Food Jokes

I am Seranda Williams the uwanted, born from a lineage of slaves, embedded with the mark of Zeranda cursed god of the souls of the dead. A plague waiting to be eradicated. a plague waiting to be destroyed, a celebration at my death, festivity at the sight of my blood. I stare from the open bars of my home, a crumbling place known to others as a dungeon, but I have called this place home for the last 18 years, today is that day, the long-awaited day of my death. I feel nothing, I have been groomed as a sacrificial lamb. am neither the first nor will I be the last, it will soon be time. Nothing is there to be felt, I was neither provided information on why I must die, nothing could break me. No, they can't…can they? Neglected separated front all. Groomed as a sacrificial lamb, what was there to hope for? I am not the first nor will I be the last, it will soon be time. I have lived off scraps of food for the longest time, not like I saw meaning to why I was fed. I was going to be killed either way. I got myself ready, but there wasn't much to be done, I washed my hair with the little water left from the previous day, I have been isolated from humans since my birth. I did not get the chance to be a child like every other kid out there. I was barely given enough to last me for 18 years. The door abruptly opens and hefty men rush in with chains and shackles. “Tie the slave”

Two weeks before our wedding, Jonah Alston suddenly wants to postpone it. He says, "Sasha says she's having her first exhibition on that day. She'll be alone during the opening, and I'm worried she'll get stage fright. I have to help her. We're just going through the motions with the wedding, anyway. What does it matter whether it's a day earlier or later?" This isn't his first time postponing our wedding for Sasha Lester's sake, though. The first time he did it was because he claimed she missed having homecooked food after undergoing surgery. He'd flown abroad to care for her for two months. The second time was because he said she wanted to head into the mountains to get inspired. He'd gone with her out of concern for her safety. Now, this is the third time. I hang up and look at Austin Everett, my childhood sweetheart. He sits across from me, looking leisurely as he taps his emerald-embedded walking cane on the marble floor. I ask, "Do you need a wife?" On my wedding day, Sasha holds up her glass and waits for Jonah to clink it with his. However, his eyes are red as he watches a livestream—it's the wedding of the scion of Everett Group, the country's largest property development company.

Born into a family of culinary royalty, Aria Beaumont has always lived in her father’s shadow — a feared food critic whose name alone can destroy chefs. After getting fired for calling out wrongdoing in the kitchen and catching her boyfriend cheating on the same night, Aria runs into the arms of a mysterious stranger and had a one night stand. When she enrolls in the prestigious Étoile Culinary Academy to rebuild her life and career, She never expects her mentor for the training to be Leon Cordon; the reclusive, world-famous chef who vanished from the culinary world after the tragic loss of someone he loved. And she definitely never expects him to hate her on sight. He recognizes her last name. Her family is his sworn enemy. He recognizes her from the one-night stand and refuses to mentor her. She recognizes his arrogance and was determined to bring him back to the culinary industry. Just as their forbidden connection becomes impossible to deny, the academy sends them on a month-long culinary retreat — isolated, breathtaking, and filled with ghosts of Leon's past. There, Aria learns that the culinary world’s greatest tragedy…may not be what it seemed. A past thought buried will return. Loyalties will break. A rival chef will step into the scene. And Aria must decide whether following her heart is worth losing everything she has finally begun to build.

While Adrian was out negotiating a partnership, Vivian slipped nuts into my food — the one thing she knew I was deathly allergic to. I broke out in blisters all over during the negotiation, making a scene in front of everyone. But Vivian didn't care. She pulled me aside and sneered, "You, Luna, spoiled as you are, just stay there and be a pretty face. Leave the real business to me and Adrian." I lost my temper and slapped her hard across the face. The next second, Adrian appeared in front of Vivian, pulling her into his arms. The look he gave me was pure reproach. "You're the Luna — is this how you treat your own pack members? Vivian didn't do it on purpose. Why are you making her life difficult?" Vivian pressed herself against him, eyes wide and glistening. "Luna, I know I'm clumsy. You're not really going to hold a grudge over something so small, are you?" That night, he didn't come back to our hotel room. I sat on the bed and waited until dawn, tears streaming silently down my face. Through the mate bond, I could feel exactly where he'd been — with Vivian, the entire night. He'd already betrayed me. Numb with heartbreak, I picked up my phone and called Alpha’s father.

“I, Alpha Draco of the Peony pack hereby reject you, Helena, as my mate. I refuse to have anything to do with you anymore. You will be banished from this pack, never to set foot on this land anymore or you will pay for it with your life” his thick voice boomed through the cold and dark cell where I was kept all day with no food or water. My chapped lips parted painfully as the flesh drew each other tightly. I couldn’t even beg or plead for mercy. It was a miracle that I was not even killed because I was probably the most hated person in the pack at that moment. He didn’t allow me to utter whatever I had in mind before he turned his back on me. My finger grazed his cold hand as I tried to hold onto him, I was late. The warm eyes that had always behold me now look at me with disdain. There was no hope anywhere, his extreme sadness was visible even through his back as his footstep retracted into the long distance. At the loud clunk of the prison’s door kissing its hinge, my whole world crumbled. The only thing left in me was the small life breathing in my womb, something Draco never knew of. Right there, I made the resolution to live for my baby and find out the truth behind what happened in the pack that night.

