Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

I was locked in a fridge for 40 days while the uncensored photos of me spread like wildfire across the internet. In the face of the salacious rumors about me, my mother reacted by reposting them. Then, she turned to warn my sister, "Look at how disgusting the entertainment industry is. Don't join it, alright? Stay home and inherit your sister's assets instead. My dearest daughter must be innocent and pure, unlike her." She forgot. She forgot I only joined this 'disgusting' industry to pay for her cancer treatment.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” A soft murmur reached Sierra’s ears as she closed her eyes. “Is there another way?” “You’ve already heard what the doctor said about Callie’s condition, right? There’s no other way, Sierra.” Axton lifted his head from the crook of Sierra’s neck. “So, let’s get this done now and give me the money according to our deal,” Sierra said confidently while giving him a long kiss. *** Sierra signed an agreement to become a surrogate mother for her best friend, Callie, who couldn’t get pregnant by herself due to lupus. As part of the arrangement, Sierra would receive compensation, which she planned to use to pay off the debt left by her bastard father. Unfortunately, after they finalized the agreement, Callie was declared unable to produce eggs for fertilization. In the end, the only solution rested with Sierra. Callie asked her best friend to sleep with her husband so they could have a child together, a baby that would be raised as Axton and Callie’s own. Having no other choice, she slept with her boss, who also happened to be her best friend’s husband, and eventually became pregnant with his child. However, tragedy struck when Callie fell seriously ill during Sierra’s seventh month of pregnancy and passed away. So, what happens next? What will happen to Sierra and the baby she is pregnant with? What if there are many hidden truths between them? What if Sierra and Axton had a connection in the past before Axton married Callie? What if Axton and Callie’s relationship was built on a web of lies that Callie kept hidden? As secrets from their pasts begin to unravel, how will Sierra and Axton face the future?

He was a well known race car driver. Popular with the women and knew his way around the track and bed. She was his sister’s best friend. When Ricky Andonite gets in a terrible on track accident and needs help while he recovers. Will Shelby Cage step in and be his hero or will she walk away and into the arms of his rival Logan Valentine. This book is now going to be a series

Noelle Carter thought she left her mistakes in Santorini. After catching her fiancé cheating, she escapes on a ten-day solo trip with no plans. Just space to breathe. That’s where she meets Roman. No last names. No questions. That was the deal. But Roman doesn’t feel like a mistake. He feels like clarity. They talk for hours, stay up too late, and fall into easy, consuming Sex. With him, Noelle is fearless, sharing truths she’s never spoken out loud, because it’s safe when she's never going to see him again. When she leaves, she’s lighter. A little sad, but okay. Missing him feels harmless,after all, how much damage can a memory do? She’s wrong. Days later, at an event, she sees him again. Roman Ashford. Her ex-fiancé’s estranged stepbrother. Five years abroad, now back and looking at her like he already knows everything. Because he does. Noelle wants to run. Roman doesn’t let her. He remembers Santorini. Every conversation. Every touch. Every moment she let herself unravel. And he has no intention of pretending it never happened. Within weeks, he buys her company just to keep her close. Noelle tells herself it’s too complicated. The family tension is already fragile. Getting involved would be reckless. She almost believes it. Then she misses her cycle. She's not pregnant. At a family event, Roman’s mother and Noelle’s father come face to face and it’s clear they share a past no one ever spoke about. Then someone said Roman and Noelle look… similar. What if the problem isn’t just complicated but forbidden? The truth unravels slowly, then all at once. They are not related. They never were. The reason Noelle held onto is gone. And Roman is done waiting.

When the half-mile sprint test is about to begin, Quiana Sullivan, the class president, and I have applied to be exempted from it. My own mother, who's the homeroom teacher of my class, approves Quiana's application with a smile. But she then throws mine to the floor. "You're having a chest pain, you say? I can't believe you're able to come up with such lies just to avoid the half-mile sprint! I'd have known if you had a heart condition! "Quiana is weak by nature, not to mention she's on her period right now, so she can't handle the agony. What about you, hmm? You've always been perfectly healthy, yet now you're telling me that you're suffering from heart pain? "Don't go around embarrassing me just because you want to slack off! I don't want others claiming that I'm being biased toward my own child! As long as you're still alive and kicking, you must finish the half-mile course no matter what!" Left without a choice, I can only return to the field. The cold wind makes me feel even dizzier now. My heart keeps contracting uncontrollably against my will. Suddenly, it just stops pumping. The next thing I know, I collapse onto the grassy field heavily. When my consciousness is about to flicker to darkness, my mom finally walks over to me. But she merely kicks my arm with a frown on her face, and her tone remains glacial. "Stop playing dead. Get up right now." She doesn't realize that I can never open my eyes ever again. Isn't this great, Mom? No one will ever claim that you're biased toward your own child. I've used my life to prove how fair and just you are. You must be happy now, right?

