Dark Humor Dad Jokes

"I've seen the way you look at me, I know you want me..." Jackson said while I gasped hard for breathe. He was right, I crave every part of this man but I can't have him. He's not only twice my age, he's also Arlene’s dad. She's my best friend and she would never forgive me… The first time Laura saw Jackson was on her sixteenth birthday. She had gone out with friends, hoping to get over her boyfriend, who just broke up with her. The moment she saw Jackson, she fell in love with him and wanted every bit of him. He seemed to notice her keen perusal too but she was only sixteen, and they were only able to share a few sexy glances. Laura left that night but never forgot him, she didn’t even get his name but his face and aura was registered in her being. Standing before her three years later, the memory and feelings gushed back. She still wanted every bit of him and more but the problem is, he is her best friend's dad, and also twice her age. Their love was against all norms and if made public, would make them face a lot of ridicule and backlash. What will she do? Will she sacrifice everything for true love or will she cave and back down?

Alpha Jordan’s Dark Obsession Blurb:  After being betrayed by her fiance, Denzel, Catherine Blackwood never expected her life to collide with Alpha Jordan's. She worked as an usher in an event management company, trying to cater for herself and her mother after her father died. But her mother was diagnosed with cancer and she needed money. Jordan offered to help but under the condition that Catherine have his pup. Jordan was a man haunted by the death of his mate, Archie. He swore never to love again and used women for fun. Yet when he met Catherine at the Alpha Ball, everything changed. Something about Catherine awakens the part of him he thought was long dead. But Catherine didn't seem to like him and his Beta made him believe Catherine was a rogue. He hated rogues and wished them dead, yet Catherine's scent called to his wolf and he wanted Catherine to have his pup. So when Catherine needed financial help, he knew that was the only way he could get her to have his pup. Will they eventually find love with each other? Or would their insecurities drive them farther apart?

"Five thousand dollars. I will pay you to have sex with me," I said to the handsome stranger. “Ten thousand dollars. I will pay you ten… No, fifteen,” At that moment, I just wanted to get laid. It was the only thing I could think of. “If you are still not fine with it... I will increase the money,” I whispered against his lips… ***** I caught my boyfriend of several years cheating on me with my own cousin. It already sounded bad, but ending up in bed with a hot stranger who turned out to be my ex-boyfriend's dad was even worse. Still, I'm not a woman who wallows in self-pity. I was going to use this to my advantage. I was planning to find my way into the handsome billionaire's life in order to get revenge on his cheating son, but the man beat me at my own game. Unexpectedly, he approached me first, asking me to marry him, upon our second meeting! The look in his eyes, his voice, everything about him screamed suspicious, but did his motivations matter? For now, not really. I was determined to make my ex-boyfriend pay for wasting my time all these years. I was going to make my cousin crawl at my feet and beg for my forgiveness...

She was betrayed by the only man she ever loved, kaya isinumpa ni Aleia Andrade na hindi na siya magtitiwala pa sa mga lalake. She also promised to herself, that she'll never fall in love again. Ang gusto niya na lang ay magkaroon ng anak, her own flesh and blood na makakasama niya sa kanyang buhay. With the help of her friend, pumunta sila sa isang club. Their plan is to look for a man that she can have her one night stand. There, she met a stranger, a handsome stranger she thought was perfect to fathered her child. Ginawa niya ang lahat para mapansin nito, and she succeeded. They both end up in bed that night, not knowing that the stranger she fucked is none other than the cruel, fearless, and cold hearted Mafia's Lord, Dark Levin Ferocci. Entangled in a world of cruelty and bloody war for power, Aleia never wished to be part of it. But, how will she able to escape the cruel Lord when he, after that night has marked her as his Dark Possession?

Rhiannon has her life all figured out. A loving father, a perfect boyfriend, and a caring best friend. She knows what she wants in life, that’s getting married to the man who is her mate. Everything changes when she meets Tristan, who is the darkest person she has ever met. She risks everything to be with him, but what happens when it turns out the person she is with wants revenge? For Tristan, all he wants is to make the man who took away everything from him pay for it, but what happens when love and feelings get into the mix? Can he go ahead with his plan?

