Dark Humor Dad Jokes

"What are you doing?" She asked breathlessly as she placed her hands on the hard surface of his chest. "I don't want you to run this time." He responded. She could feel the deep rumble of his voice through his chest as she slid her hands down an inch over his pectoral muscles. It was an involuntary move but as she felt his chest flex beneath her touch, she couldn't help but feel proud that she caused a reaction in him. His breath fanned over her lips and subconsciously her tongue darted out to wet them. "You don't want me to run?" Juliet asked as she regained her footing, and he slid his hands up to her rib cage slowly. "No." His voice was hard and firm. "No running." "No running from what?" She knew what he was saying but she wanted him to do something about it. It was a burning need racing through her body. Her eyes closed as the tip of his nose brushed against hers. "Me." At that moment her world stopped, and she refused to wait a second longer. She eagerly pressed forward to grab his lips with her own. They were soft and warm, but she only had a moment to dwell on that fact before he kissed her back with a heavy passion. One of his hands left her side to weave its way into her hair, pulling her impossibly closer. ❤️ He was dangerous, she just didn't know it. He was willing to give up everything for her. All he wanted was a woman he could call home. What happens when she learns his secret? What happens when his secret risks her life?

[Warning this book contains strong sexual content and violence, readers discretion is strongly advised] Hallow Groove was a quiet and peaceful town until the enigmatic Lycan brothers, Lucian and Lucifer, descended upon it. Suddenly, death, chaos, and inexplicable disappearances become a daily occurrence. Alexandra, a young and ambitious journalist, is determined to uncover the truth behind the brothers' activities and puts herself in danger to do so. Delving deeper into the investigation, Alexandra begins to realize that there is more to these brothers than meets the eye. Lucian, the brooding and intense brother, intrigues her with his quiet strength and aura of danger. Lucifer, on the other hand, is charming and charismatic, and Alexandra finds herself drawn to their magnetic personality. Caught in a dangerous game of love and secrets can Alexandra navigate the complex relationship between the two brothers, each vying for her attention and affection while guarding their own hidden agendas and uncover the secrets behind the strange disappearances in Hallow Groove?

Erin Hill, a great man, was involved in an accident that changed his life. Now he had to battle with his wolf and fight for the love of his life. But the obstacles around were something he had to deal with. "I do not know who you are, please stay away from me!" Her confused eyes pierced his heart, he reached out to touch her but she flinched. "Amelia, don't you recognize me?" He said heartbrokenly. "Please leave me alone," She said, running away. With power comes great sacrifice! All that happened to him was not something he ever wanted. How dare toys with people. How will you feel when the world turns against you? What will happen to Erin and Amelia? Will they reunite or accept each other for who they are?

Amy's life had to change after Oliver, the vampire king, bought her in a girl auction organized by her father. Amy became enslaved in Oliver's pack because she refused to have her blood sucked. Oliver's cold attitude made Amy fall in love with him. Their relationship blossomed, but one obstacle after another came and was challenging to overcome.

"Have you ever loved me, even once?" I hummed when I herd that. Ridiculous. The tall man falling in a pool of blomanod. The scarlet stained his still perfectly delicate face. I never expected a proud Mafia King of all the underground, in the last few minutes of his life, would humbly say this insane words to me -- One who dreams of sending him to hell every day and night; one who could only become his eternal enemy. "No," I didn't spare even a glance to the man on the ground, replied ruthlessly and clearly in hatred, "Never."

COMPLETED ERICA Kidnapped-Sold-Caged. That’s what happened when I became careless & didn’t recognise the real monster in Armani, instead became Obsessed with his beautiful face & dark accent. Antonio Rossi. He bought me. Now I’m a captive in his billion dollar cage. It has everything but peace & freedom—two things I dreamed of since childhood. He’s ruthless in his quest to make me understand who’s the master of me. He said-I belong to him, that he owns me. He promised retaliation for every rule break. His touch meant for punishment burns me, leaves me thinking maybe he’s right which only makes me hate him more. But he forgot about my promise to him-The day he locked me in his cage I promised him, I’d make him beg on his knees & at the end of this nightmare I’d wake up with a smile on my face. ANTONIO Ruthless-Monster. I’m the monster nightmares are made of. The human part of me died long time ago, now I live for vengeance & blood of my enemy. I’m the real villain of this story. There’s nothing & no-one that would stop me from getting the blood that I was owed. Except her-And she tries. Oh, how she fûcking tries. She doesn't know that she's a pawn in my game. She's a collateral—a sacrifice I chose, but she hasn’t accepted it. She rattles the bars of her cage, disobeys me & earns a punishment for every insult she throws my way. The fight for freedom in her eyes makes me furious, it burns me. It makes me fascinated too-really not a good thing for her. Because if I cared then I’d make her a lifelong captive in my cage. Second Book- TRAPPED FOREVER-A Dark & Twisted Happily Ever After.

Rejected. Broken. Worthless. Jane thought the worst part of being rejected by her mate would be the heartbreak. She was wrong. When her own father—the pack’s respected Beta—stands before everyone and calls her a mistake, her world shatters. The man who should have protected her becomes the one who crushes her, branding her a stain on their family and wishing she had never been born. “You’re nothing but trash. A stain on this family.” Alone, humiliated, and stripped of her identity, Jane is left with an impossible choice: endure a life of rejection… or escape into the unknown and risk everything for a chance at freedom. When the people who were supposed to love you most become your greatest enemies— How do you survive? And how do you rise?

Marco de Luca is the youngest son of a very powerful family in southern Italy, dedicated to the sale of flats and large luxury houses, or at least that is what they say they do exclusively... Incredibly successful and attractive, he seems to have everything. He is about to marry the beautiful Greek daughter of another influential family and to take over his father's business. But unexpectedly he must go to Barcelona to meet a distant cousin to resolve hidden family matters, which will lead to the birth of an intense passion and the opening of a dark past full of secrets that he never expected to discover.

Everything happened too fast after I completed the sentence, one minute I was staring at the back of Damien's head, and the next minute I was pinned against the wall. His face was so close to me that I could feel his minty breath, "You can try to run but I will always catch you, you can try to hide but I will always find you. Get one thing clear, Nora, no matter what road you take it will always lead you to me." I licked my lips unable to utter any word. His thick eyelashes fell on my lips and my heartbeat sped up instantly. "Are you scared of me, Nora?" the corner of his lips curled up giving me a full blown smirk. I gulped, "No," the word came out weak between my shallow breaths. I tried to keep my face stoic even though my nerves were no longer in my control. I shut my eyes tightly as his face inched forward. I inhaled a sharp breath feeling his soft lips on my ear, "Then why is your heart beating so loudly?" ......................................................................... Eleanor has it all, loving parents, a good career, everything is presented to her on a silver platter or that's what everyone thinks. What happens when she gets tangled in a world she never knew existed because of a prince who seems to hate her but can not let her go. Will she ever be able to get her normal life back or will she become a part of his ruthless plan?

Imprisoned for years, Astrid Sterling burns for vengeance against the pack that executed her parents. But freedom comes with a cruel twist: she's fated to Kieran, the Alpha's son and her sworn enemy. Just as she grapples with his brutal claim, a second, profound mate bond pulls her to his enigmatic brother, Rhys. Forced to choose between them, Astrid's world shatters further when she unearths her true identity as a powerful hybrid, and discovers a third, forbidden mate: a Vampire Lord tied to her deepest secrets. Now, caught between duty, desire, and a thirst for truth, can she survive three fated bonds without losing herself, or unleashing a power that could destroy them all?