Funny Dirty Quotes

Letche naman oh! Kung hindi ko lang talaga kailangan ng perang pang piyansa kay Itay hinding hindi ako sasapi sa grupo ni Buknoy. At malay ko bang ang target namin ay isa pa lang bigatin na ubod ng gwapo, yaman, yabang, at saksakan ng pagkababaero bukod dun napaka-daldal niya at ang bastos pa ng bunganga. Walang iba kundi si Sebastian Cain Guevarra. Ang lalaking mas magulo pa sa buhok mo sa private part. Paano ba naman—"I'll give you two option, Miss. Pumili ka, kulong o magiging alipin ko?" seryoso ngunit nakangising tanong niya. Humakbang siya papalapit at inilapit ang mukha sa aking tenga saka bumulong. "Choose wisely cutie..." sabay kindat niya. ©CrystalineG

What would happen if two people who hated each other suddenly had a baby to take care of?  -Jennie Lane, the college student council president of Yale University. She is very kind and calm but when it comes to Lisa she becomes the opposite.   -Lisa Delaney,  a famous troublemaker student along with her friends  Sarah and Rosé. She likes to irritate and see Jennie stressed because of her, for no definite reason. -Kevin Smith, boyfriend of Jennie and a varsity player.

The day Candice Larsen received the letter for her successful admission in Harvard University was also the day the news reported the involvement of her parents in a car-crash. Even after this fateful incident she refused to look at the world with bitterness. However, as she faces the real world, she discovered that in order to live, some dreams must be sacrificed. After failing the entrance exam to one of the world's prominent university attended by all of his older siblings Dylan Hearst certainly knew that he had also failed to make his father proud. Being a member of a historically rich family, known for their wits and creative inventions that has catalyzed the technological advancement of today, Tristan's existence was a shame. As their lives come into an unexpected encounter, it was not long when Tristan figured out that Candice complimented him in every way. Her weakness is his strength, and her strength is his weakness, and he certainly knew that breakthrough is set if they mastered how to use each other's gift for their own benefits.

Everette and Jack know next to nothing about romance novels.... or women. So when they accidentally join a book club full of both, they have no idea what to think. But, as the book and time goes on, the ladies in their book club become more interested in a different plot. The love lives of both men.

Dahlia is an African-American young lady with ambitions to become very successful in the Tech industry and help give back to her Mum for all her sacrifices as a single parent. While on her journey to success she encounters some very interesting people and falls deeply in love with the only man she tells herself to avoid at all costs......so what will Dahlia do when Japanese billionaire Dai Japana only wants her in his bed and life despite their misunderstandings.

Juliet is a confident curvy girl with a sharp tongue and a sassy fun loving attitude who runs a pizza shop with her sister. Jude is a frontman in a rock band with a hard edge but boyish good looks and a retro style. The two couldn't be more different, and from opposite worlds. A chance encounter brings them together for one explosive night neither will soon forget. Jude is forced to take a hard look at his life and question where he wants it to go while trying to decide on the future of his band. Follow along in this cute short story of how love comes in all forms. This is a simple and straight-forward easy to read feel good series about everyday people finding love in the most unsuspecting of places! We all have our issues, insecurities but can we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the right person? **This is a five part series that follows a hard rock band called Feisty and the five men who are its trail blazers, taking the world by storm while looking for love. Love finds them in some of the most unlikely places, but for one it’s been under his nose all along. A new book will come out about every six weeks until they are complete, enjoy!** This is a five part mini-series and the stories continue in order but can be read as individual stand-alone books. This part one, Judes story.

Kane has just become Alpha of the Crimson Pack. His first order of business is to prove to the pack that he has what it takes. And he's just about to do that when his beta and best friend informs him of the upcoming biannual meeting between the three largest packs in Southern America. The biannual meeting means he has to see Reno whose father is the Alpha of Fortnight yet again. Reno has been an enemy of his since he could pronounce 'enemy'. He's ready to make her one week stay miserable now that he's Alpha but then he hears that Reno is engaged to be married to the only person he hates more than Reno,the Alpha of Gray Moon. Kane might hate Reno but he definitely does not want her with the Alpha of Gray Moon. In fact,he does not want her with any man that is not him.

Hamil? Punya anak? Mana bisa. Dipegang saja tidak pernah. Maharani Aqila Dewi, gadis berumur duapuluh dua tahun itu memiliki IQ di bawah rata-rata, ia sangat mencintai Saka atau bisa dibilang, ia adalah bucinnya Saka. Ia sudah mencintai pria itu bahkan sejak dirinya kecil. Raysaka Wahyu Mahendra, pria yang sangat menjanjikan, cerdas istimewa, dan tentunya sangat tampan bagi Rani. Namun sayang, ia membenci gadis itu, gadis yang ia nikahi. Walaupun begitu, Rani selalu sayang dengan Saka. Rani tentunya tidak tahu mengapa pria yang ia nikahi ini tidak pernah peduli dengan usahanya dan jahat padanya. Tapi, cinta memang tidak membutuhkan alasan, bukan? Itulah yang menguatkan Rani selama ini dengan sikap Saka yang tidak peduli dengannya. Yang terpenting adalah Rani mencintai Raysaka dengan tulus sepenuh hati. Kisah cinta mereka pun dipenuhi dengan kekonyolan Rani dan sikap dingin Saka. Sampai akhirnya ia sadar, bahwa ternyata Saka tidak pernah mencintainya sama sekali. Pria itu hanya menikahinya atas perintah ayahnya sendiri. Akankah Rani masih mempertahankan pernikahannya ataukah perceraian adalah pilihan yang dipilih sebagai akhir dari kisah cintanya dengan Saka?

Etyl Guanzon is an Architecture student from Amstar Universitry, who is known by having a bold mouth. Everyone likes her, everyone's dream is to have her, touch her, and to claim her. Everyone- not until Jave Balesteros appeared. The only man who ignored her presence. She lives in a reality where everything is completely fine and nearly perfect. But, how will she conquer the life that JB gives her? Where her bravery takes her? He has principles and goals. He chased the justice not the woman. Did they play their role well when the uncertainties of their lives revolve around them?how difficult would it be for Etyl to choose the man of her dreams? And, how will JB choose Etyl over justice?

When Isabel Baker agreed to moonlight as a bartender at a private party, she never imagined she'd get anything more than tips. However, on this resort island, nothing was ever that simple. After tending bar with the deliciously handsome Noah who was flown in for the party, Izzy realized that she was about to break her number one rule: never fall for a tourist. But with his quick wit, charming smile and passion for marine life, Noah was the kind of guy that she couldn’t resist. At the end of the night, she barely managed to turn him away from coming home with her. Noah had only come to the island for one of Jack Saunders' famous parties. Yet once he met Izzy, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. After one steamy night together, he knew that he would do almost anything to keep her. Theirs should have been an easy love story, complete with a happily ever after. Except Noah was also moonlighting as a bartender that night and his true identity threatened Izzy’s research. When his billion-dollar company and her marine research project collide, their entire relationship crumbles into the sand. Will they be able to rebuild their beautiful sandcastle together, or will it be washed away by the rising tide, forever just a memory?