Funny Dirty Quotes

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

Lily Collins is what you could consider as a girl with a purpose. By purpose, I mean to avoid trouble and to stay away from a certain blue eyed boy, with the means to torment her. A boy she can't help have undying feelings for...Asher Grey has everything, girls,money, people kissing at his feet so what more could he ask for? Other than the girl he finds pleasure in bullying, a girl he's in love with. At some point he won't be able to hold in his feelings any longer, it'll start to peek out.______________________________"You look like you just got banged!" He teased as he glanced at my state."What, no I don't?" I said, well more like asked uncertainly as I passed my hand through my unruly hair. I felt the disheveled strands as my finger tugged at some knots.Niall chuckled "Your hair is a mess and your shirt is inside out." He pointed out. My hand automatically went to my shirt as I tugged it and looked around at the prying eyes of the other students."Oh shit!" I muttered once I realized that indeed it was inside out. Gosh this is embarrassing. I pulled down my skirt suddenly feeling self conscious and pulled my shirt higher as I saw a little bit of my boobs peeking out."You also have a lot of love bites." He pointed out again louder than needed, making me give him a lethal look. If looks could kill he would have been dead right now. Maybe I can arrange that."Shut up don't point it out!" I hissed. I'm gonna kill Asher.

Some bad girls need a steady hand to keep them in line. I'm bad enough to need two. Two old men can teach me a lesson when I misbehave. Two hot bodies to keep me warm in bed at night. Two best friends can learn to share with a dirty mouth kid like me. After all... dirty girls need very dirty dads. Anna Josephine is nothing but trouble. She's wild and tough. Not worth anyone's time. Anna is a beautiful little girl. She is also a vulnerable young man on my case list. She is half my age and has absolutely no limits. I broke every rule in the book by giving her somewhere to stay when she was out on the street with nowhere to go. And I'm breaking all the rules of friendship by locking her up at my best friend Jack's house while he's away on business. I thought life was hard enough when I fell in love with the girl, but it got even harder when Holmes came home early and discovered a beautiful stranger was causing a ruckus in his house. And it's even harder when he has a crush on her too. He is the only man on this planet with whom I want to share my last supper. I'm happy to share that. I'm not sure how I feel about sharing Anna.

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

I sexted him for months, dirty, shameless, anonymous.Then I met him.He’s older, hotter in person, and suddenly everywhere I turn.There’s something in his smirk… like he knows.And when the truth finally slips, I realize I’ve crossed a line I can’t uncross.

Vivian Kane is a ghost in the digital underworld, slipping into Alessandro Costello’s world like she’s always been there. She lifts his wallet with a swipe of her fingers, and just like that, she’s not only hacked his systems—she’s hacked his life. Alessandro Costello doesn’t do forgiveness. She’s made it personal, and now he’s out for blood. He’s ready to turn her life into a living nightmare, using every dirty trick he knows to make her regret ever crossing him. What starts as a simple theft quickly spirals into something far darker. They’re trapped in a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where every touch and taunt turns up the heat until it’s a steamy, no-holds-barred battle of lust and dirty games. In this twisted mind-fuck, trust is a luxury neither can afford.

Life can be cruel, life can be hard, and one has to keep fighting not to let down their guard cause most battles went through make a person who they are, being proud of your scars is the best. Struggle, Pain and Failure led Ashley, a girl desperate in need of a job to save her dying mother to end up falling into a trap. She got marked as a demon mate and had no way out but the situation takes a funny turn when she realized she is more than a mate!

The Water Girl is about a girl in high school that's the water girl for the high school popular football team. She gets picked on and made fun of all the time, but there is one boy that takes an interest in her. Brody likes River for who she is. He thinks she's funny, and beautiful. But the guy that's been tormenting her for years realizes he's in love with her after he broke his leg and River had to help him. who does she pick.

WARNING: THE STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUAL SCENES. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Senator Phoenix McIntyre is a respectable politician. Everyone thought that he's a perfect man with a crystal-clear reputation. But behind that perfection lies a dirty secret: he has his own personal whore who fulfills all his sexual fantasies. What can he do? Ever since he saw Brianna Wilson or Eve dancing seductively on stage, his whole body burned with intense desire, the kind of desire he never felt before. She haunted him in his dreams, and he would always wake up with a massive hard-on. That's when he decided to have her. Damn his reputation, he had to taste that sweet pussy. What will happen if his ultimate secret is exposed? What would happen to him if the whole world happened to take a glimpse of how nasty and dirty he is in bed?

⚠️ R18+ WARNING This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and taboo relationships between consenting adults. Expect filthy age-gap sex, forbidden lust, rough scenes, and a daddy’s best friend who can’t keep his hands off the heroine. If you’re under 18, or easily offended by dirty talk, moaning, and being pinned against the wall… turn back now. If you like it dirty… welcome home.****^^^^*******^One kiss in the hallway was all it took to break every rule. Now he’s in my room at night, his hand over my mouth so my father won’t hear me scream his name. He says it’s just sex. I know it’s something more. Because no matter how wrong it is… I’m not sure I’ll ever want him to stop.*****This book is a compilation of different short stories. Have fun reading!