Filipino Funny Quotes

Kwento ni Calcifer at kung bakit gusto niyang mamatay.Si Calcifer ay isang kalahating demonyo at kalahating mortal. Buong buhay niya ay naghahasik na siya ng kasamaan at ang tanging nais niya lamang ngayon ay ang mamatay na dahil nagsasawa na ito sa kaniyang buhay. Ngunit malakas ang dugo ng kaniyang ama kaya siya ay naging isang immortal at ang tanging makakapatay lamang sa kanya ay ang kanyang tiyuhin at lolo, na si Hesus at ang Diyos Ama. Dahil sa kasamaan nito siya ay nakatanggap ng isang matinding parusa na nagpahirap sa kanyang buhay bilang isang demonyong walang sinasamba at ito ay ang magmahal sa isang babaeng handang makipagkita sakanya kung siya ay makikipag bible study sakanya.

Principal Rockwell isn't the only unusual thing at HG Wells Junior High school. The prankster strikes again and again and the inhabitants of the school are powerless to stop them.Till one day, they make a surprising discovery...Bullying beefs, jerky jocks and feisty kids.Hilarious pranks are made by the Prankster. Until what is thought to be a prank results into the death of a student and the incapability of the other. Hunter Zoey, Chirag and Josh do not believe these are mere coincidences.And they're all set to prove it

"You look tired and lazy. I think you're suffering from lack of vitamin me?" ~X~ Three words are enough to describe the playboy billionaire Alexis 'X' Montemayor who owns the very successful Club inside and outside the country. Hot. Dangerous. And oozing with sex appeal. He believed that he would never find the right woman for him despite having a random geisha in his very own Club-V. Not until a woman named Minzireth Paje entered his room and asked him if she is hired or not in the middle of what he called 'play time'. Lured by her sexy smile; piercing golden brown eyes; and voluptuous body, he hired her as his sex-retary. ***** Minzireth Paje is not your typical woman. Nagtungo sa siyudad upang maghanap ng trabahong makapag-aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan at matustusan ang gamutan ng kanyang magulang na may sakit. Ngunit nagbago ang lahat ng matanggap siya bilang sekretarya ng nagmamay-ari ng isa sa pinakasikat na Club sa Pilipinas. Buong akala niya'y more on paper works; answering calls; at tamang tayo lang sa gilid ng conference room ang kanyang gagawin. Not until her playboy boss, Alexis Montemayor demands her to do her assigned job. And that was to spice his night as his sex-retary. What if she found out what was her playboy boss's dark secret? Would she be able to fulfill her duty? Or resigned, and accept the fact that she is not qualified enough to be one of his sex-retary?

Kaitlyn Randall wakes up late and the first thing she does leaving her place, is almost throw her cold coffee on a cop car nearby with a handsome officer inside. To say the least, her day isn't going very well except for the eye candy. Especially when she shows up to work extremely late and has to clear out her desk. When she finds out later that her estranged father left her millions of dollars, she decides to go to Europe and take a well earned vacation after quickly buying a house. Once she is there, she realizes that it was all an elaborate scheme and now she is stuck in Europe by herself, without a single dollar to her name. Will a tall, dark and handsome stranger come to her rescue? Or more importantly, what will he want in exchange? See what this rich stranger has in store for her in A Day To Remember.

Aqila, gadis manja yang terpaksa menerima perjodohan dengan seorang CEO tampan-Azka. Awalnya tidak ada cinta di hati Qila, tapi seiring berjalannya waktu, rasa itu mulai tumbuh. Azka, yang menyimpan rasa suka tetap berusaha menutupi. Mereka saling menutupi satu sama lain. Perlakuan Azka yang terkadang membuat Qila merasa sangat kesal, malah membuat gadis itu merasa rindu saat Azka jauh dari dirinya.

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

Luka was the best Alpha the Brightwater Pack ever had. That is, until he loses his mate and everything comes crashing down. Having lost everything he loved and his one real reason for living, he attempts suicide on a human territory, when Victoria intervenes and ruin his plans. She makes it her duty to help the man that 'couldn't be saved', after he constantly refuses her help. What happens when she uncovers his secrets one by one? Will Victoria give up on him, or will she surprise them both? Who would've thought that she could save him just in the nick of time? Or does she....

