Funniest Ways To Die Novels & Stories

My older sister, Candice Channing, was a doctor who was an expert at treating infertility patients. She was always telling me how worried she was about me marrying a man who was not great in bed, which would be equivalent to me marrying into a life of being a widow. That was why she would always seduce every boyfriend I had. After sleeping with them, she would approach me by showing off the love marks on her body. "I've tried him out for you. He's not a considerate lover and refused to let me go even after I told him 'No'. This isn't a man you would want." I broke down every time she did this. After that, I cut ties with her and left for another place. That was when I met Russell Loft, the youngest Captain in the army who was stationed there locally. He was a mature and good-looking man. On the day of our wedding, we arranged a banquet for our guests, and that was when I spotted Candice among the crowd. Candice was now Russell's personal doctor, and she was at the wedding as a guest. "My dear sister, I can't help but worry about the man you're about to marry. Let me try him out for you." She drugged me unconscious and climbed into bed with Russell in the dark. When I woke up and barged into the room with others, my actions caused a commotion among our colleagues. Candice was treated as a third party who destroyed my marriage and was taken away on the spot. When my son turned one, Russell told me he wanted to surprise me, but he took me to an abandoned minefield instead. The moment I stepped on an active mine, I knelt on the ground, begging him to take our son to safety, but Russell looked at me coldly and said, "All Candice wanted before the wedding was to leave me with a memory of her first time in bed with me, but you got her arrested, and she ended up being raped to death by the people in the detention center. She was pregnant with my baby when she died. You and that b*stard child of yours should pay for their lives." That was when I found out that he had fallen for Candice. My son and I died in the explosion, and our bodies were blown to smithereens without leaving behind a intact corpse. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day of my wedding, where Candice appeared as our guest.

Everyone in the underworld knew Rosalie Thorne, the "Thorn Principessa" of the North. Wild, rebellious, notorious. Street racing, high-stakes gambling, guns, and drinking, she had mastered them all. The rose-and-thorn tattoo on the nape of her neck drove countless men wild. But what they didn't know was that for Rocco, the new mob boss of the South, a single sentence, "I prefer a more obedient woman," was all it took. At his word, I had the tattoo lasered off and swapped my leathers for long, conservative dresses. I am Rosalie. For five years, I hid my identity and played the porcelain doll Rocco wanted. Until the night he eliminated all his rivals and was crowned the new Don of the South. That was when he let his men bow to another woman, hailing her as their "Donna." I watched Rocco. The same hands that had just executed a traitor were now gently placing a pair of red high heels on the feet of his adoptive sister, Vivian. "Rosalie, she has a temper. She'll make a scene if she doesn't get the title." "You're the good one, the obedient one. Just let her have this." That day, I walked straight out into the rain and never looked back. I was never truly obedient. I just made myself smaller for him. My family had already chosen a husband for me. They had been waiting five years, just for me to say yes.

Diego has everything; he is a strong alpha leading one of the strongest packs on the continent, and he has a family that loves him unconditionally. However, no matter how many reasons he has, that unfortunate night never lets him be happy. He has tried to drown himself in work and exhaust himself in training to the extent that he was unable to move, but the pain he feels whenever glimpses of "that night" appear are the most agonizing moments of his life. To the world, he is "the hidden alpha," "the ruthless alpha," "the cruel alpha," but no one knows the truth behind those tags except his "addy" and her mate, "Ryan." Diego has a secret that he is unwilling to accept, and he will not reveal it to anyone, not even his mate (whom he has not found yet). Addy believes that once he finds his mate, his wounds will heal themselves automatically, but Diego dreads that moment because he knows that the fire burning inside him is enough to burn anyone who comes close to him. Arya is running...where? She doesn't know. She is running away from her past, her family, her reality, and her undeniable truth no matter how hard she tries. She has been running for five years now, and so far, she has even succeeded in getting away from their clutches, but she can't shake off the feeling that this will not be the case for much longer. However, there is one thing she is sure about: if she ever faces the situation where she is forced to live the life she lived for the first eighteen years of her life, she will kill herself. What will happen when fate throws these two broken souls together? Will their unhealed wounds ever heal?

