Funny Dirty Quotes

Calvin walked unsteadily towards Emily with a sly grin. A faint smile remained on his lips until Calvin stood right in front of Emily. "Is there something wrong if I change clothes in my own room?" Calvin stopped right in front of Hasna without breaking their eye contact at all. "After all, we are husband and wife, it's fine for me to be naked in front of you, right?" Calvin teased as he pried open Emily's hands which were still covering her face. "I'm not ready yet, Calvin, will you shut up your finches first?" Emily demanded, still keeping both hands covering her eyes. "Hahaha, this is Emily's eagle, not a finch," Calvin corrected because he felt insulted if the heirloom weapon he had carefully guarded for 29 years was called a finch. "Come on, open it! Take a look at my eagle!"

The childs gone. The dreams gone. I've become comfortably numb Valentina Lombardi has been through a lifetime of trauma throughout her years. From her absentee, abusive father who's neglected her all her life to her even more abusive legal guardian who's been the one to traumatize her. A trip to what she sees as her second bedroom, the police station, takes a turn of events with a piece of information she receives that changes everything. Zane Marino, leader of the Marino mafia, and Raul Romano, one of his top men. Dead. The two men who've destroyed her are now out of her life, a miracle to her. Now, she's being thrown into the custody of her eight older brothers she never knew she had. Her biological family. Not to mention, her eldest brother who's now her legal guardian, also happens to be the leader of the Sicilian mafia. Her "father's" pure enemy. What happens when she has to learn to deal with the infamous, ruthless Lombardi brothers, the ones she was raised to hate? Marino through adoption and Lombardi by blood. A dangerous mix. Throw trauma, boys, secrets, and utter chaos into the mix. How will it all play out when her inner demon's come to the surface, making everything unravel right under her two feet?

Lia doesn't know why she's so unlucky when it comes to love, she's twenty-eight years old but still NBSB that even the people around her are worried... Which pushed her to enter a night bar. "Don't be nervous, Lia, you'll be happy with the main event of this bar!" Her friend excitedly said while looking at the stage. Before Lia could move and the women around started to cheer, a masked man came out wearing only a small cloth to hide his dick. "The bidding for him will start now!" the MC announced on the side. “29 thousand!” A woman screamed. "29 thousand, going twice, going trice, is there no one going to fight?" The MC asked. Lia didn't know what was going through her mind to raise her hand, "30 thousand!" She shouted before the bidding was closed. "30 thousand, the bidding is close! You'll have one hot night with him!"

After being cheated by her beloved boyfriend, Joan Green decided to revenge him. She slept with his uncle, her future uncle-in-law, Noah Hugo, the last kid in the Hugo family, almost the same age with her Ex-boyfriend Fletcher. He was a top and outstanding billionaire in the entire state, having women by his side or sleeping with them was never his desire. Work and Women, are his whole world. Joan contacted and seduced Noah via her private account but she was rejected because Noah knew who she was. 「Wanna F?」 「Pretty. But I don’t fuck my nephew’s girl.」 Joan was furious when she saw his reply, but she didn’t expect that Noah would drink with her at the same pub.She was embarrassed and wanted to escape from him. But he asked her the same question「Wanna F?」 and then... Joan slept with him all night. After she wake up, she just found out that Noah knew her full name. He even knew her cousin Karen Green. That meant Noah knew Joan’s ex-boyfriend betrayed her? Or did he also play trick on her and regard her as a joke!? Joan was in a rage and delete him directly! What if Noah was a scum like Fletcher, then he would never contact Joan again and showed everyone that Joan was a stupid woman. But why? Noah's message was lying on her list again: 「Give me one more chance.」

Ryo Matsuda is the Prince of the Entertainment business but he is fed up with love. He always finds himself in a relationship where he was either just seen as a tool to enter the show business or as a living ATM. Liz Ross is a young passionate pastry chef. Her love life is nowhere close to the sweetness of the cakes she makes. She'd been in a number of relationships where she finds herself cheated on. Their world unexpectedly collided in a beautiful stroke of luck. Will they hold on to their promise to keep love out of their lives or will they take another gamble and give love a chance?

