Funny Sexual Jokes

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

"Now you listen. You are mine. Your whole existence is mine. You live for me. Breathe for me. Exist for me. If I tell you to do something. You do it. No questions asked. If I tell you to jump off a building, I want no hesitation from you. I am the master and you are my slave. Do you get me?" Isabella Russo lost her parents to a car crash when she was just eight years old, she moves to Italy to live with her father's sister. 10 years later, she finds out that she was given off to the Perez Mafia family as collateral. What will happen when Capo Domenico Perez comes to take what's his? In a bid to make him fall for her, will she succeed? Or would she find herself falling for the dangerous capo with no one to catch her.

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned

Love is the most beautiful feeling in world. A heart eventually falls for a person without any thought. But what happened when a person is made forcefully to love his or her partner. A girl was tied to a chair in the dark room .Her body was covered in bruises and marks. She was whimpering in pain. A man entered the room and sat next to her. He touched her cheek and said," Say, That you love me”. Girl looked at him with blurry vision and said," I will never love a person like you ”. The man get angry and slapped her hard.Girl fall on the floor with a thud. This story is about a 20 year old girl who was living her life happily but everything changed when she caught the eyes the eyes of a buisness tycoon. She tried her best to resist him but failed miserably and tied in the knot of wedding. She was trying to overcome this phase of her life but one night changed everything. She was finding herself now in a more worst condition than before. Her husband tried his best to made the girl fall for him by forcing her and acting violently on her. **Please Ignore the minor error in few of the starting chapters. I will edit it later** Thank you so much for giving this story a chance to read..

"I want this," I repeat my words. "And what exactly is this?" he smiles and holds my back with his hands in all his casual sexiness. "I want my orgasm," "You're not there yet, baby girl." He stated softly, his hands trail down to my ass and squeezed them making me pouted at him. "I can get there, you can get me there." "I will, but not right now," ***** Jessica had tried her hardest to rebuild the family legacy, but her brother's scandalous past has proven hard to make her bounce back. And when her family business was bought out, there was nothing she could do but follow her lawyers' advice. But what she didn't expect was her new boss. The fact that she has someone to report to annoyed her, and for that someone to be handsome and smart it infuriates her. She knows he's a player, he knows she's a fragile woman with a very dark past. Can she shake him off and live peacefully with her job? or will he push himself and break out from his comfort zone to make her fall for him? ***** The love story will be emotional, irritating, and eh...I'm still not sure what else :p But the happy ending will be inevitable. So, add this book to your library and join me as we read about Jessica's happy ending. ***** Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

Damon Karsyn had this creepy desire for . When he found out the perfect match for him, his demon horn began to wiggle in satisfaction. His manipulative, dominant, and masochistic side will lead him to destroy the innocent toy of him. Keatton Morgan is the only child and heiress of Elise and William Morgan. The epitome of a persistent and intelligent son he is but on the contrary to it, he was weak and fragile but feisty. In spite of his gender identity and sexual orientation, he wants to prove to his parent that he can be successful without depending on them. "Please, Dr. Karsyn. Do-Don't me" Keatton pleaded while his blood began to flow. "The prey is now in my inferno. Don't worry Kitty ! I will give you blissful hell" and with one punch, Keattons vision began to dim.

Synopsis He close the expanse between us and I won't lie I close my eyes for a bit because I don't know how it got so hot and steamy between us. His lips touch my jaw, making me tremble. He continues a line of kisses along my jawline and I nod. I know he is right, I have no idea what this is. As his lips touch the spot just below my ear I moan and he does it again, this time sucking the skin. That electricity between us appears again, this time more wild than ever before. Why is this always happening with him? I shut my mind off from my thoughts and wrap my arms around his neck to steady myself. he rubs his thumb over my bottom lip and in a swift he crash his lips with me and deepen it immediately and all sexual attachment aroused and I felt unsatisfied. His lips move in sync with mine as he eat out my lower lips and I moan out unconsciously. He palm my ass cheek in his hand. He raise me up and I wrap my leg round his torso with no one ready to pull back. He kiss me passionately and it felt like he had always wanted to do this for so long because he poured all his love into it.

18 year-old orphan, Rose Cintilar, wants to fulfill her father's dream of becoming a stylist. She's talented but has the worst luck. When the senior stylist stole her design again, Rose decided to change her fate and apply for a new job: the assistant to singer, songwriter 'Rum'. But why would an international superstar pick a zero for an assistant? Maybe something isn’t right with Rum. Something about him feels superhuman…and Rose is pulled into the world beyond her own; a world of werewolves, the dark whims and the Moon Goddess; and as the Alpha King's mate, Rose must save him from clutches or the dark whims, or the Moon Goddess would fall and plunge both world into darkness. But why would an Alpha king need the help of a mere human? She's not a werewolf... is she?

I needed this. I need to let go. She thought as she tried to justify her sexual feelings towards the sexy beast tangled to her body. "Stop me..." Matteo whispered harshly in her ear, but she was moaning to his kisses and was letting him take off her dress as he lay her down to the bed. He groaned when he saw her slender body which strangely aroused him more than those voluptuous stripper bodies that he had grown accustomed to. "Amara, baby..." ***** She's the daughter of one of the most influential families in the world. She grew up as one of the richest trust fund kids, and she lives a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle. But what people didn't know was the truth of her bloodline. She's the love child, of one of the richest men in the world. She was daddy's little princess. All three of her biological brothers, the true heir of her father's wealth hated her. His wife, her fake mom despised her, never acknowledge her existence unless it was for social occasions. ...... This is a story about the richest, deception, love, humor, hate, heartbreak, and all the drama you can fit into a book. Follow me, find out who's the lucky guy who gets to live his ever after with our madame billionaire. And for all of you who has been stalking on our townies... Take a wild guess, who knows, you might be right ....... *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

The last thing William "Liam" Windsor, Earl of Clifton and soon to be the Duke of Ashbourne, need was to cross paths with his ex-girlfriend who had broken his heart ten years ago. However, fate dictated otherwise when he accidentally slipped into her bed and was caught red-handed. Driven by his revenge, he made her agree to marry him and planned on using her for his own personal agenda. Perhaps even made her fall for him then broke her heart in the process. Never had he imagined that instead of succeeding, he would be the one to fall head over heels for her for the second time. Disclaimer: 18+ Contains explicit sexual content and use of profanity. Read at your own risk.