After Vanessa moved into the estate, Mommy stopped fighting with Daddy. Her wolf was getting weaker. I think Mommy was going to the moon. Grandma had left me that way too. Daddy saw us in the hall, his face dark. His voice came out flat. “Fiona, you don't want Serena growing up in a broken home, do you?” Mommy didn't cry and shout at him the way she used to. She just held me, her voice soft. “Wire me a hundred million and I'll stay out of your way.” Daddy froze for a second. Then he transferred the money. After that, Daddy slept in Vanessa's room most nights, and Mommy kept asking him for more. She got so thin, and she wouldn't eat. She took my hand and brought me to a dozen different offices and made me sign papers. She said she was leaving everything to me. I buried my face in her chest. “Mommy, if you're tired, go find Grandma. I'll be good.”

After I transmigrate into a Gary Stu novel as the evil male supporting lead, a system appears in my mind. It tells me that as long as I can conquer one of the female leads, I will be able to return to my original world with a healthy body. But I've failed in my conquest. There are a few female leads in this novel. There's the fake heiress, Leslie Jackman, who I have grown up with and have viewed as my older sister. The true heiress, Miranda Suller, is a boxer who happens to be seatmates with me during our high school times. My childhood sweetheart, Catherine Langdon, who's also a genius surgeon, happens to be one of the female leads too. Heck, even my own daughter, Natalie Jackman… my own flesh and blood… All of them are quick to fall for Gabriel Linner, the poor yet strong-willed young man who's also known as the Gary Stu of this novel. Because of that, they hate me deeply. The system sighs before telling me that as long as I can die in the hands of any of the female leads, it will let me return to my original world. Later on, I use all of the tricks up my sleeve and succeed in getting killed by the female leads. But why is it that they've lost their minds after I die?

A story of a princess from a native tribe who chose to end the war by giving her hand for a marriage to a prince, an enemy of the tribe, who vowed to destroy her the moment she will set foot his kingdom...

For Him... She cannot be tamed. She loves freedom. She says whatever she wants to say. She is someone you cannot just easily handle. And she hates him. For Her... He is so lame! He just kept on following his parent’s orders. He is her manifestation of jail! And he is the only man that can keep her heart beating fast.

A week before my death, my Alpha mate's childhood sweetheart Sarah returned to our pack. That night, he didn't come home. The next day, I received his mind-link. "I've purchased a mate-bond severing potion from the pack witch. Come home now so we can break our bond." In our pack, the Moon Goddess was very serious about mate bonds. Once two wolves chose to form a mate, the mate bond could not be severed, unless the witch's potion was used. This potion was very expensive, costing up to $500,000 per bottle. I smiled bitterly. He was very generous to sever the bond with me. I coughed twice before answering, "I'm in the healing center." His voice turned ice cold. "I don't care where you are. Even if you're about to die, you need to come back." I calmly replied, "Fine." He didn't know that I really was dying. Three years ago, during a rogue wolf attack, I blocked the silver dagger for him to protect him while he was unconscious. I was poisoned by silver and became weaker and weaker over the past three years. I only had one week left to live. On the day of my funeral, my mate was busy holding his marking ceremony with Sarah. Later, he knelt before my grave in pristine white ceremonial clothes, clutching my headstone and whispering through tears. "If there's another life after this one, I still want to marry you." That day was his marking ceremony with his childhood sweetheart. It was also my funeral.

At his Alpha succession ceremony, Damien seated his childhood sweetheart in the Luna's chair, then dropped a mate bond severance agreement in front of me. “Once the bond's dissolved, I'll give you money. Enough to live comfortably for the rest of your life. One condition: stay away from Serena.” I signed without hesitation but I didn't take a cent. “Don't worry. I'll disappear from your lives for good.” That night I went home, took out the silver knife I'd already prepared, and dragged it across my wrist. Twenty-five years ago I'd crossed into this world of werewolves. For twenty-five years I'd worked to win over three protagonists, and every last attempt had failed. The Moon Goddess had told me: once this body died, I could go home, back to my parents. I lay on the cold floor and waited for the end. As my mind went hazy, I felt no fear, only a strange, giddy relief. And right as I was slipping away, I thought I heard someone screaming my name.

The people have elected a new president. The first thing he did was conscript children into a school for future soldiers, and not a single human rights organization found out. Selena was one of those children. She was twelve when soldiers at school picked her up from school, rode a chopper, and disappeared They brought her to a garrison along with hundreds of children like her. There, she met friends she'd do anything to protect.