Dark Humor Dad Jokes

Alpha Jordan’s Dark Obsession Blurb:  After being betrayed by her fiance, Denzel, Catherine Blackwood never expected her life to collide with Alpha Jordan's. She worked as an usher in an event management company, trying to cater for herself and her mother after her father died. But her mother was diagnosed with cancer and she needed money. Jordan offered to help but under the condition that Catherine have his pup. Jordan was a man haunted by the death of his mate, Archie. He swore never to love again and used women for fun. Yet when he met Catherine at the Alpha Ball, everything changed. Something about Catherine awakens the part of him he thought was long dead. But Catherine didn't seem to like him and his Beta made him believe Catherine was a rogue. He hated rogues and wished them dead, yet Catherine's scent called to his wolf and he wanted Catherine to have his pup. So when Catherine needed financial help, he knew that was the only way he could get her to have his pup. Will they eventually find love with each other? Or would their insecurities drive them farther apart?

Three years ago, Camilla had a one-night stand that left her with more than just memories—a son, Carlos, whose father vanished into the night. Now, her carefully constructed life is thrown into chaos when her mother, Elena, introduces her new fiancé, Emilio—the same man Camilla thought she’d never see again. Worse, he has no idea Carlos is his son. Torn between her love for her mother and the undeniable connection she still feels for Emilio, Camilla is pushed into a dilemma. Emilio, caught between his loyalty to Elena and his desire to be with Camilla and Carlos, must make a life-altering decision. As their dark past seems to threaten their future, Camilla must decide—can she risk everything for love, or will the weight of their shared secrets tear them apart forever? Will Camilla and Emilio find their way back to each other, or will they let the tempest rocking their lives hinder them?

(WARNING: R18. Contains shameless, explicit smut. Not intended for young viewers.) *** "Rune," Xavier called, his voice a low, throaty groan that sent heat straight to my core. "Baby, you don't have to do this." Determination surged through me, lighting my nerves on fire. "I want to." That was without a doubt. Even though I have no idea what the hell I'm about to do. I'm about to rely on the wild tales Marcella told me, and that one lesson with a banana. Fucking hell. I'm about to suck her dad off...using her own lessons! **** Rune Vitali is the poster child for "down on your luck." Out of a job, black sheep of her family, and mentally exhausted, the last thing she expects is to find her boyfriend cheating on her with his stepbrother just a day before she brings him home. Hurt and angry, she goes to a bar to drink her worries away. There she meets a handsome stranger. One night of hasty decisions lead to massive fallout. Not only was this stranger Xavier Creighton, the country's most popular and ruthless Criminal Lawyer, he was also her best friend's father. And her new boss. If her life was bad before, it's about to get even worse. How long can she keep her dirty little secret before her best friend finds out? Or before the scandal blows up and ruins her forever? She should stay away. But there's something about Xavier she can't resist. Something almost...supernatural. Like there's a force pulling them together, one she can't resist no matter how hard she tries.

Isabela Ledesma never imagined her life would take such a scandalous turn. Bagong sugat sa puso, matapos iwan ng kanyang first love na si Marco Villamor, napilitan siyang sumama sa isang blind date— at sa gulat niya, nauwi ito sa kasal kay Rafael Santillan, ang ama ng kanyang matalik na kaibigang si Rita. Isang May-December marriage na plano lang sana para maibalik ang kanyang pride at matiyak ang kanyang kinabukasan, ay biglang naging laro ng tukso at pagnanasa. Si Rafael Santillan, isang kaakit-akit at karismatikong bilyonaryo, ay iba sa kanyang inaasahan. Sa likod ng kanyang matipuno at sophisticated na anyo, nakatago ang isang lalaking hindi takot sundan ang kanyang lihim na nagpapalito at nagpapakaba kay Isabela sa bawat sandali. Mula sa awkward na simula hanggang sa mga lihim na sulyap at tensyon sa kasal, bawat eksena ay nagtutulak kay Isabela na balansehin ang kanyang pride, puso, at kaligtasan sa mundo ng mayayamang elitista. Magpapatuloy ba silang manatiling nasa ilalim lang ng kontrata, o haharapin nila ang apoy ng pagnanasa at lihim na damdamin na magbabago sa kanilang buhay magpakailanman?

