Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Faith McChrystal My mom taught me one important thing "Never trust anyone because they all leave when they're are done sucking you dry" And yes, that's how I ended up being a 24 year old single woman with no boyfriend, no girlfriend, no bestfriend but a shitty job and apartment. Life was normal until I found the job at C&S Clothing as the executive assistant. It's not a problem to work for a gay couple right? The problem is when the two sinister hot-as-hell bosses are the epitome of every fantasy you've had. Jared Scott and Hardin Calu were going to take me to an early grave. Hardin Calu I HATE WOMEN. I hate every fucking thing about them. That's why I was married to one and only man I had in my life. Jared! He was everything one could pray for. He saved me from my old self and turned me to a loving person. But fuck me, I was still cold and hard as ice. Everything that involved women made my skin crawl painfully. Their rosy scents and gloss-smeared lips, their tied skirts and slutty suits, fucking everything about them was a reminder of what happened. What made me scared. Until the little Faith McChrystal walked into that office. Jared Scott. Money! Power! A good marriage! I had it all. Life was beautiful with my man. Hardin Calu! He was a loving husband who'd wake me up with breakfast, and a kiss on my head, who'd kiss every pain away. Who made me see the world differently. I was complete with him. Or so I thought! Because a fucking nerdy chick walked into our office for interview and turned everything upside down!

Krystal is a simple average school going girl who is hated by everyone other than her 2 friends. She meets a cold rude rich guy Richard who is devoid of cares and love .They first meet as desk mate and they begin to help each other in various circumstances and they ultimately fall in love. As they were falling for each other, Richard's childhood friend also falls for her without knowing that Richard was also falling for her. He openly confesses his feelings for her while Richard hides his feelings. Where will their relationship take them to???

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.

"Daddy, where is mommy?" Little Aaron asks his daddy. Hearing this Christian's heart twists in pain. His eyes fill up with both pain and regret. He looks at the sky and smiles painfully. "Your mommy lives in the sky," "Can't we call her down, daddy? I miss her?" Angela asks this time innocently Christian looks at them. He doesn't have the answer. How can he make understand his five years, innocent children that their mommy is no more? "If we request God, will he send mommy down?" Aaron asks with so much hope that Christian nods his head helplessly. Christian thinks, that if this lie can bring happiness to their faces then he can do it again and again. But, one day Christian's world stands still when his son speaks up, "Daddy, Mommy is Running Away Catch Her"

"Mr Charlie, your son fought in school again" Charlie's assistant reported, Charlie was shocked, he didn't remember having another son in College again. "You fulfilled your promise, so, I will make you my wife no matter what, and I won't take a no for an answer," Charlie told Margret without mincing words. Margret didn't expect her return to Houston with two of her triplets will be very dramatic, a man she doesn't recognise claiming she promised to give him triplets, and another man who wanted to snatch her children from her. And her other son, who doesn't recognise her as his mother.

Aaron and Alexia are twins from birth, they both did everything together, growing up they fell in love with each other but each of them tried hiding their feelings for one another. But such feelings couldn't be hiding for that long, such feelings couldn't be held back. Both twins find themselves giving in to the desires between them and finds it really hard to change their relationship back to the way it was before. The deed has been done, there was no changing anything. Would Alexia and her brother get to stop the taboo they are already entangled in? Would the lust between them turn to love? Would their dirty secret come out in the open? Read!! Read!! Read!! To get all the answers.

Jenar's string of misfortunes began when she agreed to marry Julian Liandra, Jakarta's most handsome and richest widower. Jenar lost her youth and freedom, and regret cannot give back. Being a stepmother and dealing with Jenar's three stepchildren, each with their personality from Julian's first marriage is a struggle for Jenar. The greatest source of conflict in Jenar's marriage is the growing illicit love between Jenar and Julio, her stepson. Her forbidden romance with Julio ultimately led to her tragedy. Since the first day of her pregnancy after marrying Julian, Jenar has struggled with how to respond to the question "Whose baby is this?"

BOOK TWO OF THE MAFIA MEN SERIES. *** He taught her how to live. She taught him how to love. *** Everyone called him a monster even the people who were close to him. But I was the only one who saw the troubled man hiding demons from his past. They called him a killing machine; he took lives without a second thought. But he saved mine, he saved me. I had no idea my savior would come in the form of a scarred face, covered in tattoos, who can't—or choose not to—speak a word to me. But I decided to take a risk. I opened the cage where his demons lived and I set them free. And then... I handed my heart to the monster to do as he pleased. TRIGGER WARNING: This book is provocative. It is categorized as DARK ROMANCE for a reason. It will not be for everyone. If you are a reader with certain triggers or sensitivities common to the dark romance genre then know that this book contains: a very dirty talker hero, sexual degradation, dubcon, rough play, and s&m themes

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?