Forks And Knives Joke

A dark romance, vividly grotesque, morally questionable, fate-defying, vampirically induced tale of happily ever after. With a little bit of dark humor, of course. ****** Tessa was one of the best assassins for hire, she lives for the thrill of the kill. The blood of her victims never tainted her subconscious. Until one day there was a threat to her life. She had three months to live. Tessa was doomed, she had tried everything and she knew she couldn't get out of her impending death. And what did Tessa do when she only had three months to live? She made a bucket list. She had been busy with her lust to kill that she didn't get to live a normal life, after all, she was a psychopath. Within weeks numbers were being crossed off from her list, from having tacos for breakfast, the morning after sex, and somewhere on the list was falling in love. Tessa wrote that as a joke, but deep down she wanted to feel it, she wanted to be able to love someone before she died. Fun fact: Psychopaths are almost incapable of truly loving another. Will Tessa manage to cross everything on her list? ***** The Angel of Death, that was what they called him. Nero Severus Xerxes was a vampire King who was among the oldest. Nero had taken lives, he had taken humans, vampires, and other supernatural beings. Yet none would challenge him. He was a possessive bastard, he was a ruler, a sadistic male who protects what was his. One day Nero was faced with the most beautiful woman with a strange view of death. She even had a bucket list. As a vampire King who had lived a thousand lives her careless attitude intrigued him. Will Nero fall for her?

Elizabeth is a wolfless mute slave. After her mother was brutally killed to protect her from rape, her father was murdered by the Alpha of the black river pack. Elizabeth endured endless bullying in the black river pack for revenge. She vowed to kill the Alpha's families and leave with her beloved boyfriend when she turned 18. However, fate played a joke on her. Elizabeth discovered that her boyfriend had cheated on her long ago, and her fated mates were Alpha's twin sons! She declared to reject them as her mates, but the moon goddess had more incredible arrangements waiting for her. One day she will find out that her mates are not only twins, but also the Alpha of Giant Wolf who is 16 feet tall, the prince of Winged Wolf who lives in a cloud castle, the Beta of Fire Wolf who is covered with Untouchable heat, and even the vampire king who is the enemy of all werewolves and the Merman who lives under the deep sea... Why does she have 9 mates? What should she do when all her mates are jealous and desperate to possess her? *** I was kneeling on all fours inside the cage, with a heavy chain tied around my neck. Countless werewolves wearing masks sat in the circular stands, pointing at me, the cheapest auction item. "Look at her huge belly. She's pregnant. Non-virgins aren't worth much!" "Minimum 50 gold coins. If she has a baby girl, you will have two sex slaves then. " I couldn't believe that I, Elizabeth, the most cherished daughter of Blue moon pack's Alpha, would be reduced to being auctioned off as the lowest-priced sex slave in an underground trading market. "10 million gold coins, we want her!" 9 handsome men claimed.

“You think coming here and apologizing solves it? Do you think it’s going to ease my pain? The pain you inflicted on me?” I yelled at him, my chest burning with all the pent up anger, waiting to be unleashed. Ashton reached out to touch me, but I slapped his hand away. Hurt flashed in his eyes, but I couldn’t care less. “I’m sorry, Helen. I promise to do better. Please, give me a second chance.” I scoffed. What a joke! “We are divorced, Ashton.” Ashton shook his head as if willing himself not to believe what I was saying. “I never sent you divorce papers, Hel. And…” he trailed off while I stared at him with creased brows. “We aren’t divorced. I never signed my part.” ***** For three years, Helen tried to be the perfect wife despite being labeled as incompetent, barren and worthless. She put up with her husband’s ignorance and mother-in-law’s insults for the sake of maintaining peace and keeping her marriage. But what she didn’t expect was a video of her husband in bed with his secretary on Christmas Eve when she planned to break the news of her pregnancy to him. And worse — His secretary threw a divorce paper which her husband had drafted at her face and asked her to beat it. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she left and returned six years later with dashing triplets. But what she didn’t expect was her husband wanting her back. As if that wasn’t enough, she was about to find out that there was more to what happened six years ago, and everything she thought she knew…were all lies. Will the holiday spirit be enough to bring them together again?

