Dark Humor Dad Jokes

A cold and ruthless Mafia Kingpin, "kill or be killed" is what Louis lives by... Until he meets Sarina: a sexy, mysterious woman who turns his life upside down. Follow Louis's journey as he transitions from a young, teenage boy into a mob boss, as he is influenced by his crime lord stepfather Steve Sawyers. Watch Louis as he is thrown into a dark and dangerous world of drug smuggling, gun trafficking, money laundering, fraud, sex, psychopaths and murderers... There aren't any friends on these streets.

Mariana, a sweet bookshop owner in busy Mexico City, catches the eye of Amir, a dangerous mobster. Amir follows her everywhere, stirring up emotions that push her to the edge. In her simple life, Mariana becomes Amir's obsession. His strong feelings haunt her as he watches her every move from the shadows. Amir’s surprise visits awaken a powerful attraction, pulling her deeper into his world. Caught in a web of passion and danger, Mariana must face a man whose desires threaten to change her life forever.

On a research trip gone wrong, Assistant Professor Patrina Warden is tricked and trafficked into dark elf territory. In their realm, humans are seen as exotic beings to be seduced, tamed, and bound. Nyxios, the charismatic and cunning Scion of House Keltos, uses allure and shadow magic to seduce Patrina into becoming his companion. As they play a game of power, humiliation, and submission, Patrina finds herself torn between her growing fascination for Nyxios and her fierce desire for independence. Will Patrina escape the seductive grip of the dark elf, or will she succumb to the intoxicating blend of love and dominance? [This closed-door romance is book one of a stand-alone two book duology. The second book will be called Midnight Crown. +The books may be read in either order].

~Mature content ~strong language and sex scenes ~girlxgirl book ~~~~~~~~~ Love. Love is a powerful magnetic pull that pulls to opposites together. Love can be forbidden and destructive. But for Ashley and her stepmother Angelina Love is a forbidden obstacle course.

Three years ago, Adeline Wright tossed a stack of money at her boyfriend, Christian Shaw, broke up with him, and flew home to submit to an arranged marriage. Now, three years have passed, and Christian flies back to the country as well, right on the cusp of Adeline's wedding. The once-impoverished man turns out to be the heir to one of the most prominent families around—and is also a good friend of Adeline's fiance, Stanley Cooper. She dumped him, and he lied to her. That makes them even, right? Believing that to be true, Adeline is keen to keep her distance from Christian, who feels like a ticking bomb. Alas, step by step, Christian locks onto her, mocking her when he witnesses the way Stanley hurts her. The two pretend to be barely more than strangers in public while secretly engaging in a clash of wits behind everyone's back. The only person who knows the truth about their relationship asks Christian, "Do you seriously hate her that much?" Christian doesn't answer. Eventually, Adeline calls off the engagement, flies off to a foreign country, and becomes a war correspondent. Amid the gunfire, Christian appears once more. As the stray bullets whiz through the air, he shields Adeline beneath him, his eyes bloodshot. "Even if you're gonna die, Adeline, you're gonna have to die with me."

In my past life, I was trafficked and gave birth to a son. When Noah Barrett turns six, I plan to take him and escape from the mountains. On my first attempt, I map out the route in advance and prepare to flee with him. But in the morning, my mother-in-law, Ruth Whitaker, blocks me at the door. She ties me up and locks me inside the shed. Then, she starves me for three days. On my second try, I secretly buy sleeping pills from an unlicensed village doctor and slip them into dinner. At the table, Ruth flips the table without hesitation and beats me until I am half dead. The third time, I take advantage of a village meeting and escape with Noah again. We hide in a concealed mountain cave. Neither of us makes a sound, yet Ruth finds us with ease. I am dragged back and locked away in the pigpen. Ruth takes a shovel and strikes me with it again and again. "You filthy bitch. You dare run off with my precious grandson!" Her eyes are bloodshot. With the final blow, she uses all her strength and smashes the shovel into my head. I collapse to the ground. My consciousness fades. My blood drains away, and I die. When I open my eyes again, I am back on the day I plan to escape the mountains with Noah. Suddenly, I can hear Noah's thoughts, his voice clear and dripping with viciousness. "Mom can't be allowed to run. Grandma says Mom is our family's slave. She's supposed to serve us for her whole life."

My younger sister, Angela Schrute, got married at 20. By 21, she already had a child. I'm Elizabeth Schrute, 27 years old, and still unmarried. Over the years, I've brought home a few boyfriends. But every time the subject of marriage comes up, my father, Michael Scrute, will take them into his study. I don't know what he said to them. But whenever they come out of that room, they will turn cold and frightening. It's like their hands are itching to wrap around my throat and squeeze the life out of me. My latest boyfriend thinks Dad is being unreasonable… until he follows him into the study. When he emerges, his eyes burn with rage. He breaks up with me on the spot and slaps me. Twice. I still can't figure it out. What is it that drives each of them away? And what secret is hiding in Dad's study?

"I am a monster, Miss Hart. You wouldn't want nor wish to see me..." He is mysterious and brilliant, wealthy and prominent, but no single soul has seen him in person. Well, no one should see him—that's one of his many rules. No one can touch him either; that's another rule. Except for me because I have broken every rule. Now I'm extremely drawn to him. His peculiarity is out of this world, and his beauty is beyond physical. But the Master has demons of his own and is being chased by his brutal past. Suddenly, we've become the reflection of each other's nightmares. I realize that the Master and I are not so different. Is this newly found bond just another uncertain fate that could deepen our wounds, or is it finally going to be our redemption?

Sneak peek: "W-what are you doing?" I asked, my breathing getting heavier as his warm fingers inched towards my bikini bottom. "You called me a coward earlier, remember?" He asked, his other hand wrapped around my throat and lips torturingly brushing over mine "So let's see how much you can handle if I break the boundaries." "I haven't said anything wrong," I breathed out, the collision of the heat of our bodies made the wetness between my thighs build more "Oh really?" He hooked my legs around his waist leaving me surprised I opened my mouth to say something but before any sentence could leave my mouth, sliding past my bikini bottom his fingers were there on my bare clit and the next second they thrust inside the very tight hole of mine leaving me to scream. But everything went silent as he pressed his hot lips upon mine just as I had been wanting since the first day I had ever seen him. **** I always knew the things I felt for Jacob Adriano were wrong in so many ways. He was my dad's best friend, totally out of bounds but I couldn't stop wanting him. And once in the event of my dad's destination wedding, I came across him after years...I lost every one of the boundaries I had and surely I planned to make him lose his ones too. After all Jacob Adriano, the sinfully attractive Italian was not unaware of my obsession with him. But little did know that forbidden relationships always bring havoc and demolition.....

In a city plagued by constant terrorist threats, Aqsa Masood, a Pakistani emergency response specialist, encounters Kareem Ali, a captivating Arab security consultant with a dark past. When a series of bombings rocks their world, they are drawn into a dangerous covert operation that ignites a simmering tension between them. As they work side by side, their attraction becomes impossible to resist. A seductive romance unfolds amidst the chaos, tempting them to give in to their desires despite the risks. As danger looms closer, Aqsa and Kareem must confront their commitment to duty and the allure of their passionate connection. Will their forbidden love survive the darkness surrounding them, or will it consume them both?