Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

When down-on-her-luck Rennie Brooks accepts a job as a live-in nanny for the daughter of cold, enigmatic billionaire Shawn Wolfe, she believes it’s just another job—and another clingy child—until the little girl looks up at her with wide, innocent eyes and calls her “Mommy”… then begins mirroring her every habit. The connection is instant. The tension between her and Shawn, undeniable. Because Shawn isn’t just her new boss—he’s the man from her one unforgettable night eight years ago, the stranger who vanished before dawn, leaving behind nothing but memories and heartbreak. Rennie swore she’d never fall for him again. But under the same roof, every stolen glance and forbidden touch reignites the desire she thought she’d buried for good. Her fragile new beginning shatters when Shawn’s glamorous ex-wife suddenly returns, demanding custody of the little girl Rennie has come to love as her own. Just as she prepares to walk away, a devastating secret surfaces— Diane isn’t Shawn’s daughter. She’s Rennie’s. Now Rennie must fight for the child she never knew was hers and face the hardest choice of her life: between the man who broke her heart and the one who might finally mend it.

Isang malaking aral sa buhay ng isang tao na dapat huwag mong husgahan ang iyong kapwa ayon sa nakikita mo lamang. Kung hindi mo kilala ang kanyang tunay na pagkatao mas maigi kung mananahimik ka at huwag kang magbitaw ng mga nakakasakit na salita. Huwag mainggit sa tagumpay ng iba. Kung nais mo rin na magtagumpay kagaya ng kapwa mo. Isaisip mo na kung kaya niya kakayanin mo rin na pagtagumpayan ang narating niya. Maaaring mabilis ang pag-angat niya dahil mas maabilidad siya kaysa sa'yo. Dahan-dahan ka lang, balang araw may mararating ka rin. Kahit gaano man ka bagal ang lakad ng isang pagong kung dala niya ang kanyang sapat na determinasyon makakarating parin siya sa kanyang paruruunan. Ang pagkakaroon ng matatag, matapang at mapang-unawa na katuwang sa buhay ay isang biyaya ng panginoon. Ako ay matatawag na nagmula sa madilim na nakaraan. Mula sa sirang pamilya, kinamumuhian ang haligi ng tahanan dahil pinagpalit niya kami sa kanyang kabit. Maswerti na rin kami dahil may matapang at matatag kaming ina na nagsumikap para kami ay gabayan. Napakaswerti rin niya ng muling nakatagpo ng kabiyak na handang tumayo bilang aming ama. Pinangako ko sa aking sarili na hindi ko gagayahin ang aking ama. Pinangako kong panindigan ko ang pamilya bubuuhin. Ngunit sa isang kapusokan nakagawa ako ng isang kasalanan na lingid sa aking kaalaman. Tanadhana ng diyos na mapalapit ako sa babae na kapatid ng aking nagawan ng kasalanan. Minsan kong hinusgahan sa kasalanan na hindi naman niya ginawa. Naging roller coaster ang buhay pag-ibig namin. Pero sabi nga nila gaano man kalakas ng bagyo at unos sisibol parin ang isang liwanag na magbigay pag-asa na tapos na ang kalamidad.

This is a raw, hardcore LGBTQ+ erotica collection, packed full with relentless power play and savage BDSM scenes. There will be dirty, aching scenes, so explicit that they will leave your hot sex throbbing, begging and desperate for more. This collection of forbidden MxM stories delivers merciless dominance, dark intense obsession, brutal and intense BDSM. Not to forget the hardcore smut so wicked and explicit they will cause you to blush and beg all at the same time. Scenes which will push every single limit deep inside of you until the lines between pleasure and guilt blur into pure sin. Expect double the filth in this dark, taboo MxM tale with no limits, no mercy—just pure, sinful and chaotic indulgence. Prepare to ache, prepare to sin—because sin has never tasted this good.

Noah Davis is a successful businessman, handsome, but due to a bad experience in love has promised never to believe in love again, however, he is willing to do anything for his son, even marry someone he does not love. Emily Wilson is a young, tender and intelligent woman, but full of economic problems. After moving around several places without finding a good job to help her parents, she decides to become a nanny. With a contract in place, many feelings involved will make Noah and Emily's lives take an unexpected turn. Will they be able to set aside their prejudices and face their feelings? How far will Emily and Noah go for love?

The moment I was pushed into the river by my six stepbrothers and drowned there, I was still clutching a piece of candy my mom had given me. When I open my eyes again, I curl up in my swaddle as a one-month-old baby. That's when I notice six children glaring at me darkly with their hands outstretched, ready to strangle me. As I stare at them, I begin cursing them out mentally. "Just you wait till the day I can speak, you bastards!" My mom rushes out of the kitchen instantly. "It's a rare occasion for me to cook for the family, so I told you to keep an eye on your baby sister. Why are you cursing all of a sudden?" The brothers swap glances with each other in confusion. The oldest brother, Alex Finch, scratches his head. "You must be hearing things, Mom. We were about to play with Meadow. No one was speaking just now." Upon hearing Alex's shameless words, I continue cursing him out silently. "You're the most shameless bastard I've ever seen! When I'm three years old, you'll plot to sell me to an old single man in the countryside! Screw you!" Mom's hands tremble slightly at that moment. She quickly picks me up, her eyes as wide as saucers. I flash a toothless grin at her in return. "Don't be scared, Mom. This time, I'll definitely protect you!" Watch as I, a one-month-old baby, send my bastard of a father as well as the six ungrateful brats to prison!