“I reject you as my mate! You can never be my Luna! You can never be my anything!” In a world where power, wealth and legacy matter, Ari has none of the above. Despite being a female alpha, she is wolfless, which is a nail to the coffin of her miseries. But, the moon goddess sees her fit to be the true mate to the future king alpha, Zade parkers. Only, Zade doesn’t think so, therefore rejecting her on the spot. Zade has his heart set on his childhood girlfriend and perfect match Olivia, so when Ari comes in the picture, he is enraged. Because Ari, is his sworn enemy. Ari came into Zade’s life through his father mating her mother. Zade detest all that Ari is that’s why he knows the moon goddess must be pulling a cruel joke on him. It even gets worse, when his wolf doesn’t agree with his rejection and can only be present if Ari is with him. His life, is turned upside down for the second time- all by Ari. Ari having found herself unable to escape the painful clutches of zade, she vows to be strong and get her wolf back, because the only way to get out means she has to be of equal power as the prince. Will she succeed and survive the love triangle between her, her mate zade and his lover Olivia? And Zade, how could he conduct his life, with two girls, all mixed up together? One whom he has loved all his life, and another; who is threatening to crash and burn the life he has built and protected so much but elicits emotions he didn’t think were within him- but is the girl he hates the most in the world?

Ria's life was turned upside down when her billionaire husband threw the divorce papers at her face! He wanted to divorce her and marry his lover who was a thousand times better than her. "It's time for us to go our separate ways, Ria. These five years have been nothing but torture to me. I don't love you," Wyatt Earlson declared. His tone was emotionless and indifferent. It seems like all the years together were nothing but a joke in his eyes. Eventually, he would choose that woman over her. Heartbroken and depressed, she took off on a dark rainy night. She had devoted herself to him and his family yet they treated her like trash. She was continuously abused and neglected yet she stayed by his side because she thought he loved her. Suddenly, a man in an exquisite black suit drove a limousine up to her and said, "Miss Flinch, I'm assigned to pick you up and return to your family. Your brothers and grandfather are awaiting your return," Few months later, she came back with a new identity and title that SHOCKED the world. When she arrived at the ball a few weeks later, they asked, "Isn't she that broke country girl who was divorced by her husband?" "How dare a street rat like her show up in this place?!" The moment Euphoria (Ria) Riley Flinch was born, the people who looked down on her, scorned and treated her like trash started to drop on their knees and beg for her mercy. "Please forgive me. I was wrong," they cried. Even her ex husband was now begging her for forgiveness. However, she only raised her chin and stepped on their fingers.

Ed grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him, his hand wrapping her tiny waist, without a second thought he pressed his lips on hers, kissing her. It was filled with hunger, lust and passion. He yearn for her, all this while. And right now he had to show this crazy rich guy, she belongs to him. And only him. "I don't care what people say, I the only one for you." He breath slowly, but as he devour every inch of her lips, she hadn't responded, but struggles to get free. She pushed him back, getting free from his grip. "Ed, listen to me, I don't love you anymore." She gulped, wiping her lips. Wiping away his kiss. As if it some filth was rubbed was her. "No, you do." He let out a weiry chuckle. "Actually I only fall for you because of your money and fame." Areena raved harshly. This is a joke, right. she is'nt like this ... The shy Areena he fell for. Though she ignore him recently. But this isnt happening. Areena is dumping him. That not happening even in his wildest dream. But sadly this is no dream. "You're joking right." "I'm not!!" she yelled and walked towards the handsome guy, grabbing his hand. He gently grab her chin, he wiped her lips with his hankie, and landed a kiss on her. *** In a world where love between the Noble and Servile is forbidden, Ed and Areena fall in taboo relationship, despite the dangers, they cannot resist their fiery passion for one another and are willing to risk everything to be together. Areena is torn away from Ed as Dean came into her life, she must make a heart-wrenching decision between the two, who is she going to choose ...

Viktor Raven Viktor Raven isn't someone greatful to have money but money is greatful to have him. A man whom women's are fasting every day to have. Hayl Cain The perfect defination of mask. Carries her world where every man craves her. But she isn't that easy. Her fake face can even fool a lie detector. PLOT LINE When women's are dying to have the Man of thier dreams but that men bears allergy with marriages. He finds a women to marry over a contract but not making a contract. SNEAK PEEK "So will you marry me?" I asked her. "What kind of joke you are spitting. Did you take the wrong pills? " she asked me "No I don't think it's pills you are born with defect I guess" she said as she sighed. And then she started to walk out as I grabbed her by her wrist again and rolled her over with her hand stuck behind her as I had a tight grip. While my mouth lingered over her ears. "When I say I'm serious. Than I'm hell serious. And since you already know I'm mental don't make me go mad. " I murmured in her ears. But then she rolled her hands over her head and than rolled my hands. As now I was in front of her. "Do you know you have a great power in you " "And what is that? " "That you can speak crap every time you open you mouth without failing once" she said to me as I laugh. Then I rolled my hands away and got away from her grip and then started to walk nearer and nearer to her as she walked back and back as she reached at the edge of my desk. While she looked at me with no expression.

