Dark Humor Dad Jokes

One mate is a blessing, two are a curse, I've learned it all the hard way. My life was as perfect as a life could be. Never notice it until I've lost it all. I'm an alpha line that also has a loving, carrying high-ranking mate. Not to mention that I'm always praised for how I look. I was what every she-wolf dreamed to be. Well, all of that changed when a stranger visited our pack. My entire world froze when I spotted his seraphic eyes. I felt the same pull I've always felt toward my mate. yet, a bit stronger. A stranger who is no one but the Alpha King himself. My entire idyllic world fell apart as I wasn't able to decide. Should I give a chance to the new pull I'm feeling for the alpha king, or to stay loyal to the one who's always been by my side.

On a research trip gone wrong, Assistant Professor Patrina Warden is tricked and trafficked into dark elf territory. In their realm, humans are seen as exotic beings to be seduced, tamed, and bound. Nyxios, the charismatic and cunning Scion of House Keltos, uses allure and shadow magic to seduce Patrina into becoming his companion. As they play a game of power, humiliation, and submission, Patrina finds herself torn between her growing fascination for Nyxios and her fierce desire for independence. Will Patrina escape the seductive grip of the dark elf, or will she succumb to the intoxicating blend of love and dominance? [This closed-door romance is book one of a stand-alone two book duology. The second book will be called Midnight Crown. +The books may be read in either order].

Maya Rivers came to Eldridge Falls to disappear — to bury herself in routine, classes, and the quiet anonymity of the library stacks. But secrets don’t stay buried here. Not in the same town where her best friend Lena has already learned how quickly desire can ignite in the shadows. For Maya, it begins as a late-night confession whispered into the glow of her phone. A fantasy shared with a stranger. Harmless, she thought—until the fantasy steps out of the screen and into the library aisles. Now every night draws her deeper into a game of secrets and proximity, where rules are written in whispers and broken with a touch. The man in the shadows knows too much, appears too often, and echoes words she thought no one else could read. As Maya wrestles with temptation, danger, and the thrill of being noticed, her story begins to intertwine with Lena’s. In Eldridge Falls, boundaries blur, shadows stretch long, and desire has a way of pulling you past the lines you swore you’d never cross. Some secrets keep you safe. Others demand to be lived.

Lily lives in a refugee camp with her mother and father. One day, her father is approached by some men offering him work. He takes up the offer in the hope to provide for his family, but Lily never sees him again. Soon later, her mother is shot dead escaping some rapists in the woods. With both of her parents gone, Lily is left to fend for herself, dragged into the heartbreaking, brutal world of human trafficking, when she comes across a man named Lazarus Landucci.

It all started with Selene, a broken omega, and turned into something no one could have imagined. What began as a fight for control between five Ruthless Alphas has turned into something else. They are no longer just trying to claim her; they're going deeper, and it's making things complicated. But Malachi, a lost King, saw something else — a past life, a forgotten bond, and that she was rightfully his, not theirs. This changes everything. The truths they've kept hidden start to be uncovered, causing trouble in their lives. They start to lose their control, and now everything is at stake—her life, their secrets, and who she truly belongs to. But can she survive it all—or will Malachi’s claim destroy them and her in the process?

~Mature content ~strong language and sex scenes ~girlxgirl book ~~~~~~~~~ Love. Love is a powerful magnetic pull that pulls to opposites together. Love can be forbidden and destructive. But for Ashley and her stepmother Angelina Love is a forbidden obstacle course.

My younger sister, Angela Schrute, got married at 20. By 21, she already had a child. I'm Elizabeth Schrute, 27 years old, and still unmarried. Over the years, I've brought home a few boyfriends. But every time the subject of marriage comes up, my father, Michael Scrute, will take them into his study. I don't know what he said to them. But whenever they come out of that room, they will turn cold and frightening. It's like their hands are itching to wrap around my throat and squeeze the life out of me. My latest boyfriend thinks Dad is being unreasonable… until he follows him into the study. When he emerges, his eyes burn with rage. He breaks up with me on the spot and slaps me. Twice. I still can't figure it out. What is it that drives each of them away? And what secret is hiding in Dad's study?

"I am a monster, Miss Hart. You wouldn't want nor wish to see me..." He is mysterious and brilliant, wealthy and prominent, but no single soul has seen him in person. Well, no one should see him—that's one of his many rules. No one can touch him either; that's another rule. Except for me because I have broken every rule. Now I'm extremely drawn to him. His peculiarity is out of this world, and his beauty is beyond physical. But the Master has demons of his own and is being chased by his brutal past. Suddenly, we've become the reflection of each other's nightmares. I realize that the Master and I are not so different. Is this newly found bond just another uncertain fate that could deepen our wounds, or is it finally going to be our redemption?

Velia Argento has lived a sheltered life, fiercely protected by her older brother, Hardin. But when she unknowingly saves the life of Xavier De Santos—Venom, the Alpha and head of the notorious MC The Reapers—her quiet world shatters. Ruthless, powerful, and driven by vengeance, Venom warns her: "You should have let me die." Now, he won’t stop until he owns her, body and soul. Venom is a shifter forged in blood and betrayal, haunted by the brutal murder of his family. He has spent years hunting those responsible, and Dr. Antonio Argento is the key to unlocking his past. When he discovers Velia’s connection to the doctor, she becomes more than a distraction—she becomes his obsession. Trapped in his dangerous world, Velia is forced into servitude, her every move dictated by his unyielding commands. But as she fights to escape his grasp, Venom finds himself drawn to her innocence, her defiance, and the fire in her eyes. He wants to break her—but what happens when the fragile kitten begins to claw back? With enemies closing in, secrets unraveling, and a war brewing among the most powerful mafia clans, Velia and Venom are caught in a deadly game of power, control, and undeniable attraction. She was supposed to be his prisoner. Now, she might be his only salvation. 🔥 **Possessive Anti-Hero** 💀 **Dark Mafia Romance** 🔥 **Obsession & Revenge** 💀 **Spicy & Emotional**

In my past life, I was trafficked and gave birth to a son. When Noah Barrett turns six, I plan to take him and escape from the mountains. On my first attempt, I map out the route in advance and prepare to flee with him. But in the morning, my mother-in-law, Ruth Whitaker, blocks me at the door. She ties me up and locks me inside the shed. Then, she starves me for three days. On my second try, I secretly buy sleeping pills from an unlicensed village doctor and slip them into dinner. At the table, Ruth flips the table without hesitation and beats me until I am half dead. The third time, I take advantage of a village meeting and escape with Noah again. We hide in a concealed mountain cave. Neither of us makes a sound, yet Ruth finds us with ease. I am dragged back and locked away in the pigpen. Ruth takes a shovel and strikes me with it again and again. "You filthy bitch. You dare run off with my precious grandson!" Her eyes are bloodshot. With the final blow, she uses all her strength and smashes the shovel into my head. I collapse to the ground. My consciousness fades. My blood drains away, and I die. When I open my eyes again, I am back on the day I plan to escape the mountains with Noah. Suddenly, I can hear Noah's thoughts, his voice clear and dripping with viciousness. "Mom can't be allowed to run. Grandma says Mom is our family's slave. She's supposed to serve us for her whole life."