Forks And Knives Joke

Married for five years, I'm known as the woman with the perfect husband. Alexander Foster is tall, strong, endlessly passionate, and people love to joke that we can't keep our hands off each other. Then he goes on a mission one day and never returns. I fall apart. I try to end my life six times, and six times someone drags me back. On the night of the sixth attempt, I overhear my mother-in-law, Anna Greyson, whispering to the man everyone believes is Alexander's younger brother, Daniel Foster. "Alexander, how long are you going to keep hiding this? Mia has tried to kill herself six times because of you." Alexander's voice stays calm. "Mom, before Daniel died, he asked me to take care of Lily. She's fragile, and now she's pregnant with my child. If she learns the truth, she won't survive it." And that's when the truth hits me. My husband isn't dead at all. He's been pretending to be his own younger brother and plans to have a child with Lily Harper under that lie. After crying until I can barely stand, I contact Margaret Warren at the matchmaking agency. "About that blind date you mentioned. I'll take it. And I want the wedding as soon as possible."

I ditched a shot at studying abroad to help my boyfriend, Gavin Censori, launch his startup. Stuck it out with him through seven brutal years. Then boom—success hit, and so did the ghosting. On Valentine's Day, he hit me with the classic "work's crazy" excuse. Instead of showing up, he had some random delivery dude drop off a box of cosmetic samples. Samples. Later that night, his secretary Rebecca popped up on my feed, flexing hard. Caption: [With a boss like this, why go home early?] Pic: A box of high-end makeup. Same brand. Hers weren't samples. I dropped a comment: [You're doing great at your sidechick job. Gold star.] Gavin called instantly, losing it. "What's your problem? She's just an employee! I bust my ass making money for you, and you're always jealous!" I laughed. Didn't even yell. Just dumped him. Seven years, and I'd never touched a dime of his. Joke's on him—his precious startup? Secretly bankrolled by me. Fast-forward three years. Business summit. He rolled in wearing a tailored suit. The second he spotted me with a bag of bottles, his smirk kicked in. "Didn't like those cosmetics I gave you, huh? Now look at you—reduced to bottle collecting?"

We're celebrating my son, Baby Selwyn, turning a month old. I'm walking past the pool with him in my arms when someone shoves me from behind. Colin Selwyn jumps into the pool like a madman. He saves us and immediately rushes us to the hospital. Baby Selwyn makes it out alive because of the timely rescue. When I open my eyes again, Baby Selwyn and Colin aren't by my side. I sit up while coughing and remove the needle inserted into my hand. I leave the hospital room and head for the pediatric department, wanting to see Baby Selwyn. However, as I walk past the emergency room, I hear Colin talking to a doctor. "We managed to save the child from drowning, Mr. Selwyn. Why has he now died of asphyxiation?" "I smothered him. Per the plan, he was never supposed to make it out alive!" "But why? He's your son!" "I promised Sandy that I would make our child the Selwyn family's sole heir. Lucille should never have given birth to Baby Selwyn." Colin's tone is gentle and calm, yet his words are cold and cruel. I've always thought I had a loving marriage, but it's just a joke! I've already lost my beloved son, and my heartless husband is the one behind his death. I don't want him anymore!

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY No woman could tame a Sandoval like Gaston Pierre, but she did so without even realizing it. The playboy son of a powerful family in Davao vowed to himself that he would not be involved with any woman. For him, women are simply distractions. Before meeting her, he used to play around. Everything around him is a joke, all in good fun. But when he met the young and innocent woman in their hacienda, everything changed. Her innocence and pure heart enchanted him. She redefined his life. He now sees life differently than he did before. She gave him direction, a guide. Camilla is now the light of his life, his everything. But, like all love stories, theirs was tested. Fate played a part. An accident happened. He lost his sight. Living in the dark for years, he punished himself and sought no refuge. He enjoyed living in darkness because it allowed him to see the light. In the darkness, he can see her shine. She's the only light that has kept him alive for years. She is the only star he wants to see every night, but she is nowhere to be found. How long will he wait? Can he still find what's missing? Will the stars align to give another chance to the love they failed to protect? Or will he forever live in darkness, unable to see the brightest stars tonight?

My BFF sent the hot stranger a voice note... Of me saying I want to climb him like a tree. And he just. Texted. Back. It's the dog's fault, really. If this untrained Great Dane I'm walking had any manners at all, I never would've ended up here: With my leash wrapped around the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. Lucky for me, the guy is a good sport about it. (Although his joke that “Dogs take after their owners” hits a little too close to home when Rufus starts humping his leg.) He leaves me with his business card and a smile that makes my knees weak. I'm still pinching myself as me and the bestie resume our walk. “Methinks you had a little crush on him,” she accuses. Not thinking and a little flustered by the whole experience, I reply, “I’d wrap my legs around his waist tighter than that leash.” THAT'S when she reveals that she'd been recording my response. THAT'S when she gives me the most devilish grin I've ever seen and says, “You're welcome.” And THAT'S when she hands me my phone and reveals... She sent the recording to him. My heart is in my throat as those three little dots appear… Then a text. “PROVE IT.”

