Funny Girlfriend Joke Novels & Stories

My husband's ex-girlfriend left behind a cat that could nurse my daughter like a woman. I turned on my camera and livestreamed this horrifying scene. The stream instantly went viral, and people approached me offering high prices for the cat. When I agreed to sell it, my husband went crazy, clutching the cat and screaming that it could not be sold. Even my sister-in-law, who had always doted on me, furiously yelled at me for being brainless. In my previous life, I accidentally discovered the cat in our house nursing my daughter. I was terrified when I saw my daughter's satisfied expression! What made me feel even more horrified was that the cat's chest area had no fur at all. It was smooth and delicate, like a nursing woman's. Moreover, this cat usually either bared its teeth at me or scratched me with its claws. Every night, it slept in my husband's arms. Thinking of all this made my skin crawl, and I immediately decided to throw the cat out. Unexpectedly, my usually gentle and refined husband became incredibly frenzied. "I raised this cat with my own hands. It's no different from my child! If you dare throw away my cat, then we're getting divorced!" My sister-in-law also urged me to keep the cat. She even gave me sleeping pills, claiming I had been under too much stress lately. That night, my daughter died in my arms, and I also died in bed from excessive grief. Only after my death did I learn that the cat was my husband's ex, and my daughter was the medium for her life exchange. Their true purpose was to steal my body. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day I was just discharged from the hospital.

My girlfriend found out that my water bottle cost $30,000. She then demanded I buy her father an $8 million luxury apartment in the city center. I politely refused. She said furiously, “Don’t be so stingy! He’ll be your father-in-law someday. What’s wrong with getting a head start on being a good son-in-law?” She even compiled all of our expenses during our relationship into a PowerPoint presentation and demanded we split everything. “If splitting everything equally is too much trouble for you, then just cover it all. You can afford it! “My family and I have already discussed it. I’ll give you a one-dollar gift. It means you're my only one. How perfect is that?” When she noticed I was silent, she played her final card. “If you can’t agree, then let’s forget about getting married. “You’ll never see me, your darling baby, ever again!” I looked at the detailed list of expenses on the screen. It even included $2 she had spent on a bus ride to see me. I smiled and said, “Sure. I’ll give you a $143-million gift, with more romantic meaning. And I’ll buy that apartment for your father right now.”

Under my parents' request, I work as the finance officer in my childhood friend, Julius Sanford's company. But the moment he goes on a business trip, the new intern, Lizzie Dalton, rushes into my office and demands that I process her reimbursements. As I stare at the pile of receipts that come from luxury stores, all I feel is shock. "Lizzie, I can only use the company's funds to reimburse business expenses. Why are you asking me for reimbursements when all you did was buy clothes and bags of your own?" But as soon as my words fall, Lizzie splashes a cup of coffee at me instantly. "I'm the lady boss of this company! The company's funds are my funds too! Don't think you can just reject my receipts just because you know my husband!" I do my best to suppress my fury as I dig out the company's policy and reiterate, "No, I seriously cannot do that. The company's cash flow must be reflected in the books." Seeing as I refuse to yield to her no matter what, Lizzie calls Julius on the phone and begins whining to him. "Babe, since when do I need to ask your childhood friend for approval if I want to buy something I like for myself? Or could it be that she's acting so assertively because you two are secretly having an affair?" Julius panics and tells Lizzie that he has nothing to do with me. After that, he quickly releases an announcement on the company group just so he can defend Lizzie. "Lizzie Dalton is my wife! She's the second boss of this company other than me!" After that, Julius tags me in the group. "Hey, finance! You're not my mom here! I don't like you, so please stay out of my private matters! "I'd like nothing more than to let my own wife spend my own money! If you don't like that, you can pack up and leave!" Once Julius makes his stance clear, I change my tune and reimburse Lizzie the expenses she's claimed. But one week later, Julius finds himself staring at the list of debts that's 33 feet long when he returns from his business trip.