Her ex boyfriend's Dad should be off limits. Dumped and heartbroken, Selena a 24 years old lady finds herself pregnant and falling in love, after a one night fling with ethan. Ethan a 49 years old billionaire who went through a dirty divorce, multiple betrayals, including from his own son, James. He is less interested in a relationship or having another child, but he can't stop thinking of her. Both being confronted by James and Selena's family, decide to live together just until after the birth of their child. This soon turns into a phase of undeniable love.

“If you will not let me go then I will free myself from this painful life. If leaving the palace is not an option then there is always an option of death and I have chosen it”. - Isabelle “Till now you have seen my love but now you will see the wrath of King Eric Leonor. I tried to be good to you but I think you will not understand the importance of my love without going through suffering and pain”. – King Eric Leonor Let’s dive into the journey of a merciless, cruel king and a common village girl. This is the tale of a ruthless tyrant, Eric Leonor, and his obsession which brought a drastic change in the life of the one whom he loves. Eric has fallen in love with Isabelle. She has become his desire and his need. What will happen to Isabelle who has caught the king’s eye? She is not only the king’s obsession but a slave in his harem too. She is vulnerable in front of the king and is forced to submit. Eric only desires Isabelle and Isabelle only wants freedom. Now will Isabelle ever accept Eric’s love or will she escape from the king’s palace?

“You want this cock, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice a dark rasp. "Say it." “Yes,” I sobbed, my body trembling. “God, yes.” ------ Chelsea Laurent caught her boyfriend in bed with her best friend. What she didn't expect... was to fall for his father. In an attempt to drink away her sorrows and spend the night with a stranger, she ran straight into the arms of a man whose touch promised the kind of ruin she craved. But before the night could turn into something irreversible, she found out he was no other than her ex boyfriend's father and fled his hotel suite, never expecting to see him again. Until she came face to face with her boss. The stranger from the hotel. Her ex’s father. Leonard Grey, billionaire, ruthless tycoon, and the most dangerous man she could possibly want.

The daughter of my father's first love suffered from heatstroke because she was left in the car, so he tied me up in a fit of anger and locked me in the car boot. He looked at me with utter disgust and said, "I don't have a vicious daughter like you. Stay here and reflect on yourself." I begged him, apologized to him, and pleaded for him to let me out, but all I got in return was his ruthless order. "Unless she dies, no one is allowed to let her out." The car was parked in the garage. No one could hear me no matter how much I screamed for help. Seven days later, he finally remembered me and decided to let me out. However, he had no idea that I had already died in that trunk and could never wake up again.

When my ex starts stalking me, I turn to the man I resented for years for help—a rich and private named Krew Selik. At first, I’m just a damsel in distress, and he’s a knight in shining armor, but our attractions are undeniably strong. I have grown to him that I’d never been with anyone, breaking me free from my own restraint. I soon find that he is not only my knight, and he’s been struggling to fight his own demons, haunted by his secrets until I become his light in the dark. When I thought that my life is going in the right direction, everything falls apart. Being with him comes at a price, and some secrets threaten to tear us apart.

My dad died in a car crash. On the seventh day after his death, I hear him whisper in my ear, "Amara, save your brother. There are cracks in the old stone bridge at the village entrance... It will collapse... He will die." I immediately call my brother, Asher Langford, and he takes a different route out of the village. But that afternoon, the police report that a murder took place on that road. The victim is Asher. My sister-in-law, Delia Winslow, and I bury him in tears. On the seventh day after my brother's death, I hear my dad's voice again. "Amara, keep an eye on Jasper. Don't go to the back of the hill. The dead trees there attract lightning... There will be a thunderstorm in three days." That night, Delia locks my nephew, Jasper Langford, inside the house. But three days later, Jasper falls from a window on the 12th floor. Delia goes insane after losing her husband and son consecutively in such a short time. Holding back my grief, I leave my own son, Billy Calloway, with my husband, Felix Calloway, and help Delia lay Jasper to rest. On the seventh day after Jasper's death, I see my dad holding Billy's hand and looking back at me with a sorrowful expression. He says, "Amara... There are spirits looking for substitutes in the reed marsh in the village. Take care of Billy. Don't go..."