Isang maunawain, masipag, malambing at mabait na asawa si Janine, kaya naman nakatagpo rin siya nang isang responsableng lalaki si Rigor. Masaya ang buhay mag-asawa nila, kahit na tila hindi tanggap ng kanyang ina si Rigor, ganun rin naman ang mama ni Rigor sa kanya. Ngunit hindi iyon naging hadlang sa pagbuo nila ng masayang pamilya. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan ay makakagawa ng matinding kasalanan si Rigor iyon ay ang nagawa niyang pagtaksilan ang kanyang asawa. Magawa kayang patawarin ni Janine si Rigor para sa buo at masayang pamilya nila o tuluyan niyang kalimutan ito at baguhin ang sarili. Paano sa pagbabago niya ay muling may dumating na bagong lalaki sa buhay niya. Sino ang pipiliin niya ang lalaking minahal niya noon at winasak ang puso niya o ang lalaking muling nagparamdam ng pagmamahal sa kanya?. "Gusto ko nang makakausap, pero wala akong makausap." "Gusto kong umiyak, pero wala akong maiyakan." "Gusto kong umalis, pero wala akong mapupuntahan." "I need a comfort but nobody's care. I want to run to leave the problem. But the world was so cruel. My grief seems endless." -Janine Mhae Santos-

He is my only chance at freedom. She is the daughter of my enemy. Will their love survive? Zain As the Sultan of one of the most powerful countries in the Middle-East, I need to find my Sultana. But I don’t intend to have heirs or even get married. Until I stumbled into Nasrin Elbaz. I cannot resist her. So I will claim her as mine. My Sultana. My Wife. My Lover. I, Sultan Zain Al Latif, will propose to Princess Nasrin for a marriage. If she rejects me… Well, I have been told I can be quite persuasive and demanding when I want to be. Nasrin He is a Sultan and I am the Princess of the country he is nemesis with. I don’t belong in his wealthy country that bleeds gold and his Palace. I am trying to hold on to what little freedom I have. No way can I fall for some dirty talking or his obsidian eyes curling with hunger whenever he sees me. Even if my body craves his tender touch and his sinful mouth. I have to get my freedom and find a way to escape the proposals of marriage. Without his help, thank you very much. “I am asking you to marry me.” “Are you asking or ordering, Sultan?” “I am asking, Princess.” I smiled at her. “For now.”

Serene Gomez's life is more like a mess, how does she cope with a gambling father, a mentally unstable mother, and a sick little brother. Her life was riddled with piled-up debts that she must settle. The ones who should stand by her side were her greatest downfall. All she wanted was to settle her debts and live peacefully but upon encountering him, her plans crumbled... Steve Jobbs, a thirty-two-year-old billionaire who was under the pressure of his grandfather to get married and have an heir. The young CEO only have his business at heart and nothing more. The affairs of love was useless to him. To abide by his grandfather's will, he also needed to find a woman... With the contract between them, can love happen?

This is a seductive book with a lot of mixed up, wild and taboo smut stories. All stories here are a product of my imagination.

EROTIC🔞🔞🔞18+ Who says a step brother and step sister can't be besties both in the open and... in the secret? It wasn't like that at the beginning until the unexpected took place between Tara and her hot step brother, Dennis. On their first night alone, with their parents out of town to celebrate their honeymoon, Tara accidentally caught Dennis masturbating in his room. She's kicked out at first, but curiously returns to see if he's playing with his dick the second time. Her plan backfires when she's caught by Dennis, who pulls Tara into his room and makes her kneel before his cock, tempting her to have a taste of it. She wants to resist. She knows this isn't right. But what happens next when Dennis takes control and slips his cock into Tara's dripping mouth?