Funny Workplace Stories Novels & Stories

But ever since I became the owner, I hadn't heard any of them make a peep. Only once in a while—when I was working late into the night—the naughty printer would suddenly puff out a single sheet of paper. On it was a crooked little drawing of a sleeping figure, with the words "If you don't clock out soon, I'm shutting myself down" written underneath. Whenever I saw it, I couldn't help but laugh, and the tiredness seemed to lift off my shoulders. After a long meeting one day, I was rubbing the back of my neck as I walked out. When I passed by the printer, it suddenly shuddered with a hum and spat out a single sheet of paper that drifted slowly to the floor.

And that right there was the start of strange excuses from my workers as they made their requests. As the day progressed, my office became a revolving door of peculiar requests, with wide -eyed workers making very damned lies so believable I feared for my sanity. "Sir, my cat's having an existential crisis, and I need three days off to console it.” "Boss, my plants are dying, and I require a week's leave to nurse them back to health." "Sir, my cousin is pregnant. I need to be there

Lois successfully dragged me out of the house so she could go eat. There were a lot of meals in the freezer but she decided she wanted something from a restaurant What is that??? “So your new workplace, how is it?” I asked her as we entered our regular takeout restaurant. She sighed. “Honestly it's fun but my coworkers are crazy as hell,.they are such lazy beings they can't do anything for themselves!” She complained. Lois hated people that wouldn't work, she didn't say work your ass off till you drop dead like a fly, she only says work for the money you earn.

Our brains were half-melted by the time someone suggested ordering food. Takeout arrived just as the sun began to set. The break room lights were dim, the glow from our laptops and phones casting everything in a cozy, firelight tone. For the first time all day, I let myself sit back and breathe. Conversation drifted away from work. Someone told a story about a disastrous family gathering, someone else chimed in with a joke about their ex’s pet raccoon. I found myself laughing before I could stop it, the sound awkward and raw.

Melissa - And here comes my crazy clueless friend, I said out loud so she can hear, and it seems like she actually did because she burst out laughing, hurting my ears. Hey, you crazy person, be quiet, we're at my workplace. And whose idea was it to crack a joke? What did you expect me to do? Cry? She really has no sense at all, coming to disturb me even at my job. Oh my God, what am I supposed to do with this girl? Is it so difficult for her to leave me alone? At least at work.

In fact, if you knew their pet peeve, and indicated that other people hated that thing, too, they would go off on all the things that were wrong with the company. And because of Keisha, I had a whole laundry list of potential pet peeves. I think some writer gave a speech once that started with a joke about an old fish who meets two young fish and casually asks, “How about the water today?” and then swims on. After he’s gone, one of the young fish turns to his friend and asks, “What the hell is ‘water’?” When you’re in it all the time, you stop seeing it – whether the ‘it’ is water, or bullshit problems at a corporation.

He squeezed shut his eyes in an attempt to wipe off the turmoil. "Okay, now, be a good boy and listen to me." "Uh-huh." "You know what happened today...?" "What?" "We did all the crazy stuff in the office and created a big mess for them to clean up." Curiosity kicked in him. He asked in an avid tone, "care to share?" "I'd love to." "I'm all ears." "We went shopping in the middle of work, go to the bar in the afternoon, and danced until we forcefully dragged our bodies out....."

“Yeah. Sucks, right?” “You have no idea, newbie.” “Sue Andrew,” Sue told her. “Jake Miller. We had one of these last year, too. It was awful,” Jake told her. “Not only do we have to sit there and listen while she tells us what is and isn’t appropriate conduct for the workplace, but we also have to act out these insane scenarios she dreams up.” “What, like the ‘no means no’ workshops we had to do in high school? Which, by the way, were totally redundant for me.”

“That's how you got this bad boy, huh? Secret affair with the boss, and he decided to husband you for it!” I gave him a sharp side-eye, lips twitching despite myself. "Wow. Really subtle, Jonathan." Mandy burst into laughter. “Oh great,” I muttered. “She finds this hilarious.” “Oh, I absolutely do,” she said between giggles. “This is like every office rumor ever rolled into one.” Anderson joined in, shaking his head. “You know what’s crazy? Now that we think about it, everything fits. The day Mr. Warner took you home when you were sick, remember? We thought it was just him being nice, but now—oh, we were so blind.”

“Come on, Gianna. Even CEOs laugh once in a while. Tell me the last time you found something genuinely funny.” She stopped typing, tilting her head in thought. “Does watching you fumble through introductions at that client dinner count?” “Ouch,” I said, clutching my chest dramatically. “Straight for the kill.” She smiled, a quick and fleeting thing, but it was enough to keep me going. “Seriously, though,” I pressed. “You’ve got to have a story. Something that made you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe.”