bijak dalam membaca dan selalu berpikir positifRae Catalina adalah seorang perempuan cantik, yang juga merupakan sesosok pembunuh berdarah dingin. Tangan lembutnya yang terlihat lemah, ternyata mampu menghabisi siapa saja tanpa mengenal target buruannya. Karena satu dan lain hal, suatu hari ia terjebak oleh mangsanya sendiri. Dan hal tersebut, telah memaksanya untuk melakukan sebuah pernikahan dengan pria yang bernama Gerardo Ignacio.Laki-laki yang dimaksud, adalah seorang CEO dan pimpinan Mafia kejam yang menyukai hal-hal gila dan tidak pernah memandang sebelah mata siapa saja yang mengusiknya.Rae yang selalu merasa tersiksa dalam pernikahan palsu itu, akhirnya berniat membuat satu rencana baru untuk melenyapkan suami yang sekaligus adalah musuh baginya.Mampukah Rae menghabisi Gerando dan kembali pada hidupnya sebagai seorang pembunuh berdarah dingin? Atau, akankah ia tetap terjebak dan selamanya menjadi budak dari Gerardo?

"P-please leave me.. I don't even know who your brother is.. " Luciana He snickered at her helpless form under him completely at his mercy..."You don't have to know him baby.. I will make sure you will only remember me.. Your hell like husband " DamonWith his words he started his beasty acts not caring about how badly he tortured her... How badly he's damaging her soul... A pure broken doll who was already shattered inside and out.. Her only hope was someone to come and save her from the nightmare in which she was living...But like people say nothing happens according to your wish.. He came.. Not to end her suffering but to increase it.A beast.. Heartless psycho.. Mafia boss... and Her worst nightmare...Will she be able to make him believe her innocence or will he end up in a pit of her love... A love.. His crazy love for her which wants nothing but to make her...Damon's Possession...WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.. READ IT ON YOUR OWN RISK.

My father's adopted daughter was only locked in the cramped storage closet for around fifteen minutes, yet he punished me by tying me up and throwing me inside. He even sealed off the ventilation with towels. "As Wendy's older sister, if you can't take care of her, then you should also experience how scared she was," he declared coldly. He knew I was claustrophobic, but my desperate pleas for mercy, my terror, were met with nothing but heartless reprimands. "Let this be a lesson on how to be a good sister." As the last sliver of light disappeared, swallowed by the oppressive darkness, I struggled helplessly. A week passed before my father finally remembered my existence and decided it was time to end my punishment. "Let's hope this week served as a good lesson for you, Jennifer. If this happens again, you will no longer be allowed in this house." He would never know that I had already taken my last breath in that suffocating room. My body had begun to rot in the darkness.

Nia Ravanore found her mate at eighteen years old...... Alpha Dalton Howley and everything was perfect. But after six months of being together, she found him cheating with the Beta's sister, her supposedly friend. This was on the day of her Dad's funeral. It was the same day she learned how her father truly died and the same day that Dalton rejected her. - The lot abused her and forced her out of the pack. Anger, bitterness and hatred brewed in her heart, concocting a deadly agenda. Then she met the sexy Greek god, Lykoan Volkes. Mr. Mysterious and possessive who craves for the sparks they could create in his bed. Well, Nia's done with mates ― period! Tough for him! - When Dalton eventually comes begging for forgiveness and explains why he cheated on her, will Nia ever learn to forgive Dalton or will she move on to someone else? - Will it interfere with her plans for revenge? What choice will she make when Lykoan and Dalton are both hellbent on possessing her? - Find out in Dark Obsession for the Rejected Luna! - “Nia,” Lykoan cooed, lifting me from the table in a warm embrace. - Drained and defeated, I lean against him. - “When I come home, this is how I want to find you in my bed…fragrant and flavorful and begging for me…and when I finally let you have my dick, you'll have it over and over to the point where you'll be begging for me to stop." - A purr emanated from his throat. - Breathing slowly, I blinked wearily at him. - He chuckled, raking over the hair from my face. “For now, think about what makes you wet for me…think about why you cum for me…think about how you crave me…and dream of me while you sleep.”