All she ever wanted was to be loved. All she ever wanted was to escape the cage she was born into, but betrayal shatters her world when her fiancé elopes with her sister and her rival blackmails her into marrying him. Now, her goal seems far from reach. Zachary Wellington—cold, ruthless, and feared by everyone except one woman: Valerie Hampton, the one woman he has despised since high school. She bullied his first love, and the girl died after discovering a secret about Valerie. Years later, they are powerful rivals, well known in the business world. He calls her Ursula—the villain in his love story—and she calls him Dracula, the devil’s spawn. The next time they meet, Zachary drops a bombshell: she must marry him, or her father’s dirty dealings will be exposed to the public. Left with no choice and determined to protect her father’s reputation, she agrees to the marriage. Fueled by old wounds and a twisted thirst for revenge, Zachary turns their union into a twisted game of chess guided by cold rules, where every move is calculated and trust is a luxury neither of them can afford. But what begins as punishment spirals into something far more dangerous: desire, obsession, and secrets that refuse to stay buried. From betrayal and childhood trauma to a violent heir lurking in the shadows, Valerie and Zachary are about to uncover a truth that could destroy them both. Love was never part of the plan. But in a marriage built on lies and vengeance, it might be their only way out.

[18+] “I want you to submit yourself to me. Submit your body to me. I don’t want your soul, your heart, or your devotion, and you will get the same from me. Pleasure for pleasure.” The contract was made up, and clear. It was a deal between two strangers, who agreed to remain strangers, despite being intimate. “What if we end up breaking the terms?” She asked in a timid voice, which was so unlike her. “The contract shall become null and void. And we will part ways without looking back.” Theodore Gilbert took confident steps towards her. Taking her chin between his thumb and index finger, he tilted her face to make her look up. Her lower lip quivered at the touch. “I want your body, Natalie. To do as I please for a price. I dare you to fall for me.”

My cousin, Isabelle Cox, dies of cancer. However, my adoptive parents, who have always loved her the most, don't shed a single tear. Instead, they go on an overseas trip with my adoptive brother, Cedric Cox. After they return, they give me an exquisite doll and ask me to put it right next to my bed every night. My adoptive mother, Vivian Mason, looks at my swollen eyes and smiles tenderly. "Why, you're such a grateful and sentimental kid. This is such a pretty doll. Let it stay by your side and accompany you like it's your sister, alright?" I agree. Later, my body becomes increasingly weak, and I sleep all day. One day, when I wake up, I am horrified to find that I am trapped inside the doll and can't move at all. My deceased cousin, Isabelle, became "me"! Beaming widely, she cuts my hair and also my limbs one by one. Then, she throws my mutilated body into the fire. As the flames engulf me, I see my adoptive family standing behind her. On their faces, they show happy and relieved expressions. When I open my eyes again, I am back to the day when they give me the doll.

🔥 THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEX SCENES, POSSESSIVE ALPHA ENERGY, AND INTENSE EMOTIONAL TENSION. READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED. When Liana Rivers fell into bed with her brooding, dominant, dangerously irresistible stepbrother, Killian Wolfe, she gave him everything, her heart, her body, her virginity. But when she discovered she was pregnant and found out he was engaged to another woman, she ran quietly, carrying a shattered heart and a baby he would never know. Now, seven years later, she’s a struggling single mom working as a hotel janitor, doing everything she can to hide her past, and her son from the ruthless Alpha who broke her. Until one night, he finds her again. Richer. Darker. More powerful than ever. And he wants her back. Killian isn’t just here to play house. He wants control. Of her life. Her body. Her son. And this time, he's not asking. She ran from him once. But now that he knows the truth… He’ll burn the whole damn world to keep what’s his.

“Who am I to you?I want to hear you moan it” “You are my sugar dada,” I responded huskily, my lips trembling faintly. “And you are…?” he teased, his voice thickening with heat, while he devoured me with his eyes as he swallowed hard. “I’m your little toy,” I whispered,my voice dripping with desire. “That’s my princess,” he said with a wicked grin, his tongue trailing slowly around my neck. His hand slid up and grabbed my breasts, squeezing gently before his mouth found my nipple. He tugged with his teeth, sending a jolt through me. ***** Charlotte Dame wasn’t in London to cry over a breakup. She just wanted a change of scenery, a little peace, not another man. Then she bumped into Clinton Hinns— a 53-year-old billionaire way too sexy for his age. She was 27, guarded, and not looking to fall for someone twice her age. But some temptations don’t knock, they crash right into you. From quiet seduction, and risky demands, she soon finds herself wrapped up in wild evenings, erotic adventures, and illicit cravings tangled in reckless trios and thrilling paths of love, desire, and wicked indulgence awaiting Charlotte. She indulges her desires and embraces her freedom to the fullest. Her Sugar Daddy is irresistible, that’s for sure. He’s older, and It doesn’t bother her. He showers her with luxurious gifts and pampers her to the fullest. She’s definitely living her dream life, but a dark truth comes to light — one that could turn her world upside down and crush her reality. What if it’s more terrifying than she could have imagined? When it finally hits her, just one thought fills her mind. let’s hop on this ride! RATED 18 - proceed with caution