Funny Random Sayings Novels & Stories

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

“Close. ‘Everything has an end, only the sausage has two’.” “What the hell?” Smiling, I tapped my thumb on the wheel. “Basically, it’s a rendition of ‘all good things must come to an end’.” “Except a sausage?” “Except the sausage.” She let out a breathy chuckle. “Because it has two. Got it. Damn, sometimes other languages have the weirdest sayings.” “I mean, the same could be said for us. We say ‘it’s raining cats and dogs’ or that we are ‘under the weather’. Trying to convey the same sentiment across different languages usually doesn’t hold the same understanding that we know.”

"Does this mean I can expect turds landing on me every so often when I do or say something stupid?" I laugh again. "Oh, dragonbreath, you'll do or say something stupid every day. Between being green and turds landing on you, I've got you covered." Now it's Ashrac's laugh filling my head.

he replied. I raised a curious eyebrow. I hadn’t expected him to say ‘yes’. I tried to think of what might be a good phrase and something I wouldn’t say by accident. I thought of quite a lot of random phrases and ideas, but most of them seemed kind of silly. Of course, keeping it sort of silly might make this idea work best. A small word or phrase to keep us smiling whenever I say it, instead of fighting. "Unicorn," I finally replied with a giggle. "And you better watch out or I’ll be saying that in front of your tough mafia buddies."

She really loves gossiping. The old one, scowled at Stanley, as her repeated uestion was hindering their interesting conversation,"Folle .. Non aprire la bocca a meno che non ti piacerebbe spingere l'assurdità. ( You fool.. Don't open your mouth unless you like to spew nonsense. )"

What I see is a clown with the word 'moron' stamped on his stupid monkey face" Halton burst out laughing. "See? Isn't that man quite laughable just like a clown?" "HaHa Oh my god this is too funny" He laughed like an idiot, snorting like a pig. "And you speak too much for a dog! stop barking and drive!". "Yes, mam!"

Like a madman indeed. "Youngsters nowadays are so rude, foolishly dreaming that they can do anything. I guess you didn't know young man. There are some things in this world that are unstoppable. Like, the sun shining in the east. Also, an elephant squashing an ant. Or for example — ME TAKING YOUR LOWLY LIFE! "

Abel questioned, looking around. “Of course, I chose you over him. It’s bros before hoes.” Zadkiel smirked at Abel who couldn’t help but laugh. “You just called him a hoe.” His laughter became contagious as he thought that Zadkiel cracked the joke of the century when he just said the statement every guy says. Zadkiel laughed along with him. As some really wise person said: Laugh and the whole world laughs with you…

"I had to; you're just too cute when you get all irritated." "Ha ha," I chuckle. "If I share a random statement that's guaranteed to make you laugh, will you promise to show me that beautiful smile of yours again?" I struggle not to smile right then and there. "It's worth a shot," I reply, clearing my throat, and playfully rolling my eyes. "If sperm creates babies and is found in testicles, then 'ball is life' takes on a whole new meaning." I burst into laughter. "Oh my God! You need all the holy water you can get!"

the other replied. "She said that? Why?" “Because our teeth are all going to fall out,” they replied and burst into laughter. “Wow! Your Mommy is very smart,” I commented, for a moment, not knowing why I was talking to those little ones. Wasn't it some kind of crime to be so close to unknown children? “Yes she is,” they continued, so innocent. "She's very smart!" “And beautiful!” “Wouldn’t you like to be her girlfriend?” "What?" That was so random.