Funny Sexual Jokes

"I want this," I repeat my words. "And what exactly is this?" he smiles and holds my back with his hands in all his casual sexiness. "I want my orgasm," "You're not there yet, baby girl." He stated softly, his hands trail down to my ass and squeezed them making me pouted at him. "I can get there, you can get me there." "I will, but not right now," ***** Jessica had tried her hardest to rebuild the family legacy, but her brother's scandalous past has proven hard to make her bounce back. And when her family business was bought out, there was nothing she could do but follow her lawyers' advice. But what she didn't expect was her new boss. The fact that she has someone to report to annoyed her, and for that someone to be handsome and smart it infuriates her. She knows he's a player, he knows she's a fragile woman with a very dark past. Can she shake him off and live peacefully with her job? or will he push himself and break out from his comfort zone to make her fall for him? ***** The love story will be emotional, irritating, and eh...I'm still not sure what else :p But the happy ending will be inevitable. So, add this book to your library and join me as we read about Jessica's happy ending. ***** Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

Damon Karsyn had this creepy desire for . When he found out the perfect match for him, his demon horn began to wiggle in satisfaction. His manipulative, dominant, and masochistic side will lead him to destroy the innocent toy of him. Keatton Morgan is the only child and heiress of Elise and William Morgan. The epitome of a persistent and intelligent son he is but on the contrary to it, he was weak and fragile but feisty. In spite of his gender identity and sexual orientation, he wants to prove to his parent that he can be successful without depending on them. "Please, Dr. Karsyn. Do-Don't me" Keatton pleaded while his blood began to flow. "The prey is now in my inferno. Don't worry Kitty ! I will give you blissful hell" and with one punch, Keattons vision began to dim.

18 year-old orphan, Rose Cintilar, wants to fulfill her father's dream of becoming a stylist. She's talented but has the worst luck. When the senior stylist stole her design again, Rose decided to change her fate and apply for a new job: the assistant to singer, songwriter 'Rum'. But why would an international superstar pick a zero for an assistant? Maybe something isn’t right with Rum. Something about him feels superhuman…and Rose is pulled into the world beyond her own; a world of werewolves, the dark whims and the Moon Goddess; and as the Alpha King's mate, Rose must save him from clutches or the dark whims, or the Moon Goddess would fall and plunge both world into darkness. But why would an Alpha king need the help of a mere human? She's not a werewolf... is she?

Synopsis He close the expanse between us and I won't lie I close my eyes for a bit because I don't know how it got so hot and steamy between us. His lips touch my jaw, making me tremble. He continues a line of kisses along my jawline and I nod. I know he is right, I have no idea what this is. As his lips touch the spot just below my ear I moan and he does it again, this time sucking the skin. That electricity between us appears again, this time more wild than ever before. Why is this always happening with him? I shut my mind off from my thoughts and wrap my arms around his neck to steady myself. he rubs his thumb over my bottom lip and in a swift he crash his lips with me and deepen it immediately and all sexual attachment aroused and I felt unsatisfied. His lips move in sync with mine as he eat out my lower lips and I moan out unconsciously. He palm my ass cheek in his hand. He raise me up and I wrap my leg round his torso with no one ready to pull back. He kiss me passionately and it felt like he had always wanted to do this for so long because he poured all his love into it.

I needed this. I need to let go. She thought as she tried to justify her sexual feelings towards the sexy beast tangled to her body. "Stop me..." Matteo whispered harshly in her ear, but she was moaning to his kisses and was letting him take off her dress as he lay her down to the bed. He groaned when he saw her slender body which strangely aroused him more than those voluptuous stripper bodies that he had grown accustomed to. "Amara, baby..." ***** She's the daughter of one of the most influential families in the world. She grew up as one of the richest trust fund kids, and she lives a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle. But what people didn't know was the truth of her bloodline. She's the love child, of one of the richest men in the world. She was daddy's little princess. All three of her biological brothers, the true heir of her father's wealth hated her. His wife, her fake mom despised her, never acknowledge her existence unless it was for social occasions. ...... This is a story about the richest, deception, love, humor, hate, heartbreak, and all the drama you can fit into a book. Follow me, find out who's the lucky guy who gets to live his ever after with our madame billionaire. And for all of you who has been stalking on our townies... Take a wild guess, who knows, you might be right ....... *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

The last thing William "Liam" Windsor, Earl of Clifton and soon to be the Duke of Ashbourne, need was to cross paths with his ex-girlfriend who had broken his heart ten years ago. However, fate dictated otherwise when he accidentally slipped into her bed and was caught red-handed. Driven by his revenge, he made her agree to marry him and planned on using her for his own personal agenda. Perhaps even made her fall for him then broke her heart in the process. Never had he imagined that instead of succeeding, he would be the one to fall head over heels for her for the second time. Disclaimer: 18+ Contains explicit sexual content and use of profanity. Read at your own risk.

