Funny Workplace Stories Novels & Stories

I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable listening to that kind of talk anymore. I understand that not everyone feels comfortable listening to stories about other people, especially since this is a workplace and not a place for people to tell stories. The group of people who were chuckling nodded their heads. "Yes, yes, we understand. Enjoy your time." They spoke as they left.

If you think the fall off the chair was my only nasty experience, you're very mistaken. I, Gabriella Johansson, for the first time in my life tasted coffee made with actual toilet water and it didn't end there. I got locked in the office from the outside after everyone had left and my instincts tell me it wasn't coincidental, thank God for the security guard who heard me screaming or else, I'd most likely be the laughing stock of the entire company by now. "Good morning Jack." I greet politely avoiding the menacing gaze of my evil team members, who were out to get me.

“Come on, Gianna. Even CEOs laugh once in a while. Tell me the last time you found something genuinely funny.” She stopped typing, tilting her head in thought. “Does watching you fumble through introductions at that client dinner count?” “Ouch,” I said, clutching my chest dramatically. “Straight for the kill.” She smiled, a quick and fleeting thing, but it was enough to keep me going. “Seriously, though,” I pressed. “You’ve got to have a story. Something that made you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe.”

The voice from the next cubicle says. “Well, suck it Scott. You are not my Boss.” I reply with no sign of weakness in my voice. “Hey, foxy lady, it was a joke. Can’t anyone take sarcasm in this office anymore?” It was night pretty quick and as I was taking my gentle struts, I reminisced on how the day went. It was a funny one. Imagine you are in your desk, at work and someone sends in lunch but the lunch was only delivered to you. Then everyone starts raising eyebrows at you.

And I can't be less proud of her. The rest of our dinner time is filled with us eating together and my mum and I laughing at Cathy's hilarious jokes and stories, particularly at the story she told us of how she had to throw bagel bread at an annoying colleague of hers so that she can grab his attention to work. I really tried so hard not to picture the scenerio in my head, but I just could not stop myself from laughing at the imagination. Thank God I had already swallowed my food before then.

A man said and his team started laughing. Hearing this, I fisted my hand in anger. I cleared my throat to get their attention. "I didn't know my employees can make these useless jokes in work time. Do I give you payment for these fucking jokes?" I shouted at them. Their faces went pale finding me there. "We are very sorry Mr. King. We will not do this again" One of them told me. I looked at Max and spoke up," I want their resignation letters the first thing tomorrow in the morning."

“Though I once tried cooking for my staff and nearly burned down the test kitchen. True story.” I laughed out loud. The joke was so simple, but the way he told it, with that playful sparkle in his eyes, actually made it funny. “You? Burning down a kitchen? I can’t picture it.” We kept talking as the food came. He answered every question patiently ... about his childhood, his craziest business deal, even what he does when he’s not working. He told another joke about getting lost in his own building on the first day as CEO, and I found myself laughing again, genuinely enjoying his company.

The night rolled on in a blur of laughing, teasing and ridiculous stories. They roasted Samira for the time she tripped during a big corporate event. Tasha told a story about accidentally emailing a love confession to the whole company. Devin swore up and down he saw a ghost in the break room once. Then Theo talked about the time Samira accidentally sent a draft ad with a massive typo to the entire executive board ("Best Crapper Rates!" instead of "Best Career Rates!"). Samira turned beet red, and she covered her face with her hands while everyone howled with laughter.

"You've only heard Seth's side. Didn't you ever think to ask me what I've been through? "Is Seth good to me? At the company party, he had his pet sales manager, Lily, embarrass me in front of everyone. He 'rewarded' me with three days of cleaning toilets and accused me of getting ahead by flirting with old men. Did you have any clue? "I helped build this company with Seth from the ground up, leaving behind a job that paid a million a year. For twelve years, I've been out there, rain or shine, pulling in clients and propping up our numbers!

I love when they say that. Everyone is going around the room saying the same boring crap about how much they've enjoyed working in blah blah company working on the same whatever project for x number of years. And their personal comment is usually something like "I enjoy reading technical journals." So when they get to me, I usually do something like this: "My name is Jake. I worked for Vandalay Industries for 5 years as a latex salesman, followed by brief forays into architecture and marine biology before becoming a programmer." About 90% of the time no one is paying attention as I am saying this stuff, but that 10% of the time, it's just magic and someone will just laugh out loud.