I could hear the thoughts of the poorest girl in the entire school. At our campus ball, she deliberately ate food that contained nuts to give herself an allergic reaction and blame me for it. With tears streaming down her face, she cried, "I know you don't like me! I know you look down on girls as poor as me, but you can't bully me like this!" Everyone believed her and turned on me, including my fiancé, Mark Hawkins, who was expected to form a political alliance with my family through our engagement. He pinned me in place and demanded that I apologize to the 'victim'. I shook my head, trying desperately to explain that it was not me who put the nuts in her food. That was when I heard the thoughts of that 'poor' girl, Alice, ''So what if she's the mafia don's daughter? I still brought her down. Being defended by her rich, clueless fiancé feels incredible!' I was stunned. Before I could react, Mark pushed me to the floor and said firmly, "Helen, apologizing won't kill you." A disbelieving laugh slipped out of me. I wondered if he would still say the same thing if he could hear Alice's thoughts. When I finally gained the ability to share the thoughts I heard with someone else, I chose Mark without hesitation.

Everyone has gathered around to play games together. The current game requires all players to transfer red wine to each other via our mouths. Before my fiance, Teodoro Lamperti, is able to transfer the wine to me, his female best friend, Cristina Ghedini, shoves me away before kissing him on the mouth right away. "What are you doing? Today is Serafina's big day, you know!" Teodoro might be complaining on the outside, yet he's patting Cristina gently on the back. The atmosphere in the villa becomes eerily silent. Everyone stares at me as I sit on the floor in a wretched manner. Cristina merely smiles nonchalantly. Then, she leans against Teodoro's shoulder. "Don't be so petty, Serafina. Teodor and I are as thick as thieves since we were kids. We're used to sharing everything together." Teodoro begins advising me as well. "It's just a game, Serafina. You've always been gracious, haven't you? Don't act like a sore loser." Everyone thinks that I'll explode into rage and flip the table of food over, like I had done in the past. But this time, I just draw to my feet and take off the engagement ring. Then, I slide it onto Cristina's finger. "This ring is yours now. Congratulations on your marriage. Remember to invite me to your wedding."

After my rebirth, I decided to draw a hard line between myself and the heir of the Mafia Family, Carlo Gutierrez. He had his golden retriever take my seat and told everyone I wasn't even fit to touch dog food at his party. After that, I never sat at the main table again. He complained that my voice was giving him a headache and got in the way of his business, so I muted myself in front of him. He sneered that I reeked, so I packed up and went back to my rundown apartment in the slums, never setting foot on his territory again. In the end, he said just having me around would ruin his marriage alliance with the Moreno Family's Principessa. I nodded, then accepted someone else's proposal without hesitation. I made the choices opposite to what I made in my last life. After I married him in my previous life, the Moreno Family's Principessa was killed in a shootout. Carlo concluded I was the culprit and threw me into the basement for torture before finally throwing my body into the sea. Later, when he saw me with another man, he confronted me with red eyes. "Rosa Shaw, you've had your fun. Come back with me, and I'll pretend none of this ever happened!"

Sara Atkins just wants to start anew. No Noah anymore. No food technology. No worries about love. She just needs a breeze of fresh air. An opportunity presents itself when Sara finds out about Beaumont, one of the biggest money companies in the US, who are searching for another accounting assistant. Miraculously, the Austrian girl is hired the day she gets interviewed, even if a bit too easily in her opinion. They had warned her about new position and her boss, however, she hadn't understood why. Until she met him. Mr Beaumont isn't only a tyrant, a brooding and yelling boss who hates tardiness and self-doubt, but also the most handsome man Sara has ever laid eyes on. Imposing, tall and handsome, the soon 30-year-old has already forced his way into her life. Cold, too witty for his own good, stern and unpredictable, this CEO is causing Sara way more trouble than she had anticipated - Mr. Beaumont makes her working day a living hell, makes her face countless of obstacles and plays with her mind as he pleases. Her cheating husband is enough headache as it is, but now Sara can't stop thinking about her boss who has been strangely nice to her, even though she can't stand him ... or is she just lying to herself?

“Do you feel that, Rose?” He asked in a gruff tone. “The effect I have on you is real. Don’t deny it. Don’t deny me.” Rose’s cheeks burned with shame, even though she pushed her bosom more into his hand, seeking the pleasure she knew he could give her. Then, she recalled that they were in a restaurant, and stilled at once, eyes wide, heart thudding wildly, and breathless. “We’re in a bar,” she told him, her protest sounding weak even to her own ears. “A desert one,” he chuckled. She turned around, and saw that the restaurant was indeed vacant, save for them, and Enzo and Stefan who were standing by the door, their backs to them. It was rush hour, and that couldn’t have happened, even if the food was terrible — and it wasn’t. She understood immediately that the divillish man sitting next to her, who starred in all her fantasies as of late, had ensured that they would have the privacy they needed. For a ruthless mafia boss, he sure could be considerate. ... ... ... ... When Rose meets a mafia boss on one of her night shifts, she thinks he is a peculiar and unpleasant patient whom she would do well to avoid... Little does she know that that encounter is but the beginning to a tumultuous passionate chapter of her life. Risking everything for the man shouldn't be an option... And yet, she soon finds herself caught in his web of sin, desire, and obsession.