After three years of secret marriage with a famous playboy F1 racer, Aria finally got pregnant. But she discovered that Liam was staying with his ex, who is also pregnant… She was heartbroken, and left the city to raise the baby on her own. 6 years later, while back in town, Aria ran into Liam as her new boss. Him: "I bought a mansion for our child. Stay."😳 Her: "Sorry, he has no father. "😒

Rose was an orphan girl. Enduring a painful past and a black heart. she never cared for anyone. Love, pity, compassion, conscience. Things you never knew. The orphanage was the only home she knew, she was incredibly beautiful, a devilish beauty, the blink of an eye, one that would make any man kneel to her. She committed every crime, and every sin, robbed, killed, and destroyed many homes. She loved seeing the pain in other people's eyes. She was a heartless beast. The only light in her life that could keep her human was her little sister Catherine, her little angel, the light of her life. The only evidence of her humanity, a part of her was still human, just because of her. Until the day she saw her sister's body, dumped in a garbage can. Revenge was burning her soul. The goal of her life became revenge. But she found it much more difficult than she expected, as her sister's killer was a demon, in every sense of the word. She thought herself a monster, but she was wrong, she was an angel to him. Leo, the killer of her sister, was the most feared man in the world, the leader of the largest gang. And the most feared mutants in the universe. And her heart, which never knew fear, became trembling before his eyes. She hated him and he hated her to the point of madness. A love story between two monsters. Blood, jealousy, and murderous obsession. A love that will not be recognized until death.

Orella Daria Maldini decided to marry Dante Laurenzo Ludovic after she found out that he had something to do with the incident that caused her brother's death. She also planned to take revenge and wanted to make Dante suffer until he finally died in her hands. During her revenge, she is assisted by a man who always wears a mask. Her revenge plan is always accompanied by enemy attacks that have targeted her. However, Dante always manages to help her, which makes their relationship even closer. Orella begins to doubt her revenge plan on Dante as she begins to fall in love with him. However, their relationship is interrupted by the arrival of Eliana Maria Nardo. She is Dante's ex and is obsessed with getting back together with him. She makes cunning plans to separate Dante and Orella, but all her plans fail. Instead, Orella realizes that she really loves Dante—until one day, a big secret is revealed. What is the big secret? So what about her revenge after Orella realizes how much she loves Dante?

This book contains sex scenes. Rated 18+. Andrew was the most ruthless Mafia boss. He was dark, could kill in cold blood, and only loved his three-year-old sister. He was one of the most deranged people on the planet, and he drove everyone away from him. On the outside, Ava was a strong, independent, and kind girl who didn't bow down to anyone, but on the inside she was broken. She was trying to get away from her past when she ran into him.  Would she give him permission to help her run, or did she fear that he would only further break her? Find out how shit goes sideways in this epic story of love, romance and revenge. ************************ NOTE..... This book also contains other Romantic mafia fantasy stories compilations. Rated 18+ Readers discretion is advised.

(WARNING: R18. Contains shameless, explicit smut. Not intended for young viewers.) *** "Rune," Xavier called, his voice a low, throaty groan that sent heat straight to my core. "Baby, you don't have to do this." Determination surged through me, lighting my nerves on fire. "I want to." That was without a doubt. Even though I have no idea what the hell I'm about to do. I'm about to rely on the wild tales Marcella told me, and that one lesson with a banana. Fucking hell. I'm about to suck her dad off...using her own lessons! **** Rune Vitali is the poster child for "down on your luck." Out of a job, black sheep of her family, and mentally exhausted, the last thing she expects is to find her boyfriend cheating on her with his stepbrother just a day before she brings him home. Hurt and angry, she goes to a bar to drink her worries away. There she meets a handsome stranger. One night of hasty decisions lead to massive fallout. Not only was this stranger Xavier Creighton, the country's most popular and ruthless Criminal Lawyer, he was also her best friend's father. And her new boss. If her life was bad before, it's about to get even worse. How long can she keep her dirty little secret before her best friend finds out? Or before the scandal blows up and ruins her forever? She should stay away. But there's something about Xavier she can't resist. Something almost...supernatural. Like there's a force pulling them together, one she can't resist no matter how hard she tries.