Funny Dirty Quotes

"You look tired and lazy. I think you're suffering from lack of vitamin me?" ~X~ Three words are enough to describe the playboy billionaire Alexis 'X' Montemayor who owns the very successful Club inside and outside the country. Hot. Dangerous. And oozing with sex appeal. He believed that he would never find the right woman for him despite having a random geisha in his very own Club-V. Not until a woman named Minzireth Paje entered his room and asked him if she is hired or not in the middle of what he called 'play time'. Lured by her sexy smile; piercing golden brown eyes; and voluptuous body, he hired her as his sex-retary. ***** Minzireth Paje is not your typical woman. Nagtungo sa siyudad upang maghanap ng trabahong makapag-aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan at matustusan ang gamutan ng kanyang magulang na may sakit. Ngunit nagbago ang lahat ng matanggap siya bilang sekretarya ng nagmamay-ari ng isa sa pinakasikat na Club sa Pilipinas. Buong akala niya'y more on paper works; answering calls; at tamang tayo lang sa gilid ng conference room ang kanyang gagawin. Not until her playboy boss, Alexis Montemayor demands her to do her assigned job. And that was to spice his night as his sex-retary. What if she found out what was her playboy boss's dark secret? Would she be able to fulfill her duty? Or resigned, and accept the fact that she is not qualified enough to be one of his sex-retary?

" Please." she croaked out, the pain slowly paralyzing her body. " No! I can't marry you anymore, Sage. You're broken, used, and tainted. How am I supposed to marry you now knowing so many men used you like a fucking public property?" Enrique snapped, glaring at his fiance who was on the hospital bed. " She was raped, Enrique. How can you say this?" Sabrina growled, not believing what he just said. " Not my fault but I can't marry her now. I can't even look at her after knowing how dirty she is. I'm sorry Sage but our story has to come to an end here." Enrique looked at his childhood love, on the bed helplessly drowning in her own tears as he walked out of the room. --- Love lasts all fights but unfortunately, Enrique's love couldn't. He walked out on the very first step leaving Sage to deal with herself. Two years later, he is back in the same town only to marry Sage's sister. Will he regret his decision or will it be too late? Read to find it all out.

Nina Facelo is your average type of girl. Hindi maganda at hindi rin naman pangit, simple lang sya kung baga. Mahilig magbasa, manood ng Rom-Com movies, mahilig magbake, kumain, and a k-pop fan with strange hobbies. Kahit na palagi syang natatawag na weirdo, loner, at nerd ay wala siyang paki-alam. She have the best sets of friend, kahit dalawa lang ito. But an accident happened, habang naglalakad sya papunta sa isang bookstore, upang bumili ng libro na palaging bukambibig ng kanyang kaibigan. It's was tittled with Illuminating Darkness. A Romance-Fantasy novel. An unexpected faith occurred she was about to go home, she saw an old woman who's in trouble. The old woman was being harassed by thieves! Pilit nitong hinihila ang hand bag ng matanda, and when she saw this, ay nagpakabayani ito at ipinagtanggol ang matanda without knowing the consequences. And right before her eyes, she was stab! It happen so fast, that in a blink of an eye. She was clutching her stomach, watching the blood flowing from her tummy,like a fountain. Akala nya mamamatay na sya. But suddenly, she woke up in a different body. The body of Lady Marina, daughter of the powerhouse Edwards. What in the world just happen?!

"You, my dear, will be going to help us to decide that. You will pick a king." "Say what now?" "I'm not going to repeat it since I know that you have heard me." "Fine! You want me to decide?! Nate!" I pointed to prince Nathaniel, if I remember correctly. He was slightly taken aback and a confused expression was replaced. "Do you want to be a king?" "I...uh...Yes?" He said. Unsure of his answer. It made me wonder if the expression on my face had forced him to say yes. "Good. Then you'll be the king. "What!? But that's not how you decide it!" PRINCE Ace said. "Fine! You're all kings. In fact, we ALL can be kings!!" **** She's Rosalie Amber Stan. A simple teenage girl, who made a wish to have a more adventurous life, was a victim of an abduction by the Fae queen to a different realm. She was brought to a castle with 5 supernatural princes, who are fighting for the throne. The queen gave her a task to be the one to choose the future heir to their kingdom. Little did she know that the queen only wanted one thing from her and the princes: Romance. Between a sparkly wizard, a rude obnoxious elf, a flirty vampire, and a couple of twin trouble making wolf princes; Is there really a right choice? And why is there a wolf spirit, who suddenly awakened upon sensing her arrival, kept stalking her? A romantic-comedy in 'another world' with a quirky-temperamental female heroine learning the culture of this new fantasy world.

Twin brothers.Different personalities. Completely identical. Except for a tattoo. One an ex-convict. The other a judge. Watch out for a thrilling drama as secrets and twists play out in this blockbuster story.You can read my interviewand oni, https://tinyurl.com/y62f98am

To Rosetta, life was way too short to be lived within strict rules. The night before she turned 18, Rosetta signed up to be a one-time stripper at a private bar, and she ends up in the bed of a mysterious stranger who takes her to heaven and back. The following morning, he leaves before she awakens, making her to wonder if he was ever real. When her mother remarries for the third time, Rosetta is forced to relocate to Los Angeles with her, and her world falls apart when she realizes that her mother's new husband is the same man she had met weeks earlier at the club. Damon Brooks is her latest stepfather! Now, she has to fight her growing feelings for the only man who makes her mother happy, and risk losing a chance with him. Does it get better or worse when she finds out that Damon is falling, even harder for her, right under the nose of her mother? What happens when her step father gives her 100 days to enjoy their dirty little game, after which everything must end. Can Rosette handle the pain of what happens after? There's only one way to find out. Read this book, Now!

TRENDING: Ang panget na si Yolly Peralta, nabuntis ng Campus Heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu! Miserable ang buhay ni Yolly sa Sanchi College dahil laging tampulan ng tukso ang kanyang kapangitan. Pero dahil sa isang selfie, napalapit siya sa campus heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu at naging kaibigan pa ito. Naging close pa sila sa close. Pero paano kung isang gabing ay malasing sila? Tapos magbubunga ang isang gabing karupukan ng dalawang linya sa pregnancy test kit at si Andy raw ang ama? Matatanggap kaya ni Andy na nakabuntis siya ng pangit? At ang tanong, totoo nga kaya na buntis si Yolly?

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Bianca needs a refuge. She ends at a weird place… the « Crossroads café » well named as it stands in the middle of nowhere and manage to get a job there. Little did she knows that the Crossroads café is the place in between packs… the only space where différents groups of werewolves can stop to take a break.

"Now you listen. You are mine. Your whole existence is mine. You live for me. Breathe for me. Exist for me. If I tell you to do something. You do it. No questions asked. If I tell you to jump off a building, I want no hesitation from you. I am the master and you are my slave. Do you get me?" Isabella Russo lost her parents to a car crash when she was just eight years old, she moves to Italy to live with her father's sister. 10 years later, she finds out that she was given off to the Perez Mafia family as collateral. What will happen when Capo Domenico Perez comes to take what's his? In a bid to make him fall for her, will she succeed? Or would she find herself falling for the dangerous capo with no one to catch her.