Falling for my Saviour
I wiped my hand again and the cut stung and, then, I laughed once that wasn’t a laugh and realized I didn’t even know the shape of what I had become.
I sat back down and the chair scraped and then I stared at the floor and thought about the men who had died at the warehouse and, then, about the man who died still crawling and, then, about the look on his face when I pulled the trigger until the clip was empty. The memory of his mouth and the way the light cut across him kept returning and, then, I felt the heat behind my eyes and the line between being ruthless and being cold washed out like a river in a storm. I wanted to be one thing and I was another and, then, that made me angrier.
Chris