A year ago, a witch planted a curse on me. Afflicted with the Silver Moon disease, my life hung by a thread. At the risk of his life, Sebastian Garland, the Alpha and my boyfriend at the time, ventured into the deadly Dark Woods. He suffered for 99 days, braving countless dangers, just to bring back the antidote that could save my life. From that moment onward, I swore that no matter what kind of mistake he made, I would forgive him 99 times. Soon after my vow takes effect, Sebastian betrays me. He starts bringing back countless lovers to our home. "This is the reality of being a Luna. You should get used to it," he says to me. On the anniversary of our relationship, he brings back another lover. "Cassandra, Isabella doesn't have a gown she can wear to the party. Give her the one you wore on your wedding day," Sebastian heartlessly orders me. Despite believing that I've grown numb, when I hear those words, my heart still feels like it has been ripped apart. My voice trembles with rage as I cry out, "You can't keep hurting me however you like just because you think I'll bear with it! I won't put up with this forever. I'll break my bond with you!" All of the werewolves in the pack laugh hysterically, as if they have just been told the most ridiculous joke in the world. Sebastian's repeated humiliation of me has left me without a shred of dignity as his Luna. No one believes me. While eyeing me derisively, Sebastian says, "I'm sick of hearing that. It's even more nauseating than the moans you make in bed!" I close my eyes, allowing my tears to fall. This is the 96th time. Once he uses up all of his chances, it'll be the day I'll finally be free.

Ah! Mrs Gates, you're glowing. Your husband is taking good care of you. You keep getting more beautiful by the day.” “Of course, Mr Clinton loves his wife the most. Can't you see how in love they are? Do you think he would let her do something as stressful as working?” “That's true. I wish I were in her shoes. A perfect billionaire housewife with a doting husband who worships her. The last time he bought Star of the Sea at the auction, I immediately knew that his love for her was unlimited,” another high-class woman chimed as I passed by them. I halted in my tracks. Star of the Sea? How come I can't remember him giving it to me? Before I could process everything, another figure stepped in. A figure that I dread mentioning her name. Yeah, it was her. Louisa Carter, my husband’s childhood sweetheart. The woman whose existence threatens to tear my marriage apart. “How does it feel to be divorcing the man you love? Why didn't you tell those silly women the truth— that you're nothing to Clinton? You're just trash, not worth mentioning.” She hissed. I looked up at her the moment I heard divorce. Clinton has not told our family yet and even ordered me to keep it a secret. How did she know? “Mrs Gates? What a joke!” she continued. You're just sitting on an empty shell. His heart, his body, his wealth, his company, they all belong to me. You have nothing except the name. ******* Everyone in the city assumed Joanna was the precious wife of Clinton Gates because of how boastful he was of her. What they didn’t know was that all he did was just a public stunt until Joanna boldly threw divorce papers in his face.

On my eighteenth birthday, the High King summoned the heirs of the four great clans—the Vampires, the Werewolves, the High Serpent Clan, and the Merfolk. He laid their portraits before me and said, "Choose one to be your bondmate." I did not hesitate. I pointed to Damon—the werewolf with no noble bloodline, born in a forgotten corner of the realm. The entire court erupted in disbelief. Everyone knew who I used to love. Alpha Iris—the heir of the most powerful Lycan bloodline. For seven years, I chased him with blind devotion. No matter how harshly he treated me, I never gave up. I confessed to him over and over, sometimes right in the royal court. I even performed a blood-binding ritual—slitting my wrist—to earn the right to marry him. In my previous life, I got what I wanted—I married him and we performed the mate bonding ceremony. With that union, he inherited the High King's resources and rose to become the ruler of all four clans. However, what I did not expect was that after our wedding, he turned around and marked my adoptive sister. My parents were furious and sent her away. From that day on, Iris hated me with a vengeance. He surrounded himself with women who all looked eerily like her. One by one, they came—each more vicious than the last. With his silent approval, they tore me down, piece by piece, until I was nothing more than a joke—no longer the queen I once was. The suffering pushed me into severe depression. Only suppressants keep my wolf form from spiraling out of control. Until one day, my medication was replaced with a slow-acting poison. He was the one who did it. I died alone, locked away in the cold palace, a child still growing inside me. However, fate gave me another chance. In this life, I would not make the same mistake. When the High King once again asked me to choose a partner for the marriage alliance, I chose Damon—the one no one ever noticed—without even blinking. I thought I was finally free of the past. However, the moment the engagement was announced… Alpha Iris lost his mind.