Facefarting Stories Novels & Stories

" I brought my hand up to my forehead and delicately brushed it across the wound that was situated directly above my right eye. That wasn't a terrible one, but it was unmistakable nonetheless. I answered with a smile that was only half there, "Run into a door." She responded by saying "That's a lame story." "How about we hold these fights in underground cages then?" I recommended. She did not stop glaring at me the whole time. It wasn't as if I was going to tell her what had actually taken place, so I just made something up that was completely stupid. "In reality, I was taking on bears in a wrestling match." "You are such a lying piece of garbage."

But after a while, Nate got carried away and started to tell me some funny stories during his experiences at parties. "So there was this guy who was drinking his wine at the table while I was telling a story, I think he was Duke from another family." He started. "As you might know, I really hate it when someone does that to me, you know? Doing other things instead of paying attention to me." I scoffed at him. "In love with yourself much?" "Hey, if you're as good looking as me then you won't be surprised." He defended. "Anyways, while he was drinking, I decided to take that opportunity as I said, 'The more you talk, the thicker your double chin becomes'."

I froze, trying to keep my face neutral as I said, "Nothing." Her gaze snapped to me, narrowing dangerously as she said, "Adrian DeLuca, did you just fart in your hospital bed?" I rubbed a hand over my face and said, "It wasn't a fart, it was just air pressure." "Oh my God," she said, leaning back in the chair with mock horror while she tried to fight back her laughter. "You almost died two days ago, and the first thing you do when you wake up is gas-bomb me?" I fought back a grin as I said, "Hey, be grateful. That was a gentle one."

I made a crying face. He saw me and controlled his laughter and said, "Ok ok, I will tell you. You know you drank so much yesterday that you passed out and when I was carrying you back from the bar you opened your eyes, saw me and started shouting that you love me. And you told me to let you down on your feet and when I did, you started stopping people to tell them that you love me and then passed out again." He started laughing again recollecting those memories. "Really? I did that?" I asked embarrassed.

Kael leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, but his lips were curved in the faintest grin as Atlas launched into another ridiculous story. “…and then he actually fell face-first into the mud, screaming like a banshee, while swearing it was part of his ‘grand plan.’” Atlas slapped his knee, laughing too loudly at his own story. “I swear, I thought my ribs would crack from laughing.” Kael snorted. “You didn’t even help him out. You stood there and laughed until he nearly drowned.” Atlas gasped theatrically. “Excuse me, I was emotionally supporting him with my laughter.”

I like this aspect of this place because I can heat it up to my satisfaction so it suits my taste. “That’s one of the craziest stories I’ve ever heard.” I murmured amidst full mouth. Carol just told me of a time she wanted to confess her feelings to a crush of hers and ate something which upset her stomach earlier that day. I don’t need to add the details to let you imagine what happened next. Long story short, she farted during the confession, only that time, the fart was more solid and stained her undies. I try not to laugh. Talking about this while eating should be disgusting but I’m having the time of my life this hot noon! It’s allowed today. Just today.

Alaric says those words in such a hilarious way that I snort soda. "Sorry!" I shake my head. "It was just your face!" Alaric tilts his head. "What about my face?" I sink my teeth into my lower lip. "Nothing..." "I get it now—you're stalling! Tell me the story already!" "Okay, okay!" I take a deep breath, gazing deeply into Alaric's brown eyes ignited by candlelight. "It all began when I went to see this football game. I couldn't afford the ticket, and this beautiful man smirked at that fact and gave me a front-row seat."

he stopped and started laughing so hard that he was now clutching his stomach and struggling to keep up with his breathing. "Em pukes all over Cain's face non- stop like bwaa bwaa bwaa, so yuuck. While the other dude trips on Em's vomit while trying to help her. It was so gross but at the same time so exciting to watch. I'm telling you if I posted this on F******k daamn I would be famous!" Ace said finally wiping the sweat that had formed on his forehead after 'greatly telling a story'

“Viv, what’s going on with you? What are you laughing about?” She kept laughing until tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped the corners of her eyes continuously and tried to suppress her laughter to tell him, “I was joking with you. I heard a joke from my colleague today. She spoke about how fiancées are proposing break-ups with their fiancés. The fiancés answer with all sorts of strange replies. As a result, we made a pact to try it out with our partners when we got home.”

he told me, and I burst into laughter. "With this face? Isn't that hilarious?" I wondered. "What's so funny, bro?" he asked, surprised. I got up, cleaned my face with my palms, and said, "Everything's funny – the accident, seven years in a coma, and now making a public appearance with this face." "You aren't the first to have met this fate," he said. "Well, I know the Frankenstein monster did," I replied. "I'm not talking about movies," he snapped. "That's my favorite movie," I said.