Funny Proverbs Novels & Stories

Three hours after my engagement banquet ended, I was stuffed into a burlap sack and thrown straight into the ocean. By the time deep-sea divers found me, my body had swollen into something grotesque and barely recognizable. The police called my fiancé right away to come identify the remains, but he could not have sounded less interested. "So, she's dead. So what? I'll show up at the funeral when the time comes." Left with no choice, the police dialed the second starred contact in my phone. It was my own brother. He laughed so hard that he doubled over. "Dead? Last I checked, it's not April Fools'. Not a funny joke. And do me a favor. Tell Selene Corvin I couldn't care less about her corpse. Throw it back in the ocean to feed the fish. I don't care." He did not know that I did end up as fish food for a very long time. The moment my remains appeared on that massive screen, however, both my fiancé and my brother lost their minds.

Meet Emily Collins, the devoted secretary with a knack for mismatched fashion, and Oliver Sterling, the brilliant but enigmatic CEO. Their worlds collide when Oliver, facing an unexpected ultimatum from his grandfather, turns to Emily for an unconventional solution. While Emily dreams of saving a million dollars and bidding goodbye to her corporate life, Oliver's goal is to introduce his secret actress girlfriend to his family. Caught between family expectations and a reluctant girlfriend, Oliver proposes a daring deal to Emily: a six-month contract where she pretends to be his girlfriend. The offer comes with a tempting promise—enough money to fast-track Emily's savings goal. As the two plunge into their fake romance, cue the funny twist—Emily knows every quirk and detail about Oliver, right down to the size of his ring finger, but Oliver doesn't know a thing about Emily. With the lines between reality and pretense blurring, the stage is set for a romantic collision where one is poised to fall in love, and the other is destined to fall even harder.

I need a wife. Now. It doesn’t have to do with love and living the good life. This is all about getting the money my billionaire father left to me. And I’m running out of time. But who proposes to a stranger after the first date? Me. That’s who. As if I have another choice. Luck is on my side though, and a beautiful model shows up in my office. Single? Gorgeous? Funny? All of the above. Our first date goes so well that I feel unsure about my decision to do this thing with her—you know, fake it. I put it off and decide to do it later, to ask for her help after we get to know each other better. But I like her more and more each time we meet, and eventually, offering her a ring isn’t for my dad’s money—it’s because I want her more than anything else in the world. Besides, who’s going to know if it’s fake or real? And does it really matter? Yeah. It does. To her…

On the day I drive home from my business trip, I find out that my husband, Matthew Channing, has occupied my parking slot. His SUV is parked haphazardly between two parking slots, leaving me without any space to park my own car at all. I find it funny that Matthew is such a klutz when it comes to things like this. So, I take a video of the situation and upload it to the Internet. Little do I know that it will go viral shortly afterward. Thinking that everyone will laugh at Matthew with me, I'm surprised when I see the comment section. "Don't tell me you got tricked by your husband for real! It's obvious that he has a mistress at home with him right now! Once you reach home and call him to move his car, he'll know that you're back!" "Lady, leave the car be! What's more important right now is the mistress in your bed!" "Do not call your husband and tell him to move his car no matter what! Right now, you have to go home and catch him in the act!"

On the aftermath of her father's death, Sophia is stuck with her evil stepmom who turned her, a daddy's little princess into a hardworking slave. At last Sophia escapes the house which swiftly became a prison to her. She had to, her stepmom have asked her to sign all her father's property which he had put in Sophia's name over to her. Sophia bailed. But on the same night she escaped, her stepmom kills the governor, her father's old friend who came to visit, and unfortunately she frames Sophia for it with active evidence. Sooner Sophia's whole life distorted before her eyes as she comes to find out that her stepmom and the cops weren't the only one after her, three of the biggest Mafia families in the continent wanted her father's fortune too. It looks like he was involved in something big. ... "The clock's ticking... (Sophia) is an enemy of the three Mafia families who rule this continent, plus the government itself. She's just a lone ram who has managed to upset a pride of lions." In this journey hate disguised itself as love and collided upon Sophia. True love yearning for her fortune instead of her heart. Who said there ain't men who're golddiggers? Eventually, Sophia's who's already stubborn and sharp-mouthed, had to learn to be tough and survive by being a trickster as life tosses her around. Yeah she is a daddy's girl, nowadays a daddy's girl who won't bat a eye before she pulls a trigger.

As a rogue Lizzie is constantly looking over her shoulder, never able to stay in one place for too long. That is until Evan walks into the diner she is working. The Moon Goddess had other plans for her!

"Can I kiss you?" Asked Mr. Harold, the Mathematics teacher who has been the subject of lusty daydreaming of my best friend, Zetta, and other female students. “Eh? Nooooo!” I answered nervously. We are in the gym. "Why?" He asked he dared to ask?! Duh! "You are a teacher and I am your student...duh." I take it as my way out of the gym. He asked me to talk inside the building?! Huh... I should know better, than not trusting any human with a penis! Why? Because they are the real pervert. That teacher dared to ask for a kiss? He is granted for a great punch, kicks or maybe slap? That was the very first time of my nightmare in high school, he stole my first kiss and stole my great-teen-life.

After his joke of a marriage came to an end when his wife ran off with a guest from his resort, Reno Albury decides one night stands are more his speed- especially if they were blonde and blue eyed like his wife. So he was jaded, at least he was having some fun. Until he came face to face with a blonde and blue eyed girl at his sister’s wedding he couldn’t play the fast game with. Loraine Larson has a secret that nobody knows thanks to her father’s money and high powered friends. She’s spent years trying to forget the hell she went through in Paris. Wanting to test her new found strength she goes back to the scene of the crime only to come back with more nightmares. She can’t sleep without seeing that monster’s face, but she dicovers a shield for that in the arms of her bestfriend's brother, and now she’s determined to stay in them no matter the cost. This book follows I Won Him At A Billionaire Auction.

What happens when a wedding planner has to work alongside a temperamental and annoying bride's brother to plan the wedding of the year? Chaos, pure chaos. The last thing Violet needed was a man to touch her slightly not so flat stomach (or perhaps it was a little more than slightly not to flat) and press her against a wall. She wasn't a model, and she knew it. So naturally, she just sucks her stomach in. Violet prided herself on creating the best weddings society has ever seen, the last thing she needed was to go head to head with the bride's brother, when planning Melbourne's biggest wedding of the year. Alex was everything Violet could dream about, but not touch. Handsome, built straight out of a magazine with the six pack. Was his interest in Violet genuine, or just another charm for the bedrest?

The things that have to happen in the universe to lead us to a very particular moment in time are often a mystery but for Pearl and Corey, just getting them in the same room isn’t enough. They both fight their attraction to each other for different reasons, but their fire is an eruption in the making. Pearl has a nine to five during the day, but plays the guitar and dreams of making it big at night. Her long time fiance and her best friend have a nasty secret that forever alters her life. Corey is a bass player in the hard rock band Feisty, determined to be a bachelor for life even though two of his best friends have tied the knot. Can these two come together and accept that the universe is determined to win? **This is book three of five, of my Feisty series. This can be read as a stand alone book but you will be better able to follow if you read them in order.**