Can a Christmas angel fix a meet-cute gone wrong? Memory Wilson is supposed to meet Dakota Brooks and fall in love. When a sudden gust of wind from a startled angel prevents that from happening, their paths never intersect. Can Memory's recently departed, beloved Grandma Helen come back to Christmas Falls, Indiana, in disguise and bring Memory and Dak together? Or will Memory's assumption that Dak is just a money-greedy real estate developer keep her from falling in love? If you enjoy sweet Christmas romances with heavenly themes, then you'll love Christmas Memory!

Algara Dwi Renaldo, cowok berparas tampan dan menawan. Namun memilik tatapan yang tajam seperti silet. Sikap cuek dan juteknya membuat Aletta Vanesya Unila gemas. Bukan menghindarinya malah semakin lengket. Tapi Algara tidak pernah memperdulikan Aletta, sedikitpun tidak akan membalaskan cinta kepada Aletta. Algara akan tetap membenci cewek itu, karena dia lah yang membuat Algara terkekang. Tidak bisa bebas. Selalu saja Aletta menganggunya, mengusiknya. Namun, ketika Aletta pergi jauh dari Algara, membuat cowok itu merasa kesepian, ada yang aneh dalam dirinya. Seharusnya ia happy karena pengrusuh sudah lenyap dari pandangannya. Setelah mengetahui apa yang terjadi pada Aletta, Algara benar-benar menyesalinya. Bagaimana ceritanya? Ayok baca

Ketika kasih berlabuh pada orang yang salah. Memendam dan mengungkapkan akan menjadi opsi mutlak yang harus dipilih. Gadis polos yang tergila-gila akan sepak Bola. Nascherly Aurora Oshi, itulah namanya. Ia adalah gadis bar-bar yang akan bertransformasi menjadi gadis manja jika bersama Bian. Lyshi hanya gadis biasa yang diliputi keberuntungan. Beruntung karena bisa bersahabat dengan Bian Putra Mahadewa. Lelaki sedingin es dan sehangat pelukan jika bersama Lyshi. Dua insan berbeda gender yang menjalin hubungan persahabatan, istilah klisenya friendshit. Tapi, bukankan hubungan friendshit selalu berakhir sama? Mari kita lihat akhir dari hubungan Lyshi dan Bian. Akankah berakhir bahagia? Atau malah sebaliknya. "Bian! Tungguin Lyshi!" gadis itu berlari mengejar lelaki di depannya dengan napas terengah-engah. Bian berhenti, kemudian menoleh ke arah Lyshi. Melihat itu Lyshi langsung berlari dan mencengkeram seragam bagian belakang Bian. "Bian! Kamu tuh jahat banget, masa nyuekin Lyshi terus dari tadi. Dasar manusia jahat!" cerocos gadis berambut panjang itu. Tangan Bian terulur menghapus bulir keringat di dahi Lyshi. "Udah ngomelnya?" Lyshi mendengus kesal. "Belum. Lyshi nggak akan berhenti ngomel sebelum Bian nurutin permintaan Lyshi," ujarnya bergebu-gebu. "Kamu mau apa? Yakult? Novel? Baju? Bakso mercon? Kucing?" tanya Bian menyebutkan hal-hal yang disukai Lyshi. "Nggak. Lyshi nggak mau itu." Dahi Bian berkerut, "Terus maunya apa?" Lyshi menatap maniak hitam Bian dengan serius. "Lyshi cuma minta Bian selalu ada buat Lyshi. Bian nggak boleh pergi ninggalin Lyshi apapun yang terjadi," tuturnya mengangkat jari kelingking. Bian meneguk ludah kasar melihat raut keseriusan di mata Lyshi. "Siap!" timpal Bian mengangkat jari kelingkingnya, lalu menautkan dengan kelingking milik Lyshi. "Tapi aku nggak bisa janji, Ly. Aku takut kamu yang akan pergi ninggalin aku setelah kamu tau semuanya," batin Bian