Funny Dirty Quotes

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Yasmine is a simple village girl who is a little different from everyone else. She doesn't like her proper place as she would rather train to fight like a warrior than wash smelly, dirty clothes or be locked away in a kitchen somewhere like the other girls. Every five years, her village is invaded by what the Elders refer to as the beasts. They ransack everything and kidnap a selected few of the young villages that have just reached or are about to reach their eighteenth year. No one knows what happens to them as they were never seen again. How will Yasmine react when the beasts come for her and the Alpha of the beasts claims her as his own? With human hunters roaming the woods, Rival Packs wanting revenge, Friends and Ex-Lovers causing trouble, Will they overcome each obstacle that is thrown at them and come together as one? Or will they be torn apart??? ** Warning ** This story contains some violence, mature language, and mature scenes. Please read at your own discretion.

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.

Aaron and Alexia are twins from birth, they both did everything together, growing up they fell in love with each other but each of them tried hiding their feelings for one another. But such feelings couldn't be hiding for that long, such feelings couldn't be held back. Both twins find themselves giving in to the desires between them and finds it really hard to change their relationship back to the way it was before. The deed has been done, there was no changing anything. Would Alexia and her brother get to stop the taboo they are already entangled in? Would the lust between them turn to love? Would their dirty secret come out in the open? Read!! Read!! Read!! To get all the answers.

"Mr Charlie, your son fought in school again" Charlie's assistant reported, Charlie was shocked, he didn't remember having another son in College again. "You fulfilled your promise, so, I will make you my wife no matter what, and I won't take a no for an answer," Charlie told Margret without mincing words. Margret didn't expect her return to Houston with two of her triplets will be very dramatic, a man she doesn't recognise claiming she promised to give him triplets, and another man who wanted to snatch her children from her. And her other son, who doesn't recognise her as his mother.

BOOK TWO OF THE MAFIA MEN SERIES. *** He taught her how to live. She taught him how to love. *** Everyone called him a monster even the people who were close to him. But I was the only one who saw the troubled man hiding demons from his past. They called him a killing machine; he took lives without a second thought. But he saved mine, he saved me. I had no idea my savior would come in the form of a scarred face, covered in tattoos, who can't—or choose not to—speak a word to me. But I decided to take a risk. I opened the cage where his demons lived and I set them free. And then... I handed my heart to the monster to do as he pleased. TRIGGER WARNING: This book is provocative. It is categorized as DARK ROMANCE for a reason. It will not be for everyone. If you are a reader with certain triggers or sensitivities common to the dark romance genre then know that this book contains: a very dirty talker hero, sexual degradation, dubcon, rough play, and s&m themes

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

It's funny though to think her one night stand would lead to her joy, her very existence, her son! Being duped by her groom at the altar, is all it takes for Mikaella Sandoval to sacrifice her virginity to a complete stranger who swoops in at the right time leading to a son that binds them

Felicity McCarthy and orphan young girl who was raised by her aunt after the loss of her parents and was pampered and loved by her. But due to the shock she sustained in the accident, she was like a child even at twenty four years. Raymond Baldwin, a cold, rich, self centered aloof businessman who cares about nothing but his business and anything that will give him more money. Unfortunately, things got difficult when his grandparents refused to handover their multi billion dollar company to him unless he finds a bride. Raymond decided to rent a bride for a year in order to win them over. What will happen when a cute, childish bride marries a cold aloof groom?