Funny Random Sayings

"Mommy, I found my daddy, and he looks like me!" "I'm sure this time!" Cecilia Eldritch heard her daughter, Celeste, scream as she ran inside the house. Celeste would always find random men and claim that they were her dad. She had already gotten used to Celeste's mischievousness and decided to ignore it. Until Celeste showed her the "daddy" that she randomly found. Sure enough, Celeste brought home her daddy. "I found you." "You can't run away again, Cecilia," Eon Eno said with a triumphant smile. How could he find her after all these years? How can one steamy night with her sworn enemy lead up to this point? "Yay, now I have a daddy!"

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

On day two of Matthew's so-called business trip, I was wiping down the counter when I said, "Auri, play some music." Instead of music, a syrupy voice chirped, "Sure thing, my Baby Moon. Oh, and Matthew, don't forget Bibi's birthday surprise tonight." I froze. The speaker blasted some random playlist, but all I heard was 'Bibi.' Matthew Kein was my husband. So who the hell was Bibi? I called him. "Did you mess with our smart speaker?" A beat of silence, then his fake laugh. "Oh, a buddy dropped by. Probably logged his account in. Why?" I laughed back like I bought it, then hung up. Two taps later, I was scrolling the login history, already hailing a cab to the company tied to that mystery account.

"120 million, going, going," the auctioneer announced, a proud smile gracing my face as I became Jaylen's dollar price doll. The smile faded the moment I heard, "200 million," some random young man raised his number with a smirk on his face from the other side of the hall, I guess this person was trying to challenge Jaylen but this wasn't the time for that. Kylie Candace Kazimir is one of the highest paid assassins but what happens when she is given a job by an anonymous person to eliminate one of the youngest, most successful and notorious mafia lords, Jaylen Noire Adryan. How will this one job affect her life? who gave her this Job and why? let's watch and see how Kylie will manage to pull this off or will she?

What are the odds that you are dared to send a random text to a stranger? And, what are the odds that the stranger happens to be someone you would never have imagined in your wildest fantasies?Well, the odds are in Chloe's favor. A text conversation which starts as a dare takes a one eighty degree turn when the person behind the screen turns out to be the cockiest, most arrogant, annoying asshat. Despite all this; the flirting, the heart to heart conversations and the late night musings are something they become accustomed to and something which gradually opens locked doors...but, that's not all. To top it all off, the guy just might happen to be in the same school and have a reputation for a overly skeptical identity..."What are you hiding?""An awesome body, beneath these layers of clothing ;)"But, who knows what Noah is really hiding and what are the consequences of this secret?Cover by my girl @messylilac :)❤️

While my corpse was rotting in the morgue, my fiancé, Ron Corleone, was comforting my murderer. Lisa Corleone sobbed as she said, “After we were kidnapped and brought here, Wendy disappeared. We don’t know if she managed to escape. It was all my fault. If I hadn’t insisted on going out with Wendy…” Ron’s face was ice cold. “The future mistress of the Corleone family actually abandoned my sister and fled on her own. If she dares to come back, I’ll break her arms and legs and turn her into a maggot that only deserves to live in the dark!” In fact, I did die in some random corner with my limbs broken. The truth about my death made Ron, who had vowed to make me regret my existence, crazy.

Nilisan ni Azalea ang kanilang probinsya dahil gusto niyang lumayo sa kanyang madrasta. Natuto siyang lumaban sa hamon ng buhay sa kanyang murang edad simula noong mamatay ang kanyang ina. Ngunit tila nagbago lahat ng kanyang plano nang biglang dumating sa kanyang buhay ang lalaking nagngangalang Izon. Izon Bricks Villamor, a twenty four year stunner and sole heir of Villamor Enterprise. He's good at everything and that includes flirting with some other random women. Paano kung isang araw bigla na lamang mabihag ni Azalea ang kanyang pusong uhaw sa atensyon? Kakayanin niya bang itaya ang lahat ng meron siya para lamang manatili sa tabi ng babaeng nakapagpa-ibig sa kanya?

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?