I bet you’ve heard the story about the player that gets played. Yes, that’s me, Dylan Ashford. I am in an open relationship with my long-term girlfriend, and when I realize she is only using me for my name, I discover I am in too deep until I meet her, the girl with the brown eyes that make my world spin upside down, and believe I still have a chance of the love I always dreamed of. People see me as a Joker and a Playboy, but deep down, I am a romantic, and I need to find my own true love. Watching my big brother fall in love gave me hope. My name is Joanna Thompson, but my friends know me as Jo. I work in a security firm, and after a traumatic breakup with my ex, I am looking forward to finding my true love, but my head gets turned by the one person I absolutely despise for everything that he represents. Dylan Ashford is everything I always hated in humankind. He is cocky and a player. This book can be read as a Standalone, but for better comprehension, you should read The Big Shot first. This is book number two of The Ashford book series.

The Monitor stumbles upon the body of the Joker and he realizes that the outcome he envisioned could be possible if he changed his life. So he hops back in time. He gives him a new life and a new family. Things don't go the way they should and the struggle pivots on staying sane. Life does not follow the rules that were given and the Joker hangs in the balance.

I first met Kai Valentine at the basketball court when I was ten years old. Kai was taller, louder, and faster than me. And from that day on, Kai became my best friend, my safe place. But then my parents passed away, and my family went bankrupt. After that, we weren't best friends anymore. We were just two strangers living in completely different worlds. Then, Kai starts "stealing" from me. He manages to steal every single girlfriend I've ever had. The day he steals my eighth girlfriend, I finally break. That's when I decide to fight back and get myself a boyfriend instead. That's right; I'm going to pretend to be gay! Let's see how he plans to steal this one. However, I never thought that my actions would make Kai go absolutely berserk. That night, Kai presses me against a dim corner in the stairwell. His fists slam into the concrete wall, his breath hot against my cheek. "If even he can be your boyfriend," he grits out, "then why can't I?" I laugh. "Are you out of your mind?" Kai just keeps pressing closer, his scorching gaze burning into me as his lips inch closer until he is just a breath away. "Do you still not get it?" Something hot and erect presses up against me. He then growls softly in my ear. "I never wanted to steal any of your girlfriends. The only person I ever wanted was you, Aiden Winston!"

“Strip naked and get in the bed." Liam said to the pretty lady. “But I am your best friend's girlfriend." Was her reply, where she stood. “So what are you doing in my hotel room?" Liam raised a brow. “I..I just can't help myself. I can't seem to get you off my head. I love my boyfriend, your best friend Felix but I want to see for myself what everyone is talking about. I want to experience what is making all the ladies seem to go crazy over you," she said shamelessly.... Four years in a row he has been voted as the most handsome man in the world! His father is the richest man in the world! Liam has his name in every girl's lips. They all sing of his praises. He performs like a god in bed and he has a massive third leg like that of a horse! Each night Liam always has a beautiful lady to warm his bed. He doesn't even care to know most of their names; all he is interested in is the treasure in-between their legs. Spoilt, arrogant, naughty and selfish, not even his best friend's girlfriend is spared from his sinful attraction. She too wants a taste of his legendary third leg! . What happens when Amelia, a pretty hotel cleaner, would catch his attention but instead of getting kissed he got slapped! Does she know the implications of what she has done? Can a lowly girl withstand the anger of an arrogant, naughty billionaire? Will their fiction spark an unexpected romance between these two? Find out in this thrilling adventure.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

If these three months pass and I don't shed a single tear because of you, Chris... you will apologize to me and my family at the door of our home in my city, on both knees in our neighborhood! His eyes narrowed and shone intensely, only seconds until he came towards me and I was still leaning on the door, he stood right in front of me and raised my chin with his left hand.. He forced me to stare at him and said coldly: I apologize to you?? you ?! I have heard many jokes in my life..but a funny joke like this..I have never heard of it..this was what our agreement stipulated before I threw myself into his world, but events took another turn that I did not expect..who are you!! Which one of them would you be? What is the nature of your colorful world?! Rather, the most important.. What is my fault in all these intertwining and where fate takes me?