Funny Short Stories Adults Novels & Stories

She loves them. Bad jokes have always seemed to be the best way to get to know a person, the way he receives them, the way he gives them. If you can give a bad joke and laugh even though one has already heard it and one knows that it is not good, that speaks of anyone as a human being. She is a lover of everything that is fun, and since this pandemic began, Cali has seen people’s true color. A guy on the internet saw some photos of her and proposed an interesting business.

Her friend laughed again, and I heard a soft thud, like flesh hitting flesh, followed by a moan. My cock throbbed, straining against my jeans. I was so hard, my heart hammering in my chest. I had to get out. I had to escape. But then, the shorter one spoke, her voice low and sultry. "Wait, I have an idea." I froze, my hand on the door handle. "You're going to love this," the tall one purred. I turned to look at them, my breath catching. They were both naked, their bodies glistening with sweat, their breasts heaving with each ragged breath. The shorter one was on her knees, her ass in the air, her pussy glistening and ready.

And so help me God, even if we went from night till morning, I don't think I'd get enough of how crazily good he was in bed. He knows how to fuck a woman. I was snapped back by Layla's smack on my back. "What are you cooking for us today, by the way?" she asked, peeking into the pot of sauce I was making. "Pita bread and meat sauce." "Hmm... it smells nice. Let me go freshen up, then." I slapped her ass as she walked away. "Lazy ass." She stopped by the door and glared at me. "Why do I need to stress myself with cooking when I have you and my Dad to do the work?"

Anything to avoid walking into Rhett again while he was dripping and glowing and smug. But the man had no boundaries. By noon, he was shirtless again. This time in joggers that did nothing to hide the fact that God clearly had favorites. “I made coffee,” he said, holding out a mug like peace offering number two. I took it without a word and sipped. It was good. Of course it was. He leaned against the counter. “So what’s your story, Lana?” “My story?” “Yeah. Everyone’s got one. Especially women who move into apartments expecting old ladies and get dick instead.”

“He’s a ten but… he kisses his BMW goodnight every night.” Terri chuckled and gestured toward a tall, gangly guy with oversized glasses. “He’s a ten but… he says, ‘That’s all folks!’ after every joke he tells.” We both doubled over in laughter. I pointed at a shorter guy in a bright, colorful sweatshirt. “He’s a ten but… he writes erotic Dora the Explorer fan fiction.” Terri nearly choked on her drink. When she looked up she said, “He’s a ten but… he’s not potty-trained,” motioning toward a guy in JNCO jeans.

The cushions wrapped around me. My best friend, Lila. Sat down beside me on the chair, falling into it very lazily like a rag doll. Her shiny skirt, moved up, showing her smooth and sexy thighs. She moaned in an exaggerated way. “If I eventually die this night, just tell my mom I went out happy.” I snorted. "Oh please, tomorrow you'll be back to pose with those plastic angel wings in front of your followers on I*******m." She wrinkled her face at me. We were intoxicated, silly, swimming in cocktails and adrenaline. All the silly things felt like the world's biggest joke.

The night rolled on in a blur of laughing, teasing and ridiculous stories. They roasted Samira for the time she tripped during a big corporate event. Tasha told a story about accidentally emailing a love confession to the whole company. Devin swore up and down he saw a ghost in the break room once. Then Theo talked about the time Samira accidentally sent a draft ad with a massive typo to the entire executive board ("Best Crapper Rates!" instead of "Best Career Rates!"). Samira turned beet red, and she covered her face with her hands while everyone howled with laughter.

I wonder how many last warnings he has been giving me. I sat down and attended to a few men who came by for a drink or two. This place has one interesting benefit. I get to hear some people's sad stories, I've seen people drunk and cause funny scenes, seen a lot of break-up ladies and gents and all I have to do is entertain them as they entertain me. Hours later, I was attending to this dude who was telling me how he lost a contract… "So what are you going to do now?" I asked him

He grinned as my face blushed. “Now you’re getting on my nerves.” I hissed softly, and he broke into another chuckle. I had never seen a man as smiley as him. “How about I tell you a joke,” Conan said, and I frowned. “In the middle of a dark forest, a man and a woman have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman replies, ‘Me too. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’”

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”