My fiancé’s first love Chloe had returned. Rumor had it she’d been overseas, treating some rare disease. I hadn’t believed it—until the day she showed up at my engagement party. And I watched as the man I’d been hopelessly in love with since I was sixteen left our party with her. “Wait for me,” Nathan said, “She is fragile. I need to make sure she is well.” He ignored me, but accompanying her to everywhere. I threw away the rings, trashed the wedding gown. When I was pale and trembling from a heart failure later. Nathan finally showed up. “Don’t you dare die on me, Emily,” His hands were shaking. His voice cracked. “We still have a wedding.”

I could hear his heart race as he spoke, my head pressed against his chest. “And were you pleased with what you found?” I asked, giving in to the urge to find out exactly what he thought of me. “I found you to be exactly what I had hoped for, after all these years. You’re smart, funny and generally adorable. You drive me insane with your stubbornness. You have a gorgeously alluring figure and a pure, sweet face. Most importantly, you’re someone who I could live with for the rest of eternity.” He squeezed me gently, running his fingers through my tangled hair. *** Seventeen year old Callista is just your average teenage girl, however when she starts to have strange dreams after coming into contact with a mysterious guy in a coma things become complicated: especially when she begins to suspect that he is trying to speak to her through her dreams. Launched into an alternate realm with Greek gods, succubi and all things mythological, Callista struggles to balance her new-found destiny and her life in the human realm.

I chase my six-year-old daughter out of the house on a cold winter day. I cut her new clothes to pieces and dirty her dainty little face with mud. Then, I give her all my savings. She looks at me tearfully and reaches out for me, wanting me to hold her. However, I harden my heart and push her away, saying, "Leave! Go to Bowen Group and look for their CEO, Logan Bowen. Show him my death certificate and your DNA test—he'll take you in." She sobs while looking at me. "Don't you want me anymore, Mommy? Let's go look for Daddy together." After a brief silence, I say, "I can't go with you. I lied to him back then to have you." Yes, I'm a liar. I orchestrated everything from meeting Logan, dating him, to ultimately leaving him with his child in my womb. Even the death certificate I've given my daughter is fake. From beginning to end, I've lied to him about everything except our daughter.

Are you ready to be taken on the journey of your life? To feel emotions you never expected to be able to feel just from reading a book? A series full of drama, love, and s*x! Alena is nothing but ordinary, or as she sees herself anyway. With a bad past, she hides away from anything and anyone. When her housemates force her to celebrate her party, Alena finds herself going home with one of her housemate's brothers. Only their passionate affair is cut short when the housemates arrive back home. With Jackson now on her mind, Alena steps out of her comfort zone to date him, only he has secrets hidden, one which he is afraid Alena will take the wrong way. His business is not for the faint-hearted, and well, Alena is one for fainting. Alena - A university student, living in the UK. She had to take time out due to a bad relationship. Jackson - A millionaire, with a dirty secret and a business that makes people stare wide-mouthed. He is a navy seal and sees his team as his family. His likes are selective! WARNING! This whole series involves scenes of BDSM, such as but not limited to, CNC, Punishments and funishments. Knife, fire, wax, and needle play. Voyeurism, humiliation, Bondage, Rope Bunnies, Breath play, Cuckolding, Edge play. I'm sure you get the picture, it involves a lot of aspects of BDSM. Not only these but the books also include FF, MFF, MFM, FFF, FMF and also RH style (3 men 1 woman) and lastly MFFFM. The books are not just happy smut either! As it features navy seals, there is also aspects of Kidnapping, attempted rape, talk of DV, drugging, addiction, torture and more! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Marco Gabriel is the cold-hearted and arrogant CEO of Marc's Lux company, a man who is tormented by his past. When he hires Patricia as his personal secretary, he sees her as a sweet, innocent girl who is no threat to him or his organization. But little does he know that she is in fact a survivor- a ruthless, dark-hearted agent who will do anything to get revenge. Patricia may well be able to seduce her way to his heart but will the cost be too great ? The Seducing art of Patricia is a gripping and a compulsive thriller that will keep you up reading half the night and stay with you long after the final page is turned.