Funny Quotes From Novels Novels & Stories

This bottle girl, new to the club, always demanded I serve her. And only me. She was good for business, so I let it slide. Then, one weekend, two in the morning. I’m in bed in the penthouse. She calls, barking orders at me. “I’m in the ‘Paradise’ suite. Get up here with a bottle and get me right.” I almost laughed. The girl was an idiot. “It’s 2 AM. Are you ordering me around? I’m not your bodyguard or your dealer.” She sneered, her voice dripping with arrogance. “My cousin is the club manager. You should feel honored to serve me. By the way, your ‘protection fee’ is late this month. Get your ass over here now, or I’ll have my cousin dump you in the Chicago River.” Oh. She had no idea. The docks along the Chicago River… they’re mine. All of them.

Two best friends have their life upside down after a drastic event took place in one's life. They sure separated, but she loved him. Love. It was more than just a best-friend feeling. Things changed, people changed, everything changed. But her love was still the same. Can she ever gather the courage to tell him? Will he ever accept her?

Mercy had loved Bradley Cornell for a long time. Bradley came from a powerful and wealthy family, and he was supposed to marry another woman he loved. On the wedding day, that woman ran away with another man, leaving Bradley embarrassed in front of everyone. To stop the scandal from spreading, Mercy stepped forward and agreed to marry Bradley. She had admired him quietly for years, so even though the marriage started suddenly, she hoped that if she stayed by his side and treated him well, he might slowly come to love her. But the marriage never became warm. Bradley treated Mercy politely but without affection. He spent most of his time working and rarely came home early. When he did come home, he acted distant. Mercy felt more like a stranger living in his house than his wife. Still, Mercy stayed loyal. She waited for him every night and tried to take care of everything for him. She believed that one day he would notice her efforts.

My best friend, Patrick Morris, always pops my fiancee's cherry before my wedding in order to ensure that I have an amazing wedding night with her. Every time, he will record them going at it before sending it to me. "I've taught your fiancee 1000 positions in bed. You're really lucky to be with her on your wedding night!" After Patrick has snatched 99 fiancees from me, I suffer from a mental breakdown. Then, I sell my apartment and leave the city. Finally, I get to meet my true love, Ariel Booker. But on my wedding day, Patrick shows up in front of me, disguised as a makeup artist. "Caleb, you can get married once I'm done grooming your fiancee for you!" After that, he drugs me before climbing into Ariel's bed. Thank goodness I'm able to wake up on time and rush into the bedroom with a group of people flocking behind me. Later on, I have Patrick locked up behind bars. But Ariel decides to run over my legs with her car, effectively crushing them. When I'm stuck in bed as a cripple, she throws my mom, who's severely ill, into a meat grinder. "I'm free to give my virginity to whoever I want. Why the hell are you meddling with my business? Since you're the reason behind Patrick's imprisonment and suicide, you and your mom should pay the price with your lives!" When I open my eyes, I've returned to the day of my wedding. At the moment, Patrick is dressed as a makeup artist while stamping my face with a meat-grading stamp.

Elena Sterling gave Mark everything, her brilliant business mind, her unwavering loyalty, her entire life. She built his billion-dollar empire from nothing while he slowly erased her from the story. Now, after years of being the perfect wife and mother, she's become invisible in her own home. Mark flaunts his mistress while their children wish Veronica was their real mother. When Elena discovers Mark's plan to divorce her, claim she's mentally unstable, and steal custody of their children, she realizes the man she loved never existed at all. With nothing but the clothes on her back and a fierce determination to survive, Elena takes a job as a night cleaner at Knight Industries. There, she catches the attention of Arthur Knight, a mysterious billionaire CEO who sees the brilliant woman hiding beneath her broken exterior. As Elena transforms from discarded wife to unstoppable force, she uncovers Mark's darkest secrets and begins planning the perfect revenge. But when Arthur offers her something she never thought she'd have again—real love—Elena must choose between the safety of starting over and the satisfaction of bringing down the man who destroyed her. Just when Elena thinks she's finally won, Mark makes one last desperate move that could cost her everything she's fought to rebuild... But Elena Sterling didn't survive this long to lose now. Will Elena reclaim her power and find true love, or will Mark's final betrayal destroy her chance at happiness forever? In this explosive tale of revenge, redemption, and second chances, nothing is what it seems and everyone has secrets worth killing for.

It's 11:30 pm. Home alone, I decide to order some takeout. When the map shows the delivery guy is zero miles away, I receive a call from him. I pick up, only to hear unsettling silence from the other end. I hang up, annoyed. The next moment, the guy texts me, "Sorry, I'm hearing-impaired and unable to speak. I called to notify you to pick up your food as soon as possible. I can't explain things over the phone, and I apologize for that." Then comes another text. "You must've been waiting for a long time. I've left your order at your door, so please pick it up as soon as you can." Just as I prepare to open the door, I see bars of live comments—reminiscent of livestream chats—floating right before my eyes. "Don't open the door! That dude isn't a delivery guy at all! He's a murderer!" "He called you to check if you're a woman living alone!" "Seriously, why are all thriller story protagonists always so dumb? The delivery guy is obviously suspicious, yet she still wants to open the door."

Three years later—they came back. Alpha Marcus knelt before me, his voice trembling. “Come home with us… please?” Liam knelt through the night. “Nina, I regret it. Forgive your brother…” Cole came straight from the battle field, soaked in blood, his eyes red and wet. “Look at me. Just pity me one more time, will you?” I said nothing. Because my heart had already died during those three years. Later, another Alpha stood at my side. I was the only one in his eyes. I smiled. Those people I used to know only dared to watch from afar. They didn’t even dare to come close.

Luna Elena Frost was never chosen, only assigned. Bound to Alpha Alaric Ashbourne through a cold contractual marriage, she endures three years as a Luna in name only. He never comes home, never defends her, and never looks at her, while his heart belongs to another woman. At his grandmother’s funeral, Alaric publicly dissolves their marriage, humiliating Elena before the entire pack. In that moment, she finally understands the truth. She was never wanted. But the Moon has not abandoned her. A forgotten night resurfaces. Her long-silent wolf begins to awaken. And secrets buried within her bloodline start to surface, drawing danger from every direction. Cast out by the pack that once used her, Elena must flee, survive, and uncover her true power. Only then does the Alpha realize his mistake. By the time he turns back in regret, the Luna he rejected may already be gone forever.

“I, Darian Blackmere, reject you as my mate.” Those words shattered me in front of everyone because I couldn’t shift… because I was “defective.” So I ran. I survived. I became something no one saw coming. Now I’m Luna Ghost undefeated, untouchable and mated to Valtherion Ashvane, the Prime Alpha feared by every pack. My old pack wants me back now that I’m powerful. My family begs for forgiveness. And the mate who rejected me says losing me was his greatest mistake. Too bad for them. I’m done begging for acceptance. They wanted me weak. Now the girl they rejected is coming back as their Queen.

When Solomon Geyser brings his 100th mistress home, I lock the door of my room and swallow an entire bottle of sleeping pills. As I stare at the wedding portrait on the wall, I feel as though I can hear Solomon's wedding vows echoing in my ear again. "I swear that I will always love Ivana Wesley, and I will never betray her in this lifetime! If I ever go back on my word, I shall die the most horrible death in this world!" I let out a bitter chuckle before smashing the portrait and hurling it to the floor. Then, I pick up my phone and send Solomon a text. "I hate you, Solomon Geyser." But the next thing I know, I receive a text. "Please don't commit suicide, Ivy! I'm Solomon from ten years later!"