Funny Dirty Quotes Novels & Stories

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

After a night of reckless indulgence, driven by the intoxicating allure of alcohol, her life began to unravel. She watched helplessly as everything she held dear - her lover, her family, her flourishing career - slipped away. Following her father's mysterious and untimely death, she transformed from a wealthy heiress into a humble rural dweller. Years later, returning to the bustling streets of New York with her two young children, she was determined to unearth the hidden truths of her past. Who was the enigmatic father of her children? What secrets surrounded her father's demise, and who was responsible for the downfall of their once-mighty family business? In her quest for justice, she confronted a world veiled in corporate conspiracies and personal vendettas. Yet, beneath the city's frenetic surface, a more profound darkness awaited. In the heart of this journey for truth and redemption, her two innocent children became her beacons of hope. Their laughter, innocence, and unwavering love provided her with the strength to face a world as unpredictable as it was unforgiving. Amidst the chaos of New York, her children were the anchors that kept her grounded in the face of adversity, offering the courage to confront a capricious world.

Out of her mundane life Ava sparked the interest of one of the celestial. Something she read from books and heard from stories but she chose to reject their existence. Will her personal vendetta cost her life or lead her to something better? A mere human who thought she was just caught in the crossfire among the gods. When in fact she was the root of it. 'Words are powerful because you wouldn't know who is listening, huh?' That's what she said on their first meeting. Still forcing herself not to believe even if the proof is right in front of her. His intent was to prove his innocence to her. Yet he entangled himself for a bigger mess, is it really? The mere spectator from before is now part of a dangerous game. His choices will determine not only his fate but of the two worlds and the entire humanity. The more he wanted to break free the more he gets drawn to her. An unexplained phenomenon he felt for the first time since he was created. 'You wouldn't know how it feels unless you go through the same ordeal.' He remembered what his friend told him and realized that he was eating his own words. He was willing to abandon everything just to be with her. Even if it meant being selfish for the first time. He is changing for the worse but can't let go of her now. Not when she already meant everything to him. When the hope of redemption seems impossible, a revelation is unleashed. More questions emerge instead of answers they needed. Will it become the cure or just another poison? What are they willing to sacrifice for their freedom and salvation? Do they even have that choice? Or would they cease to exist leaving no traces behind?

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

Quinn, a sweet, social and bubbly turned cold and became a badass. She changed to protect herself caused of the dark past experience with guys she once trusted. Evander will come into her life will become her greatest enemy, the villain of her life, but fate brought something for them, she fell for him but too late before she found out a devastating truth about him. What dirty secret of the villain is about to unfold? And how will it affect the badass?

Waking up in a gloomy damp cave is not a problem. Finding only a dirty men's shirt and high leather boots is also fixable. But what about the fact that you remember absolutely nothing? Who are you? Where are you from? Why was here? There is only one unknown ahead. Well, at least a noble knight got caught on the road. Picked up, washed, fed, but volunteered to help. And soon a young, handsome lord will appear. It doesn't matter that a vampire - we ourselves are toothy!

‎WARNING *MATURE CONTENTS* ‎ ‎THIS BOOK IS STRICTLY FOR ADULTS ONLY, 18+ ‎ ‎If you are not into mature, erotic, naughty, dirty, and steamy stories, please don't open this book. You've been warned‼️ ‎ ‎This book is a collection of forbidden hot stories with unfiltered, filthy raw sex. ‎ ‎The stories are steamy and toe-curling, and they would make you want more of the forbidden desires as they contain all manner of explicit sex. This story is perfect for those who crave a forbidden, quick, and steamy desire, and it would surely turn you on. ‎

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

Have you ever seen firflies shinning in complete dark field? Hopeful and beautiful isn't it? That's what Arham felt when Ayat came in His life. He found his life getting less darker by being around His firefly. Arham Khan is known to be rude,heartless businessman. Who can do anything to get what he wants. If he wants anything he get it by hook or by crook. Ayat Abbas is calm,caring and smart girl.who lives with her sister,Ayesha Abbas. What will happen when they will encounter? Will Ayat become his firefly or his darkness will engulf her live?

"Fangs, Friends, and Fumbling Feelings." 
 "What’s scarier—falling for your best friend or turning into a werewolf?” Dale thought coming out to his parents was the hardest thing he'd ever do. Then, he turned into a werewolf. With his best friend, Kirk—a self-appointed expert in bad advice and a fabulous wardrobe—by his side, Dale must navigate love, fur, and family drama… without biting anyone’s head off. All Dale had wanted was a little night out, but when a mysterious bite left him with strange urges and even stranger body hair, he realized his life just got much hairier. With his best friend Kirk, who’s more than happy to point out every supernatural misstep, Dale is plunged into a werewolf love triangle that pits him against tradition, transformation, and a particularly hunky alpha named Juke. As Dale fumbles through newfound powers (and fur), he has to figure out if love is worth the bite or if he’s doomed to be the next gay virgin martyr of the werewolf world. One thing’s for sure: Dale’s love life is about to get beastly! After a disastrous night out, Dale wakes up to find he’s gone from worrying about his rent to worrying about his claws. Now, with Kirk playing cheerleader and reluctant werewolf coach, Dale must decide between life as a lone wolf or rolling with the pack (and the ridiculously attractive alpha Juke). In this romcom packed with supernatural mishaps and laugh-out-loud twists, Dale learns that sometimes, love bites—and he just might like it.