"I, Alpha Kai Xander of Blue Crest pack, denounce you, Ariel as my mate," My world came crumbling down my feet as I stare at the man I have spent these recent years of my life, worshipping and loving like he was my god. The man that gave me nothing, but assurance that we will eventually end up together as mates. Was I a joke to him? Did he say all those words to me to get in between my legs? "What are you saying, alpha?" I need someone to wake me up from this nightmare which I so much not want to be reality. "What about the promises you made to me? You told me you would be with me forever. You told me you loved me..." "This is your fate, Ariel. Promises are made to be broken, and you have no right to question my decision. You are nothing, but a stranger that knows nothing about her origin. What were you expecting? Take you as my mate and spend the rest of my life being insulted by people? Never!" As if those words means nothing, as if it won't hurt me, he spills them out, while I stand here staring at him with my mouth agape. Now, that's it. Promises are made to be broken, but I never imagined he'd break his to me. Where do I start from?

My deskmate, Sierra Langford, handed me a throat lozenge. I turned around and melted it into the school cafeteria’s "Top Scholar Soup", letting all four thousand students share a taste. Because this time, I’ve been reborn. In my previous life, Sierra had a system that could steal other people’s exam scores. As long as I ate something from her, my grades would automatically transfer to her. She was a rich girl, already set to study abroad. Stealing my college entrance exam score was just a joke to her. On the other hand, I was poor. The exam was my only chance to change my fate. After three mock exams, my scores kept dropping for no reason, and no matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find out why. In the end, I failed the college entrance exam. Lost and broken, I was hit by a car. After I died, my soul hovered in the air and overheard Sierra laughing with her best friend, Hailey Monroe. "Who would’ve thought Vera Collins could’ve ranked first in the entire city? Well, that title’s mine now! Someone like her deserves to rot in the mud forever." This time, I’m back. So, she liked stealing people’s scores for fun? Then stealing just mine would be too boring. This time, the entire school’s exam scores would be a surprise for her.

Ophelia, the daughter of Ryan and Avery, was the only survivor of the attack on the moonshine pack in the southern region. Losing her entire pack made her a Lone wolf. Hated and despised by her own kind. Her father made a request when their pack was attacked. She was to find her uncle and deliver a message. Which inadvertently sends her on a journey to the north. Ophelia had always wanted to be free, to make her own choices and experience human love, not a forced bond. She wanted to love on her own terms, but nature had set her on a different course. During this journey, Ophelia discovers that she is mated to the Monarch, and it is her second shot at life. As if playing a cruel joke on them, nature paired a Lonewolf with the Monarch, a man with no tolerance for weakness, to a woman born from an ordinary wolf. A woman who did not even want a mate. Ophelia cannot morph into her wolf until she fully remembers who she is. Her body has to merge with her soul to trigger the transformation process; she is set on a quest to remember. She uncovers secrets she discovered in her past life, and with the help of Aaron, her mate, they unravel the mystery behind the existence of the half-bloods and identify the traitor in their ranks. Together, they save humanity from the torment brought to them by the half-bloods, rescue the captured wolves, and avenge their fallen heroes (her parents). They bring order back to the world. Proving that love can be found in the most unusual of places.

Eight years into marriage, and Fabian's mom finally gave me and my son her stamp of approval. Invited us to spend Christmas in his hometown. My son—Luca--and I were hyped. We picked out a gift for her and hit the road with Fabian. Right as we pulled into the village, Fabian's old friend called—crying, claiming she'd crashed her car. Fabian panicked. Left me and Luca in some random snowy mountain town and sped off. It was pitch black. Snow dumping down. Then Luca screamed. He'd stepped on a trap and dropped into a pit. Blood everywhere. I called Fabian, totally panicked. He goes, "Stella, Roxana's in a wreck. I need to be with her. Stop making everything a competition." Then he hung up. Blocked me. No time to fall apart. I wiped my face, called an ambulance. Too far out. By the time they got there, Luca was already gone. Cold. Broken. Gone. I held him and screamed until my lungs gave out. Meanwhile, Roxana's posting in the social media. All smiles in Fabian's arms. His face soft. Loving. [Highway jam turned into truth or dare. One word—"accident"—and he came flying. So happy.] I exhaled. Tagged Fabian. [Let's get a divorce.] This joke of a marriage should've ended forever ago.

Generally people think that for a Beautiful and self dependent girl from a respective background , Everything goes smoothly without any hitch. However for Annika, life was never so easy. Her life starts to spin out of control when her boyfriend, who was also her best friend, went abroad for his higher studies and never turned back. After that, One day her parents died in an accident and She became an orphan. When she was left alone She only craved family love but there was no one beside her to support her. Somehow she started living her life alone without any hope. As If it isn't enough, fate has played yet another joke on her. Suddenly one day her Ex boyfriend returned to her and married her. But After her marriage she's now facing a very precarious situation, where her husband refused to accept her as his wife Infront of the world because he only did this marriage due to his parents' wish. He gave her divorce papers after signing it and freed her from this relationship. Once again he went away from her life leaving her alone. Annika was not able to believe her husband. She's growing suspicious of him and a bunch of vicious villains are trying to pounce at her at every turn. How will the future unfold for Annika ? Let's Find out !