Funny Sex Jokes Novels & Stories

“You shouldn't be here…” Naila felt like her whole world was crumbling down as she stared at the man towering over her. “Funny,” his voice was hoarse. “Neither should you. I guess Santa has a funny way of playing for the season, don't you think?” ******** Naila Cole escapes to a snowbound mountain cabin days before Christmas, desperate to outrun a life that’s falling apart. She expects silence, isolation and healing. She doesn’t expect Remy Sterling. Her ex-boyfriend. The man she walked away from years ago. One booking mistake. A brutal blizzard. One night they swear will mean nothing. But weeks later, Naila is hiding a secret that could destroy them both. When a new job offer drags her into the city, she’s ready to rebuild—until she walks into the boardroom and comes face to face with her new boss. Remy Sterling. CEO. Ruthless negotiator. And the father of the child she hasn’t told him about. As Christmas approaches and a dangerous corporate merger tightens its grip, Naila is forced into close quarters with Remy once again—while rumours ignite, rivals circle, and someone begins leaking secrets meant to ruin her. With her career in flames, her body changing, and the truth ticking like a time bomb between them, Naila must decide how long she can keep the secret that could cost Remy his empire… or her heart. Because some mistakes can't be hidden. Especially not the ones conceived on Christmas night.

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

[WWARNING: MATURE CONTENT] "I... I'm not sure what I'm asking for," Serena admitted. "But I know I want you. Even if it scares me to death." Her voice trembled slightly. His hand covered hers, pressing it more firmly against his hardened length. "Tell me to stop. Tell me now, or I won't be able to hold back." his tone was both a challenge and a plea. Serena swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest at the electric tension between them. "I don't want you to stop," she breathed, barely recognizing her own voice. His eyes darkened even more. So much so that the ambers in them completely disappeared. He gnashed his teeth so hard as he fought for control. Serena could feel the tension radiating off him in waves like a spring ready to snap. "You don't know what you're doing to me," he growled roughly. She bit her lip, both thrilled and intimidated by the raw need in his voice. Her fingers trailed along the hard line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. "Show me," she challenged. His breathing grew even more ragged. Serena could see the struggle on his face - the battle between his overwhelming desire and his need to protect her from his own intensity. "I could hurt you," he warned again. "I'm not sure I can ever be gentle with you. I’m rough. My kind of sex is brutal." --------- Serena's life hit rock bottom when she caught her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She decided to lose herself in a bar, hoping to wash away her pain. However, life has this funny way of messing up plans – she ended up in a one-night stand that only added more trouble to her already chaotic reality.

~He is a porn star and he has no feeling for any woman~ ~It is just sex, no feeling involved; so fuck me like a pornstar~ **** Raelynn Martinez was moving clear across the country to start a new life but fate had other plans. On her way she met an arrogant guy who she realized later that he is a porn star. During the process, she unintentionally ended up having a night stand with him. This was however a mistake because after that night, sex with him became her addiction. This went on for a good couple of months until when Raelynn realized that it wasn't just sex. However things turned bad when she noticed that she was pregnant. ~ She was impregnated by a porn star who had no interest in her, had no feelings for her. It was all sex to him.

It all started in an elevator when Young master Xavier Williams got involved In a lady he barely knew which resulted to a one night of steamy sex and Romance. The next day she was gone and his ego was greatly messed with so he sets out to find the mysterious lady who took advantage of him or the other way around. He soon found her and mysteries and more mysteries kept unfolding including the death of his father. Kendall Maxwell a crazy ass virgin whose ideal of first time sex Is having with someone handsome. She had a thing for handsome dudes and eventually slept with one whom she never met before. A one night sex soon turned to an urge between them . Find out what happened next in this mind blowing story.

Kehna had lost her mother when she was young she was only left with her dad who after awhile married her Stepmom. After her mother's death she still hadn't recovered yet, she wasn't doing so well in school anymore but when her dad got married nothing became better it all just became worse.

Kidnapped by the billionaire Synopsis Mercy's write Extract from the story I starred at the kidnapper billionaire in front of me. "Can you explain to me why am in your office right now"I yelled at him. "Look valarie,this is a business organization so just keep it low woman"he said and scoff. *yea arrogant billionaire* "Valarie,I don't know how to say this but I really do know I need your help"he said nervously. "An what help can a poor lady render to a billionaire"I said and he started at me before answering "Be my girlfriend,valarie"he said and I felt my head spinning. "Did you hit your head in something or what,firstly I woke up only to be in your house,you kidnapped me Xavier and now you are asking me to be your girlfriend you"I said and ruffled my hair. "I don't really say please to any lady,but you are just proving hard to get,I really need this,my parent wants me to get a girlfriend and I promise it just a two month thing"he pleaded with sincerity written on his green eye. . . . Meet valarie Valarie a 22 year old lady,dealing with her not so good life who suddenly meets a billionaire who ordered coffee in a late hour and she refuse, What happens when she wake up only to find herself in the youngest billionaire's mansion? Carry on. Grab ur popcorn Strictly written by mercy Mercy's write

Peter Cooper lives in the town of Capistrano. After being dumped by girlfriend Amelia his friend James arranges a job at Trans-Port, bossed by the famous Professor William Carver. Carver’s assistant is an American woman called Claire. Peter is pressurised into being a guinea pig for the company’s teleportation experiments and gets sent to another reality ‘The Projection’. On returning he's told Trans-Port have mentally imprisoned him in Capistrano slnce ten. The programme is a wormhole to another reality and Peter is forced to go back there and bring home its creator, his brilliant scientist father John, so Trans-Port's teleportation system can work successfully. The Projection is only programmed for John and Peter’s DNA. Peter finds the alternate reality called ‘Guildford’ similar to Capistrano but landscape and identities have changed. He meets another ‘Claire’, now English. She helps him find his ‘parents’ who informed his doppelganger (Other Peter) is a successful scientist, married to Amelia and working for Kilgore Industries in ‘Cambridge’. They are also building a teleportation device. Realising 'his' John might have gone there, Peter follows. At Kilgore he finds another ‘James’, now ‘Other Peter’s’ Project Manager. He pretends to be his doppleganger's non-existent brother to find out about an 'accident' on the site. That night a dream shows ‘Other Peter’ involved in a metaphysical reaction to the accident. John asks Peter to help him find out more about it. They force Amelia to take them to ‘Other Peter’ at Kilgore. They find him trapped between two states of reality just like Peter’s dream. Peter forces John to return to Capistrano but Carver appears telling him neither realty actually exists. The accident killed Peter and he is now purely cyber intelligence. But is this true? Can Peter’s REAL life still be saved?

Mia, an 18 year old. Living a life no one should ever have to experience. Having an abusive father and a mother who would love her father no matter how many times he abused them. How will the MMA fighter who she felt an instant connection fit into her life? Having no choice but to escape her horrible life, leaving everything and everyone she knows behind. How will Mia be able to live on her own? Will Mia be able to leave her past life behind?

The fearful time to leave the nest arrives for everyone, even more for Catherine, a recent graduate full of dreams in front of her and now receiving a job offer in a renowned law firm far from her hometown, this is the time to move on and fly high, but things are not as easy as she imagines, the obstacles seem to focus on a single person, her boss Miguel who apparently loves to be a tough guy and pick on her, is this all bitterness or is the weirdo hiding something?