Eric Cartman Funny

When I have a pen in my hand and paper before me, I think I want to write something to cast every despair in my pathetic life away. I have a figure of a depressed guy whose fate is too much: saving the world. He is not stupid nor even smart, he is not ugly nor even good looking. He is just a nijikon (A person who loves an anime character more than the real one) like me. He once thought to give up on life, but an event changes his life. I'm sure you guys start guessing how the story goes, but too bad, this one is different than the others.

"You are nothing but a Sperm Donor." "But I am your Sperm Donor." After helping deliver dozens of babies into the world, midwife Anna Johnson is longing for her child. Since her luck has always proven itself unuseful in bed, she turns to sperm donation as one last futile attempt to have a child. The donor she chooses from the catalog seems to be the perfect match - cute, college-educated, creamy, topped with a pair of the most mesmerizing brown eyes she's ever seen. Little does Anna know that the man behind the file is entirely unaware of this whole ordeal, as a cause of a drunken dare. When Daniel Williams finds out about this, things are bound to go down. WATTPAD BEINGZANYAROSS

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

Victoria, "Tori", a young lady fresh out of nursing school landed her dream job at the prestigious Hidden Falls Medical Center. Her boss asks her if she would work at a home with a young man injured in a house fire. When she learns he is the next Alpha to the Hidden Falls Pack and all of her fears and anxiety returns. Memories of her mother taking her away from her father, an Alpha himself, due to infidelities and growing up with twisted horror stories of werewolves told by her mother just to keep her away from her father. Learning at a young age that she has a Genesis wolf, or healer wolf, but unable to shift, she decided to use her abilities to help others. Little does she know that her father has been searching for his little girl for seventeen years. After looking for her in every town, city, and even a few other packs, his Beta, Victor, and his Gamma, Eric, have stumbled upon her by sheer chance. Having known Tori when she was a little girl, Victor is excited and impatient to find her and bring her home. He is so close until he learns from Eric, who happens to be Tori's best friend's fiancé and mate, that she will be going to another pack, just out of reach. As her friend comes along to the pack as her assistant, she works with the injured Alpha, who turns out to be her fated mate, but later rejects her, she learns more about her abilities, and the power she possesses, and desired by the greedy Alpha who will stop at nothing to have her, even after rejecting her. But a second chance mate is ultimately her savior and has been with her all along.

"Why did you do this? Answer me!" Josh an easygoing guy who was immune to love because of how his father was being treated by his mother, decided not to fall for any woman. But, fate had its own cruel way of making him find love. "I don't care Josh, no matter what, i'm not like all women. I will still wait for you because i love you." Sabrina couldn't stop crying. Sabrina who fell in love with Josh after a crazy night in her car, meeting him for the first time couldn't stop loving him no matter how much red lights he showed about women. Will she succeed in breaking fully breaking down all the walls, he had already built, because of his past? Josh gritted his teeth in anger. "Why?...." Find out how Josh will have his revenge on the woman who took his life from him. His father. A story about betrayal, and a quest to win your lover's heart.

On my birthday, I personally prepare 16 dishes. After setting up the candlelight, I open a bottle of red wine. I take a photo and send it to my husband, Eric Sinclair. "I'm working late tonight. Don't wait for me," he replies. I choose to believe him. But after midnight, I notice an Instagram story posted by Shirley Huxley, his secretary. Eric was there with her, dressed in the trench coat I once gave him. They sat side by side in the VIP seat of football stadium where my favorite Super Bowl take place. Entwined in a passionate embrace, they kissed beneath a sea of shimmering lights and the roar of thousands of fans. That game is the one I have always longed to experience with him. I look down at the cold food on the table. Eric's words keep ringing in my head. "I hate kissing." "Marriage is a partnership, not about love and kisses." Though we've been married for ten years, we've never shared a single kiss. Meanwhile, he's out there, kissing Shirley openly and passionately. Despite it all, not a single tear falls from my eyes. The next day, Eric settles into his chair, completely unfazed. "Return the gallery to Shelly," he commands. I nod quietly, saying nothing. Suddenly, Layla Sinclair, my daughter, comes running down the stairs and throws herself into Shirley's arms. "Aunt Shirley, you're my favorite. I don't like Mom!" In that instant, it hits me—the home I devoted my heart and soul to means nothing anymore. It doesn't matter that I've been married to Eric for a decade. Now, all I want is to find myself again. I decide to accept an invitation from the Parisoir School of Fashion Design. From this moment on, I won't wait for them to come home, and I won't look back.

Teagan Miller was raised by extremely Conservative parents and grew up attending only the best Catholic Schools. She's just like any of her classmates with the exception of one big secret, she's a full out and undeniably gay ass lesbian. As she begins to start a new journey attending college it would seem she can finally be herself but will she ever really be able to escape her past? Coming out is never easy but it can't really be impossible right? Take a look into the diary of a closeted lesbian to find out.

Ava Adams tolerated living with her stepfather and her douchebag of a stepbrother. She lived her life being maltreated by them until luck smiled on her and she got a job to work in the Kings'mansion as a babysitter. She was glad to leave the hell hole she called a home. She got the shock of her life when she found out it wasn't a little boy she would babysit, but a grown up man. A very sexy, mouthwatering one at that. Fate brought Alexander King, the young billionaire and the master of the mansion to her. He got into an accident few years before and was not his normal self. What are you doing? Read more to find out how their journey of love began and who made Alex that way. Will their love prevail? Will Alex take revenge on those who made him that way?

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.