Eric Cartman Funny

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

【Two Male Leads + Power Dynamics + Slow Burn Romance + Corporate Warfare + 1v1】 "You came to kill me, didn't you?" "That was the original plan, but I've changed my mind." "Oh, what an honor that is." In game theory, when the sum of gains and losses among participants always equals "zero," it's known as a "zero-sum game," where cooperation between the parties is not possible. In the game of love, however, two initially opposing individuals repeatedly break the norms and find their way to each other. A mission sparks their complex relationship, with one falling first, and the other soon succumbing to the fall as well... *Dual-faced, affectionate mastermind ✖️ Undercover agent playing coy *1v1

A confident, tenacious luna (Monica), on a quest to avenge the death of her parents. Seeing the man responsible for the death of her parents a few years ago caused her grief. Avenging her parents and killing Williams; the billionaire werewolf was all she cared about. Falling in love was not part of the plan for Monica, her plans were to make Williams pay for the death of her parents years ago, that was all she cared about. But meeting the man in person gave her a change of heart. The spark of emotions between these two strong werewolves only exists for a short while. Good things they say don't last . “I am sorry, I hoped I listened to you when you said the pictures were all fake”. Words of billionaire werewolf (Williams) after standing right in front of his long lost mate and a mini-Williams. The secrecy and drifts were just too much for the couples to handle . But after sorting for the child in the picture for so long Williams is willing to try again. Only if Monica is ready to divorce the man she calls her husband.

"When I set my eyes on your beauty, I become like a vampire that is staring at blood." ~~ How about loving someone with great expectations that you will end up together with him but later on find out that fate has decided otherwise for you two? That he has to be a villain and you a hero? Lavina is very depressed when this happens to her but since a heartbreak doesn't mean the end of one's life, she decides to go on with her life. A life which is a cake with problems as a cream. A life in which her father makes a decision that makes his family a public enemy, every pack member wanting them dead and death remaining the only way out one could think of. At that critical moment, she meets Byron, a lycan who shields her out of kindness risking his only asset in life, his life. "You're my mate!" Byron whispers into her ears. Geez... They are mates trapped together in a swirl of hatred and mystries from centuries circling around them. Their packs have been rivals for a millenium. Only hatred towards each other was what their mothers breastfed them. 'If you find one of them kill him' was the motto that their fathers told them to learn by heart. Is he going to be her forever shield? Or he is going to turn his back against her leaving her inbetween the fangs of enraged wolves? What if Lavina finds out that Byron is the one who killed her twinsister? Will his protection still mean anything to her?

Jericho Astor, the youngest Astor brother and by far the sweetest of the three is a genius when it comes to anything technology—and when it comes to Odette Gibson. Odette Gibson, a cop who just happens to be Jericho's best friend probably knows Jericho better than he knows himself. It's what makes their friendship so strong, it's what keeps them bonded. But, there's a thin line between friendship and something a little more than that and Jericho has been straddling that line for years, until one day he found himself in the deep end drowning in feelings for her that she would never return. Or maybe she will if the hands of fate have anything to do with it... _____________________________ Read book 1: Gunnar, and book 2: Ace. If you don't read the first two books, the third won't make sense.

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Nicole Stanton, the richest young woman in the world, showed up low profile at the airport but she was immediately swarmed by reporters.Reporter: “Ms. Stanton, why did your three-year marriage with Mr. Ferguson come to an end?”She smiled and said, “Because I have to inherit my billion-dollar family fortune…”Reporter: “Are the rumors that you’ve been dating a dozen other young men within a month true?”Before the billionaire heiress could speak, an icy voice came from not far away. “No, that’s fake news.”Eric Ferguson stood out in the crowd. “I also have a billion-dollar net worth. Ms. Stanton, why don’t you inherit my family fortune?”

"What!" Ethan says in his all too familiar deep rude voice. "You hit me, which caused my coffee to spill all over me," I say, pointing out the obvious. "So, what do you want me to do about it," He speaks like he has done nothing wrong "You are supposed to say sorry," I say in a duh tone "And why should I." "Because that is what people with manners do." "I know that, but you don't deserve sorry from me." "Wow, really, and why is that." "Because black bitches like you don't deserve it." "I have told you times without number to stop calling me that," I say getting angry with his insults "Make me," Ethan says, taking a dangerous step closer to me. I don't say anything, but hiss and walk past him. I don't know why I even expected him to say anything better. It is Ethan, after all. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is a story about two people who knew how to express the word hate more than anything else to one another. Ethan hates Adina more than anything in the world and would give anything to see her perish into thin air. While on the other hand Adina could careless about Ethan other than the fact that she won't let him walk all over her with his arrogant character. What happens when a big incident changes all that. How do these two different people deal with a feeling that is supposed to be forbidden to feel for the each other. Read to find out how the person you hate the most is the one person you can love the most.

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."