Anaheim, the Home of Disneyland in California City famous for Hockey stadium, art museum, convention centres. Among them, it is also famous for nightclubs. On a busy night in California Girls Anaheim(Adult Entertainment Club), Nicolas Winston searches for a girl to spend the night with. While looking around, he come across Elena who just undergone a break up, came to the club to get drunk. Nick sees Elena and ask her to sleep with him. In the beginning she rejects him but later she'll accept the offer. Both of them decides to hook up and end up in a hotel. When Nick comes to know that Elena is still virgin, he drops the idea of sleeping with her. Elena gets excited about Nick and ask about his love life since he talked lot about 'first time' and 'virginity'. Nick and Elena share their love story to each other's. They become friends from One nightstand. Nick and Elena meet again and again on different occasions and share their love stories. Nick helps Elena to overcome her truma from her past life and in return Elena helps Nick overcoming his lost love. Soon, they fall for each other without knowing. Nicolas's side story - High School Love. Elena's side story - Office Romance.

COMPLETED!!!! WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT, DOMESTIC ABUSE, SUICIDE, GRIEF, AND VIOLENCE! Melanie Stokes is Alpha Damon’s eldest daughter and heir. Jaxon Miller is the fatherless male wolf that snatches the title right from underneath her. After they begin to work together as Alpha and Beta, they make a deal to have a casual relationship until the Mating Ball, when they will both meet their mates and decide their fates from then. What happens when Jaxon discovers they are mates a month before the ball and that the Moon Goddess chose her from birth to become a member of “The Alpha Council” that will force her to leave the pack? Can he make her fall in love with him before her hatred causes her to reject him? Can love even prevail the challenges they will face if she does choose him?

Book Two of Cruel Intentions Series. This book can be read as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension of the characters, it is recommended to be read after Betrayed the Mafia. Theodore is the second in command of the Irish mob in New York. He is known as a player, use and toss. Theo hates relationships seeing them as useless. Theodore is funny and lighthearted around his friends, but when dealing with business, he is ruthless and heartless. His cold heart always prevails. Theodore is manipulative and a great liar. Theodore is chosen to help forge an alliance between the Irish and the Americans. He needs to marry the daughter of the boss. He takes his job and position seriously and accepts his fate. He doesn’t believe in love anyway, so that nothing will change for him. He will just have to wear a ring and play house. What happens when she is the girl he has avoided for years, the girl he feels the need to protect? He sees her as a weakness. He condones how she lives her life, but the day he allows himself to get close to her, everything changes, and his addiction to her becomes impossible to resist. Theodore is everything Everly has always dreamed of as an online romance novel writer, and she is inexperienced and sassy. The only way she has experienced love is through her books. She lives almost in captivity because of who she is, and Her purity will be negotiable. But once Theodore pops her cherry, he can’t stay away, involving her in a thread of lies and manipulations that she could only imagine as a plot of one of her books.

"Bend on your knees and spread those legs, babygirl! I want to see all of you." Isabella aka Bella, an 18-year-old girl who just completed high school and is currently waiting to join college. She moved to California to live with her mother and her newly wedded husband. She felt an immediate sexual tension with her step-dad, Oliver Taylor. Bella soon found herself going through various, irresistible sexual escapades with this charming, seductive fellow in the absence of her mom. She knows it is a sin to think such things about an older man, specifically her mother’s partner. He's clearly off limits but she can't help it. But what happens when he comes forward about also feeling this way for her? Oliver Taylor is a wealthy 30 year old businessman, freshly married to a 37 year old woman, Saanchi. When he met his wife's daughter, he immediately fancied her. He also had secret fantasies about her that he felt extremely guilty about. He wanted to fuck her till she couldn’t walk, treat her like princess, love her like she’s the only girl in the world but she was his stepdaughter. He was known as the devil of the business world and they surely didn't call him the devil for nothing. What started out as a simple and confusing attraction turned into something more, way more than they wanted. A taboo romance between two people. This could be the best thing that ever happened or the worse. Would Bella ruin her relationship with her mother for her forbidden love? But what would happen when the attraction was mutual? What would be the fate or outcome of such an act and would her mom ever get to know the atrocity going on right under her nose?