Dark Humor Dad Jokes

After three years of secret marriage with a famous playboy F1 racer, Aria finally got pregnant. But she discovered that Liam was staying with his ex, who is also pregnant… She was heartbroken, and left the city to raise the baby on her own. 6 years later, while back in town, Aria ran into Liam as her new boss. Him: "I bought a mansion for our child. Stay."😳 Her: "Sorry, he has no father. "😒

Alpha Jordan’s Dark Obsession Blurb:  After being betrayed by her fiance, Denzel, Catherine Blackwood never expected her life to collide with Alpha Jordan's. She worked as an usher in an event management company, trying to cater for herself and her mother after her father died. But her mother was diagnosed with cancer and she needed money. Jordan offered to help but under the condition that Catherine have his pup. Jordan was a man haunted by the death of his mate, Archie. He swore never to love again and used women for fun. Yet when he met Catherine at the Alpha Ball, everything changed. Something about Catherine awakens the part of him he thought was long dead. But Catherine didn't seem to like him and his Beta made him believe Catherine was a rogue. He hated rogues and wished them dead, yet Catherine's scent called to his wolf and he wanted Catherine to have his pup. So when Catherine needed financial help, he knew that was the only way he could get her to have his pup. Will they eventually find love with each other? Or would their insecurities drive them farther apart?

Xavier Woods is a biker with a secret and an obsession with a woman he should not want but does. Rei Draven navigates the aftermath of an unexpected event, striving to rebuild her life. As a divorced mother of three, her world is shaken again when the man from her dreams appears and challenges her to embrace love. Can troubled soul Xavier mend Rei's shattered heart? What unfolds when love is presented unexpectedly? Will Rei take a leap of faith into love or run? Set in a small town, this is a love story between two destined individuals, the delicate balance of light and darkness, hope and despair, and the profound impact of love.

Aurora, an outcast omega with no wolf and no mate, is despised by her pack and mocked by her family. Her only desire is to belong, but instead of love, she faces hatred. Her life takes a dark turn when the Moon Goddess mates her to Kale, the arrogant and ruthless son of the Alpha. On their fated night, Kale rejects her after trying to take advantage of her. This shattered her heart and she flew for life when Kael sent werewolf to kill her. Fleeing for her life, Aurora crosses into forbidden vampire lands and is cornered. Just as death seems inevitable, she is rescued by Draven, the Vampire King. A powerful, cold ruler with no mate for over a thousand years, Draven feels an unexpected pull toward Aurora. Against vampire tradition and centuries of animosity between their species, he claims her as his mate, offering her safety and a chance at love. But peace comes at a cost. Aurora's hidden power, linked to her mysterious lineage, sparks tension between werewolves and vampires. The truth of her heritage exposes lies told by her pack, revealing that she is far more dangerous than anyone imagined. As both sides seek to destroy her, Aurora must navigate a world full of betrayal and war. With Draven by her side, she has the chance to rise and become a queen, feared and revered. But with enemies around every corner, will love be enough to protect her, or will the power within her bring about her downfall

Mature Content! When Valerie is kidnapped, in the late night by New York’s biggest drug lord and trillionaire for a crime committed by her twin sister. She isn’t prepared for the love drama, betrayal and love-hate situation that will come by being fancied, by a dangerous yet smokingly hot Donovan Castillo, a man who walks hand-in-hand with death! ~~~ Valerie Blackfield is an orphan, who dreams of living a simple life filled with love, and happy memories with the one she loves. But when trouble comes knocking at her doorstep because of her twin sister, all thoughts of living a happy life gets crushed at the interval of the big bad wolf, Donovan Castillo who drags her into his dangerous world. Donovan Castillo, is on the hunt to catch the woman who might be the reason why his step brother is lying in a vegetative state. But when he catches an innocent bunny instead of an assassin, he doesn't plan on becoming obsessed with the sister of his enemy. At first, it all started with a threat to kill her, but along the way, Donovan's cold heart was smitten by her innocent yet addicting aura, that would cause her death or the fall of his great empire. Forced into a marriage to tie her down with him, would marriage change Valerie's perspective of the man, who had taken everything and everyone she loved for his selfish interest? When the sins of his past come to play a vital role, would he set Valerie free of his dangerous entrapment to save her life, or would he do what he thinks is right and die alongside the love of his life? Let's read to find out! ~~~ A/N: Rated 18+. This book contains mature terms, read carefully!

