Dark Humor Dad Jokes Novels & Stories

he trailed waiting for Marcus to ask him but received an annoying groan instead, "Stop it Isaac it—" "Because he wanted to make sure he could reach new heights of helpfulness and climb to the top of the "dad of the year" charts!" Issac interrupted and laughed at his own dad jokes while Marcus rolled his eyes and muttered, "You never fail to amuse yourself, do you?" . Isaac shrugged and replied, "Hey, someone's got to appreciate my sense of humor, even if it's just me!" He then leaned back on the sofa, still chuckling to himself.

" Gabriel said laughing with tears rolling down his face. I couldn't help it and laugh along with him, trying to picture the whole scene. Moment later my dad walks out the back door. "Hey pencil dick! How's it hanging? Left, right, up or down?" Maddox says. Effectively causing me to choke on my lemonade. For the first time ever I swear I saw my dad's face turned bright red by somebody making a sarcastic comment that sounded like his own back at him. Which of course caused me to fall into a fit of laughter. My dad glared at me which only caused me to laugh harder. "What's so funny out here?"

My sister always got away with everything, so I naturally became Dad's favorite guinea pig to make an example of. When we were little, my sister refused to eat vegetables. He threw me into the bathroom, locked me in for five days without food, and starved me until I vomited blood. My sister was so terrified that she never dared to be a picky eater again. When we got older, she became obsessed with video games. Dad tied me to the computer and ordered me to play nonstop for thirty hours until my eyes bled. My sister swore she would never touch a computer again, and only then did he stop. Later, once puberty hit, my sister refused to wear thermal underwear. When Dad found out, he threw me

"Kaiden and Roman would have such a field day if they ever heard me telling something like that." "Well, good thing I'm not a dad. Hey, do you want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it." I choke on my own saliva in an effort to groan louder than Dad, but I have to admit mom's lame jokes are taking my mind off the stinging pain and desire in my body. "Then there's the one about the clown who visited his cousin in Austra—" Dad opens his mouth to cut her off, but he's interrupted by a loud banging on the front door.

He had done it completely behind my back, making him a culprit in my eyes, even if not in reality. "I know, right?" I chuckled, leaning in to press a kiss on Dad's cheek. "But sometimes he just acts like a bonehead." While Jacob and Clara burst into laughter, a deep frown settled on Dad's face, clearly displaying his irritation. "Excuse me, this foot massage doesn't give you the right to call me stupid. You won't be getting anything else as compensation," Dad retorted. "You're too cute," I laughed. "And you're too stubborn."

"I'm 47, not 50, so I'm not that old." Seeing his dad deny that he was not old when he looked like he was at least in his mid fifties , was funny to Liam. Liam couldn't help but laugh, but he stopped and covered his mouth when his dad darted his gaze to look at him. He darted his gaze and looked at Liam, and asked jokingly but with a serious face and tone, "Liam are you laughing at me?" "Absolutely not dad, why would i laugh at you? It's not even funny." Liam replied, putting up a serious face, "And you're not old, you know." Liam added, struggling to stop himself from laughing.

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperately said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

“I did too but you know what?” “What?” “When I was younger and I would get sad, I would think of the silly things my daddy did and it would make me laugh. My dad always had a way of making us laugh.” “My dad was silly too!” Precious exclaimed, excited they had something in common. “He once put ten marshmallows in his mouth at once.” “My dad could put a whole hotdog, with the bun, in his mouth. My mom would yell at him for being gross, but it made us laugh.”

“Daddy don't make fun of me. It's been many years since I am not come to this town. How can I find the bloody address?” “Hahaha! Even in childhood you used to make silly excuses like this. But my son you're not intelligent. You're still my silly son don't Forget.” He again giggles. "Ahh! Don't stop it. I am hanging out. Share the location." "Hahaha! But listen. Now, granny is better. So don't take too much stress, drive the car carefully." He hangout the call. Huh! my dad never misses a chance to make fun of me after all I am Mumma's son. My mother loves me more than him. Hahaha! That's why he jealous. LOL!

"Boys don't listen your father, I gave you better training than that. Take it easy on her, even if I need grand kids asap." "Like kidnap her and cage her here in our rooms till we give you grandkids." Damian jokes sharing a wink with his father. "Damian Christopher Adams!" Mum shrieks. Everyone laughs heartily as Damian clutch his stomach laughing loudly. "Mum you have got to see your face, you look white as sheet. Dad I think you need to breath life to her." Damon jokes. "I'll just let you boys get away this time and no punishments because I miss my babies." A wicked smile breaks off her face as she resumes eating.