Short Funny Stories For Adults Novels & Stories

"Did you crawl out of a sewer on the way in? This is a Fortune 500 company, not a bus terminal bathroom." "I had car trouble, Mr. Graham. And then a shoe incident. And then a puddle..." "I don't pay you for your tragic life story, Wanda," he cut in, slamming his tablet onto the desk. "I pay you to function. Bare minimum expectations. Coffee that's hot. Bagels that aren't stale. You failed at both. Congratulations." "I'm sorry, I—"

Man, I'm on a roll with these short people jokes today. The receiver of the jokes isn't quite as excited though. "Since you want to short-shame me, hug time is over for you." She attempts to pull away but I bring her back in. "Hey, I'm still sad. I need a little more." "Five seconds more and that's it." Her tone is firm, yet playful. But I can't think straight when her chest is pressed this tight against mine. I really want to kiss her. A warm hug will have to do... for now.

The man rolled down the window and asked him… “Is everything alright buddy” “Yes, would you mind parking the car at this side. I wanted to talk to you.” Keith said while pointing towards the side of the road. “Umm… Sure…” The man hesitated but thought that Keith was a poor guy and needed help so he parked the car at the side. The man came out and there was a woman inside the car. “See… I like being straightforward and I hate arguments.” The man kept quite and seemed confused. “Give me all the money you have. And before you say a single word don’t have a look at this.” Keith kept the sharp pointy edge of the knife at the mans stomach.

A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect the insurance money. The car then rolled forward and crushed him I don't own any of this stories. I found them in some creepy books. I'm thinking of writing my own scary stories, but not anytime soon. You can send me your short stories for a feature if you feel like it. Thanks for reading. Enjoy!

“You look like someone who could use a good laugh.” I raise an eyebrow. “Do I?” “Yep. Lucky for you, I’m full of stories. Did I ever tell you about the time I outran a tornado in my old pickup truck?” I blink. “I don’t think so.” He launches into a tale so animated and absurd I can’t help but laugh. “...And there I was, wind howlin’, my dog howlin’, and me screamin’ at the top of my lungs like a banshee! But we made it, me and ol’ Duke.”

oh, the stories they would tell. They would only tell happy ones. The ones where my smile was wide, Junior's eyes sparkled with love and adoration, they would talk of the food we'd burn, and the many nights we'd order take out, they would speak of the many times I accidently farted around Junior and his teasing chuckles.

She added. "Well, it's a long story… you still wanna know?" Asking her back. I dunno why I suddenly feel comfortable with her. A smile plastered on her lips. "I love long stories," I sat on the chair in front of her. And started talking about what happened. "Dang it! If I were you, one hard slap is not enough for her thick callus face Gurl! I'm gonna punch the sh*t out of her!" Kennedy jokes, which made me laugh so hard.

He then said, “Well, okay, after you left with the girl, I was throwing up like a pig. Luckily the very nice girls from the brothel got me a couple of aspirin and a taxi.” I told you it was a bad idea to keep drinking,” I said in a mocking tone. “ “Shut up, ass face, you drank more than I did,” Jaime said, to which he couldn't help but laugh, following, I could hear Jaime's screams complaining, but I preferred to put the phone away and keep on laughing. The screams went away, so I put the receiver back to my ear.“Leaving the jokes aside, how are you doing with the story” He asked.

He said it in a childish tone. "Oh really, but I though your name was Caleb." Jazz replied playing along. "Oh no, I am not Caleb. He disturbs people who want to be left alone but ME, I am Mr. Laughter people enjoy my company." "Oh really?" "Yes." He said it continuing the same innocent tone in his voice. "Shall I tell you a joke?" "Please go on." "Once there was an old man who died at a very young age hahaha..." He ended his short joke with his own laughter

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”