"Five thousand dollars. I will pay you to have sex with me," I said to the handsome stranger. “Ten thousand dollars. I will pay you ten… No, fifteen,” At that moment, I just wanted to get laid. It was the only thing I could think of. “If you are still not fine with it... I will increase the money,” I whispered against his lips… ***** I caught my boyfriend of several years cheating on me with my own cousin. It already sounded bad, but ending up in bed with a hot stranger who turned out to be my ex-boyfriend's dad was even worse. Still, I'm not a woman who wallows in self-pity. I was going to use this to my advantage. I was planning to find my way into the handsome billionaire's life in order to get revenge on his cheating son, but the man beat me at my own game. Unexpectedly, he approached me first, asking me to marry him, upon our second meeting! The look in his eyes, his voice, everything about him screamed suspicious, but did his motivations matter? For now, not really. I was determined to make my ex-boyfriend pay for wasting my time all these years. I was going to make my cousin crawl at my feet and beg for my forgiveness...

She was betrayed by the only man she ever loved, kaya isinumpa ni Aleia Andrade na hindi na siya magtitiwala pa sa mga lalake. She also promised to herself, that she'll never fall in love again. Ang gusto niya na lang ay magkaroon ng anak, her own flesh and blood na makakasama niya sa kanyang buhay. With the help of her friend, pumunta sila sa isang club. Their plan is to look for a man that she can have her one night stand. There, she met a stranger, a handsome stranger she thought was perfect to fathered her child. Ginawa niya ang lahat para mapansin nito, and she succeeded. They both end up in bed that night, not knowing that the stranger she fucked is none other than the cruel, fearless, and cold hearted Mafia's Lord, Dark Levin Ferocci. Entangled in a world of cruelty and bloody war for power, Aleia never wished to be part of it. But, how will she able to escape the cruel Lord when he, after that night has marked her as his Dark Possession?

Rhiannon has her life all figured out. A loving father, a perfect boyfriend, and a caring best friend. She knows what she wants in life, that’s getting married to the man who is her mate. Everything changes when she meets Tristan, who is the darkest person she has ever met. She risks everything to be with him, but what happens when it turns out the person she is with wants revenge? For Tristan, all he wants is to make the man who took away everything from him pay for it, but what happens when love and feelings get into the mix? Can he go ahead with his plan?

(WARNING: R18. Contains shameless, explicit smut. Not intended for young viewers.) *** "Rune," Xavier called, his voice a low, throaty groan that sent heat straight to my core. "Baby, you don't have to do this." Determination surged through me, lighting my nerves on fire. "I want to." That was without a doubt. Even though I have no idea what the hell I'm about to do. I'm about to rely on the wild tales Marcella told me, and that one lesson with a banana. Fucking hell. I'm about to suck her dad off...using her own lessons! **** Rune Vitali is the poster child for "down on your luck." Out of a job, black sheep of her family, and mentally exhausted, the last thing she expects is to find her boyfriend cheating on her with his stepbrother just a day before she brings him home. Hurt and angry, she goes to a bar to drink her worries away. There she meets a handsome stranger. One night of hasty decisions lead to massive fallout. Not only was this stranger Xavier Creighton, the country's most popular and ruthless Criminal Lawyer, he was also her best friend's father. And her new boss. If her life was bad before, it's about to get even worse. How long can she keep her dirty little secret before her best friend finds out? Or before the scandal blows up and ruins her forever? She should stay away. But there's something about Xavier she can't resist. Something almost...supernatural. Like there's a force pulling them together, one she can't resist no matter how hard she tries.

Umalis si Elizabeth sa marangyang buhay sa Maynila upang takasan ang isang sapilitang kasunduan—ang pag-date kay Greg, anak ng pinakamayamang negosyante sa lungsod. Sa pagtakbo palayo, hindi inaasahang masisira ang kanyang kotse sa gitna ng isang liblib na lugar. Isang misteryosong lalaki ang dumaan at tumulong sa kanya. Tall, dark, and handsome—isang "prince charming" sa tunay na buhay. Pero hindi niya nakuha ang pangalan nito. Pagdating sa probinsya, ibinahagi niya ang kwento sa kanyang kaibigang si Monique, na agad nilang tinawag ang lalaki bilang "Prince Charming." Ngunit gumuho ang mundo ni Elizabeth nang mapagtanto niyang ang lalaking ito… ay walang iba kundi si Benedict—ang ama ng kanyang kaibigan. Isang single dad na hindi rin inakalang ang babaeng tinulungan niya sa kalsada ay ang magiging dahilan ng muling pagtibok ng kanyang puso. Handa ba si Elizabeth na mahalin ang lalaking hindi niya dapat ibigin? At kaya ba niyang ipaglaban ang damdaming maaaring sirain ang pagkakaibigan nila ni Monique?