Funny Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Poems Dirty Novels & Stories

Anybody else feel like the usual poetry sites get stuck on the same dozen clichés? The really good weird stuff hides in corners where people treat it like an inside joke. I found this amazing thread on a gardening forum where members wrote botanical roasts—things like “Roses are red, soil needs tending / My love for you is never-ending / Unlike your compost pile, which frankly smells / And attracts more raccoons than wedding bells.” The combination of horticultural precision and affectionate teasing made them feel way more genuine than Hallmark stuff.

Reddit’s r/rosesarered is a mixed bag but sort by ‘top of all time’ and you’ll find some gems that twist the format for actual humor, not just bathroom joke punchlines. Tumblr tags like #weird love poems occasionally deliver surreal, short posts that feel like they’re from a specific, funny brain. The key is looking where the format gets played with by hobbyists, not where it’s presented as a finished product.

Library poetry databases sometimes list contemporary humorous verse, but you have to dig through the academic filters. I once found a digitized chapbook from a small press that had a whole section of ‘anti-valentines’ written in the roses-are-red structure. It’s out there if you’re willing to treat the search like a proper scavenger hunt.

It’s that unexpected pivot, the self-aware twist in a form so worn out it’s practically a cliché. You start with the classic 'Roses are red' setup, which already primes a smile because it’s familiar and a bit silly. Then you swerve—'Roses are red, my love is true... and so is my fear of clowns, so no circus for you.' The humor cuts through potential cheesiness. It doesn’t take itself seriously, which can relieve pressure in a new relationship or rekindle playful teasing in a long-term one.

They work because they’re collaborative. You’re both in on the joke. Trading bad puns or crafting one together feels more engaging than reciting a sonnet. It creates a private, silly language. I once left one on a sticky note for my partner after a silly argument, and it dissolved the tension faster than any grand gesture. The mood lightens because it’s hard to stay overly romantic or melodramatic when you’re both laughing at a deliberately terrible rhyme about your cat interrupting a kiss.

Honestly, the whole 'roses are red' meme is so goofy that any author trying to be 'the best' at it kind of misses the point. The funniest ones I've seen usually come from poets with a sharp, self-deprecating edge who treat it like a formal constraint to play with. Dorothy Parker comes to mind immediately—she had that knack for a cynical twist that flips saccharine sentiment on its head.

You can almost imagine her writing one that starts sweet and ends with a jab about wilting flowers or prickly thorns. For a more modern, absurdist take, someone like Richard Brautigan might have done something wonderfully weird with the format, blending the cliché with his signature off-kilter observations about love and decay.

It’s less about a specific 'best' author and more about finding a voice that uses the childish rhyme to deliver a wry, grown-up wink.